Is it a Plot?
Ah! How cruel is the interval between the conception of a greatproject and its execution! What vain terrors! What irresolutions!
Life is at stake. Far more than life—honour!
SCHILLER'This is becoming serious,' thought Julien … 'and a little too obvious,'
he added, after a moment's reflection. 'Why! This pretty young beautycan speak to me in the library with a freedom which, thank heaven, isunrestricted; the Marquis, for fear of my bothering him with accounts,never comes there. Why! M. de La Mole and Comte Norbert, the onlypeople who ever show their faces here, are absent almost all day; it iseasy to watch for the moment of their return to the house, and the sublime Mathilde, for whose hand a Sovereign Prince would not be toonoble, wishes me to commit an act of abominable imprudence!
'It is clear, they wish to ruin me, or to make a fool of me, at least. Firstof all, they sought to ruin me by my letters; these proved cautious; verywell, now they require an action that shall be as clear as daylight. Thesepretty little gentlemen think me too simple or too conceited. The devil!
With the brightest moon you ever saw, to climb up by a ladder to a firstfloor, five and twenty feet from the ground! They will have plenty oftime to see me, even from the neighbouring houses. I shall be a fine sighton my ladder!' Julien went up to his room and began to pack his trunk,whistling as he did so. He had made up his mind to go, and not even toanswer the letter.
But this sage resolution gave him no peace of heart. 'If, by any chance,'
he said to himself, suddenly, his trunk packed and shut, 'Mathilde weresincere! Then I shall be cutting in her eyes the most perfect figure of acoward. I have no birth, so I require great qualities, ready on demand,with no flattering suppositions, qualities proved by eloquent deeds … '
He spent a quarter of an hour pacing the floor of his room. 'What usein denying it?' he asked himself, at length; 'I shall be a coward in hereyes. I lose not only the most brilliant young person in high society, aseveryone was saying at M. le Duc de Retz's ball, but, furthermore, theheavenly pleasure of seeing her throw over for me the Marquis de Croisenois, the son of a Duke, and a future Duke himself. A charming youngman who has all the qualities that I lack: a ready wit, birth, fortune …'This remorse will pursue me all my life, not for her, there are heaps ofmistresses, "but only one honour", as old Don Diego says, and here I amclearly and plainly recoiling from the first peril that comes my way; forthat duel with M. de Beauvoisis was a mere joke. This is quite different. Imay be shot point-blank by a servant, but that is the least danger; I mayforfeit my honour.
'This is becoming serious, my boy,' he went on, with a Gascon gaietyand accent. 'Honur is at stake. A poor devil kept down by fate in mylowly station will never find such an opportunity again; I shall have adventures, but tawdry ones … '
He reflected at length, he paced the room with a hurried step, stoppingshort now and again. There stood in his room a magnificent bust inmarble of Cardinal Richelieu, which persistently caught his eye. Thisbust appeared to be gazing at him sternly, as though reproaching him forthe want of that audacity which ought to be so natural to the Frenchcharacter. 'In thy time, great man, should I have hesitated?
'At the worst,' Julien told himself finally, 'let us suppose that all this isa plot, it is a very dark one, and highly compromising for a young girl.
They know that I am not the man to keep silent. They will therefore haveto kill me. That was all very well in 1574, in the days of Boniface de LaMole, but the La Mole of today would never dare. These people are notthe same now. Mademoiselle de La Mole is so envied! Four hundreddrawing-rooms would echo with her disgrace next day, and with whatrejoicing!
'The servants chatter among themselves of the marked preference thatis shown me; I know it, I have heard them …'On the other hand, her letters! … They may suppose that I have themon me. They surprise me in her room, and take them from me. I shallhave two, three, four, any number of men to deal with. But these men,where will they collect them? Where is one to find discreet agents in Paris? They are afraid of the law … Gad! It will be the Caylus and Croisenois and de Luz themselves. The thought of that moment, and the foolish figure I shall cut there among them will be what has temptedthem. Beware the fate of Abelard, Master Secretary!
'Begad, then, gentlemen, you shall bear the mark of my fists, I shallstrike at your faces, like Caesar's soldiers at Pharsalia … As for the letters, I can put them in a safe place.'
Julien made copies of the two last, concealed them in a volume of thefine Voltaire from the library, and went himself with the originals to thepost.
When he returned: 'Into what madness am I rushing!' he said to himself with surprise and terror. He had been a quarter of an hour withoutconsidering his action of the coming night in all its aspects.
'But, if I refuse, I must despise myself ever afterwards. All my lifelong, that ac............