To M. Hollydorf, Director of the Animalculan Corps of the R. H. B. Society, at present conducting their explorations in the newly discovered city of Heraclea Doweri, in the country of the wild hordes in the Andean region of La Plata.—Greeting, in behalf of our patrons and members of the Society, with personal congratulations! Wonder and surprised amazement are terms of too weak invention to express the emotional excitement caused by your letter of discovery, which reached us with unaccountable despatch. The introduction,—although conducted with consummate skill, that our credulity might not be overstrained by the relation of concurring events in a manner too abrupt,—was of a character so startling that our mouths unconsciously retained the smoke of our pipes, to be emitted in the full volume of accumulation with an involumed sigh of relief, when impressed with the conviction of your sanity. It appears from your relation, that your progress was attended by concurrent events of the most surprising description, which by a conjunction of circumstances, when subject to opposition, were readily overcome, with an effect that tended to the final development of the Animalculan race of humanity. The train with the slightest descriptive discrepancy would have consigned your letter to the basket as a maniacal production. As it was, with the first announcement, all eyes became fixed upon the reader in mute astonishment, 283too deeply impressed for skeptical thought, or incredulous comparison; the valves of respiratory emotion continued closed to voluntary exercise, with singular endurance, until the last sentence of your letter opened their vent with a prolonged whe-w accompanied with a volume of condensed smoke commensurate with the capacity of each member for marvelous inflation. Before proceeding to the theoretical discussion, and precedental comparison of your revelations with those of past ages, the members indulged in a variety of extra-scientific ejaculations decidedly foreign to your Manatitlan code of educational ethics.

In discursive consultation after the members had become sufficiently restored for the exercise of their wonted mental equilibrium, by potations obnoxious to the cultivated habits of your exemplars, the discovery was subjected to an analytico-cosmogenerical evolution of ideas. During the discussion a variety of theories were advanced by the prominent members, embracing involution and evolution, to account for the infinitesimal size of the Animalculan race of humanity, and causes of reduction. Some advocated psychological condensation of the souls of our race after death, the degrees of perfection being indicated by the gradations of size distinguishing the castes of giantesco, medium, and tit. Others that they were the concentrated essences of our human vitality in happy translation exonerated from the corruptions of organic support. But a majority were inclined to subject you and your associates to a thorough test upon the score of optical illusion; a few, however, contended that you were subject to necromantic agency. In fact, your mental and physical condition was analyzed with the nicest tests of scrutiny that could be brought to bear from the manifestations developed in the composition of your letter. From the extremes of experience, and extensive resources of the 284members for tracing the influences of climate, with the moral effect of the eventful transitions through which you passed, they soon arrived at the definite conclusion that your discoveries were legitimately compatible with a sound mind, notwithstanding the precedental lack of parallel examples for comparison. But before final adoption, the effects likely to be wrought in mental, moral, and theological philosophy were elaborately discussed. But from a lack of data to establish the fact of their complete and separate existence as a race, or whether they are representative soul iotas of our own race undergoing the process of refinement, the question was held in suspension for the bias of well attested information. The discovery, however, was unanimously indorsed as an unprecedented matter of fact, tangible to your own and the initiated senses of your associates, and in no way improbable, although reduced to the extreme limits of believing divisibility.

From the insatiable desire of your personal friends, and the few court magnates admitted to the secret, to see and read your letter, in proof of the reality of the discovery, it has become extremely dilapidated; besides, the encroachments of memento clippings have in some parts reached the text. From the almost realized probability of its becoming illegible it is the general wish of the members, expressed in a series of resolutions, that you should retain the duplicate to be filed in the recorded transactions of the Society on your return. Of this you may be sure, from the reverence bestowed upon the one received, in after years it will be esteemed as a relic of attraction sufficient for the liquidation of any emergency to which the Society may become subject from revolution or invasion. By the adoption of this advisable precaution the discovery will be preserved for the perpetual honor and benefit of the Society, as an index of its pre?minent claims above those of rival societies and 285associations in foreign countries. We shall not for the future presume to offer you advice for the direction of your investigations, but in your next communication the Society would be pleased to learn from the Manatitlan naturalists the number and species of the Giga animals that are at present represented in Animalculan life. If your researches have developed other racial peculiarities in the interim they will serve as a digestive stimulant to the doubtful.

The society has elected, by a unanimous vote, Mr. Welson, Mr. Dow, and Captain Greenwood, corresponding members, and the Padre Simon, Jack, and Bill (you neglected to write the names of the last mentioned in full), honorary fellows. This is a step toward liberalism quite unprecedented in the annals of the Society. Their election, however, was held as a politic necessity to prevent them from advancing claims of priority under the patronage of foreign societies, as Prussia now intends to maintain her position as a—if not the—leading nation of Europe, which the reputation of her Krupp’s cannon have gained. I am recommended to hint the necessity of precaution in keeping watch over their movements, lest by surreptitious publication of the discovery, the honors of the Society dependent upon priority might be imperiled. Your personal friends send three household tympano-microscopes, suited for dining-room entertainment and post-prandial speeches. Herr Dollynitzen, the eminent toy architect, to whom the discovery was communicated as a state secret, has exercised his utmost skill in the erection and adornment of the palaces intended for the Manatitlan Dosch and his advisors; also in the arrangement of the Court suites for the production of magnificent effects. The appointments of the lesser buildings and accommodations for attache’s attendants, are in admirable keeping with the grandeur of the design. The buildings are supplied with all the modern improvements and 286appliances for the distribution of gas and water, for illumination and lavatory purposes. The brewery, stables, and distillery, are without the chief inclosure in the rear. The punch bowls, bier glasses, and state table service of plate, if found too cumbersome for use, will serve as monuments for the memorial attestation of our artistic skill. In fact, you will be surprised with the skill exhibited in the accomplishment of the undertaking, in all that appertains to durability and finished taste, when you consider the short space of time allowed for its completion. Imperial majesty, and the prince of diplomats, have promised to find time to offer you their autographical greetings for the honors you have conferred upon the crown by your important discoveries, which will be sanctioned in acceptance with the double approval of our august bird of prey, as token of recognized merit.
Yours truly,
Per order of the R. H. B. Society,
Bugwitzs, Sec.

N. B. (Entre nous.) If you can send us (liberals) a codified formula of the Manatitlan system of education (under cover to me), it might be used as a reformatory basis for a revolutionary movement to effect the rescue of governmental power from the arbitrary sway of the legitimate few. Anything new, with the reputation of an experienced trial of six or seven thousand years, would serve as a subject for public speaking and talk; for as the Manatitlans say, the liberal and radical democracy of our race are attracted by the sonorous bellowings of the physically strong lunged leaders of herd, and amused in dalliance with the softly toned melody of the lowing kine. B.

M. Hollydorf, after reading the secretary’s letter, would have suppressed the autographic missive; but the Dosch called his attention to it,—laughingly adding, 287that he had been advised of the contents by a third party, who was present during the process of dictation. Observing the flush that mounted to M. Hollydorf’s face, he said, “I perceive that our system of espionage is not fully sanctioned by your thoughts. But as our object is devoid of instinctive curiosity and malice, and solely devoted to the emancipation of your race from the impositions of selfishness, you will upon mature consideration approve of our course. We are fully aware of the difficulty you experience in divesting yourselves of the reverential awe inspired by the sounding appellations of king, emperor, prince, and other titles bestowed for self-gratulation in the flights of vanity. But if you will analyze the charter privileges conferred with these vapory titles, you will find that patents of nobility are the real talons of your standard emblem of nationality, which allows the grantee to become a participator with the imperial or kingly beak, in rending the spoils of oppression. In truth, the whole structure of your mythological and classical literature............