Officiates as a kind of Gentleman Usher, in bringingvarious People together.

　　The storm had long given place to a calm the mostprofound, and the evening was pretty far advanced—indeed supper was over, and the process of digestionproceeding as favourably as, under the influence of completetranquillity, cheerful conversation, and a moderate allowance ofbrandy-and-water, most wise men conversant with the anatomyand functions of the human frame will consider that it ought tohave proceeded, when the three friends, or as one might say, bothin a civil and religious sense, and with proper deference andregard to the holy state of matrimony, the two friends, (Mr andMrs Browdie counting as no more than one,) were startled by thenoise of loud and angry threatenings below stairs, which presentlyattained so high a pitch, and were conveyed besides in language sotowering, sanguinary, and ferocious, that it could hardly havebeen surpassed, if there had actually been a Saracen’s head thenpresent in the establishment, supported on the shoulders andsurmounting the trunk of a real, live, furious, and mostunappeasable Saracen.

　　This turmoil, instead of quickly subsiding after the firstoutburst, (as turmoils not unfrequently do, whether in taverns,legislative assemblies, or elsewhere,) into a mere grumbling andgrowling squabble, increased every moment; and although thewhole din appeared to be raised by but one pair of lungs, yet that one pair was of so powerful a quality, and repeated such words as‘scoundrel,’ ‘rascal,’ ‘insolent puppy,’ and a variety of expletives noless flattering to the party addressed, with such great relish andstrength of tone, that a dozen voices raised in concert under anyordinary circumstances would have made far less uproar andcreated much smaller consternation.

　　‘Why, what’s the matter?’ said Nicholas, moving hastily towardsthe door.

　　John Browdie was striding in the same direction when MrsBrowdie turned pale, and, leaning back in her chair, requestedhim with a faint voice to take notice, that if he ran into any dangerit was her intention to fall into hysterics immediately, and that theconsequences might be more serious than he thought for. Johnlooked rather disconcerted by this intelligence, though there was alurking grin on his face at the same time; but, being quite unableto keep out of the fray, he compromised the matter by tucking hiswife’s arm under his own, and, thus accompanied, followingNicholas downstairs with all speed.

　　The passage outside the coffee-room door was the scene ofdisturbance, and here were congregated the coffee-roomcustomers and waiters, together with two or three coachmen andhelpers from the yard. These had hastily assembled round a youngman who from his appearance might have been a year or twoolder than Nicholas, and who, besides having given utterance tothe defiances just now described, seemed to have proceeded toeven greater lengths in his indignation, inasmuch as his feet hadno other covering than a pair of stockings, while a couple ofslippers lay at no great distance from the head of a prostrate figurein an opposite corner, who bore the appearance of having been shot into his present retreat by means of a kick, and complimentedby having the slippers flung about his ears afterwards.

　　The coffee-room customers, and the waiters, and the coachmen,and the helpers—not to mention a barmaid who was looking onfrom behind an open sash window—seemed at that moment, if aspectator might judge from their winks, nods, and mutteredexclamations, strongly disposed to take part against the younggentleman in the stockings. Observing this, and that the younggentleman was nearly of his own age and had in nothing theappearance of an habitual brawler, Nicholas, impelled by suchfeelings as will influence young men sometimes, felt a very strongdisposition to side with the weaker party, and so thrust himself atonce into the centre of the group, and in a more emphatic tone,perhaps, than circumstances might seem to warrant, demandedwhat all that noise was about.

　　‘Hallo!’ said one of the men from the yard, ‘this is somebody indisguise, this is.’

　　‘Room for the eldest son of the Emperor of Roosher, gen’l’men!’

　　cried another fellow.

　　Disregarding these sallies, which were uncommonly wellreceived, as sallies at the expense of the best-dressed persons in acrowd usually are, Nicholas glanced carelessly round, andaddressing the young gentleman, who had by this time picked uphis slippers and thrust his feet into them, repeated his inquirieswith a courteous air.

　　‘A mere nothing!’ he replied.

　　At this a murmur was raised by the lookers-on, and some of theboldest cried, ‘Oh, indeed!—Wasn’t it though?—Nothing, eh?—Hecalled that nothing, did he? Lucky for him if he found it nothing.’

　　 These and many other expressions of ironical disapprobationhaving been exhausted, two or three of the out-of-door fellowsbegan to hustle Nicholas and the young gentleman who had madethe noise: stumbling against them by accident, and treading ontheir toes, and so forth. But this being a round game, and one notnecessarily limited to three or four players, was open to JohnBrowdie too, who, bursting into the little crowd—to the greatterror of his wife—and falling about in all directions, now to theright, now to the left, now forwards, now backwards, andaccidentally driving his elbow through the hat of the tallest helper,who had been particularly active, speedily caused the odds to weara very different appearance; while more than one stout fellowlimped away to a respectful distance, anathematising with tears inhis eyes the heavy tread and ponderous feet of the burlyYorkshireman.

　　‘Let me see him do it again,’ said he who had been kicked intothe corner, rising as he spoke, apparently more from the fear ofJohn Browdie’s inadvertently treading upon him, than from anydesire to place himself on equal terms with his late adversary. ‘Letme see him do it again. That’s all.’

　　‘Let me hear you make those remarks again,’ said the youngman, ‘and I’ll knock that head of yours in among the wine-glassesbehind you there.’

　　Here a waiter who had been rubbing his hands in excessiveenjoyment of the scene, so long as only the breaking of heads wasin question, adjured the spectators with great earnestness to fetchthe police, declaring that otherwise murder would be surely done,and that he was responsible for all the glass and china on thepremises.

　　 ‘No one need trouble himself to stir,’ said the young gentleman,‘I am going to remain in the house all night, and shall be foundhere in the morning if there is any assault to answer for.’

　　‘What did you strike him for?’ asked one of the bystanders.

　　‘Ah! what did you strike him for?’ demanded the others.

　　The unpopular gentleman looked coolly round, and addressinghimself to Nicholas, said:

　　‘You inquired just now what was the matter here. The matter issimply this. Yonder person, who was drinking with a friend in thecoffee-room when I took my seat there for half an hour beforegoing to bed, (for I have just come off a journey, and preferredstopping here tonight, to going home at this hour, where I was notexpected until tomorrow,) chose to express himself in verydisrespectful, and insolently familiar terms, of a young lady, whomI recognised from his description and other circumstances, andwhom I have the honour to know. As he spoke loud enough to beoverheard by the other guests who were present, I informed himmost civilly that he was mistaken in his conjectures, which were ofan offensive nature, and requested him to forbear. He did so for alittle time, but as he chose to renew his conversation when leavingthe room, in a more offensive strain than before, I could notrefrain from making after him, and facilitating his departure by akick, which reduced him to the posture in which you saw him justnow. I am the best judge of my own affairs, I take it,’ said theyoung man, who had certainly not quite recovered from his recentheat; ‘if anybody here thinks proper to make this quarrel his own,I have not the smallest earthly objection, I do assure him.’

　　Of all possible courses of proceeding under the circumstancesdetailed, there was certainly not one which, in his then state of mind, could have appeared more laudable to Nicholas than this.

　　There were not many subjects of dispute which at that momentcould have come home to his own breast more powerfully, forhaving the unknown uppermost in his thoughts, it naturallyoccurred to him that he would have done just the same if anyaudacious gossiper durst have presumed in his hearing to speaklightly of her. Influenced by these considerations, he espoused theyoung gentleman’s quarrel with great warmth, protesting that hehad done quite right, and that he respected him for it; which JohnBrowdie (albeit not quite clear as to the merits) immediatelyprotested too, with not inferior vehemence.

　　‘Let him take care, that’s all,’ said the defeated party, who wasbeing rubbed down by a waiter, after his recent fall on the dustyboards. ‘He don’t knock me about for nothing, I can tell him that.

　　A pretty state of things, if a man isn’t to admire a handsome girlwithout being beat to pieces for it!’

　　This reflection appeared to have great weight with the younglady in the bar, who (adjusting her cap as she spoke, and glancingat a mirror) declared that it would be a very pretty state of thingsindeed; and that if people were to be punished for actions soinnocent and natural as that, there would be more people to beknocked down than there would be people to knock them down,and that she wondered what the gentleman meant by it, that shedid.

　　‘My dear girl,’ said the young gentleman in a low voice,advancing towards the sash window.

　　‘Nonsense, sir!’ replied the young lady sharply, smiling thoughas she turned aside, and biting her lip, (whereat Mrs Browdie, whowas still standing on the stairs, glanced at her with disdain, and called to her husband to come away).

　　‘No, but listen to me,’ said the young man. ‘If admiration of apretty face were criminal, I should be the most hopeless personalive, for I cannot resist one. It has the most extraordinary effectupon me, checks and controls me in the most furious andobstinate mood. You see what an effect yours has had upon mealready.’

　　‘Oh, that’s very pretty,’ replied the young lady, tossing her head,‘but—’

　　‘Yes, I know it’s very pretty,’ said the young man, looking withan air of admiration in the barmaid’s face; ‘I said so, you know,just this moment. But beauty should be spoken of respectfully—respectfully, and in proper terms, and with a becoming sense of itsworth and excellence, whereas this fellow has no more notion—’

　　The young lady interrupted the conversation at this point, bythrusting her head out of the bar-window, and inquiring of thewaiter in a shrill voice whether that young man who had beenknocked down was going to stand in the passage all night, orwhether the entrance was to be left clear for other people. Thewaiters taking the hint, and communicating it to the hostlers, werenot slow to change their tone too, and the result was, that theunfortunate victim was bundled out in a twinkling.

　　‘I am sure I have seen that fellow before,’ said Nicholas.

　　‘Indeed!’ replied his new acquaintance.

　　‘I am certain of it,’ said Nicholas, pausing to reflect. ‘Where canI have—stop!—yes, to be sure—he belongs to a register-office upat the west end of the town. I knew I recollected the face.’

　　It was, indeed, Tom, the ugly clerk.

　　‘That’s odd enough!’ said Nicholas, ruminating upon the strange manner in which the register-office seemed to start up andstare him in the face every now and then, and when he leastexpected it.

　　‘I am much obliged to you for your kind advocacy of my causewhen it most needed an advocate,’ said the young man, laughing,and drawing a card from his pocket. ‘Perhaps you’ll do me thefavour to let me know where I can thank you.’

　　Nicholas took the card, and glancing at it involuntarily as hereturned the compliment, evinced very great surprise.

　　‘Mr Frank Cheeryble!’ said Nicholas. ‘Surely not the nephew ofCheeryble Brothers, who is expected tomorrow!’

　　‘I don’t usually call myself the nephew of the firm,’ returned MrFrank, good-humouredly; ‘but of the two excellent individuals whocompose it, I am proud to say I am the nephew. And you, I see, areMr Nickleby, of whom I have heard so much! This is a mostunexpected meeting, but not the less welcome, I assure you.’

　　Nicholas responded to these compliments with others of thesame kind, and they shook hands warmly. Then he introducedJohn Browdie, who had remained in a state of great admirationever since the young lady in the bar had been so skilfully won overto the right side. Then Mrs John Browdie was introduced, andfinally they all went upstairs together and spent the next half-hourwith great satisfaction and mutual entertainment; Mrs JohnBrowdie beginning the conversation by declaring that of all themade-up things she ever saw, that young woman below-stairs wasthe vainest and the plainest.

　　This Mr Frank Cheeryble, although, to judge from what hadrecently taken place, a hot-headed young man (which is not anabsolute miracle and phenomenon in nature), was a sprightly, good-humoured, pleasant fellow, with much both in hiscountenance and disposition that reminded Nicholas very stronglyof the kind-hearted brothers. His manner was as unaffected astheirs, and his demeanour full of that heartiness which, to mostpeople who have anything generous in their composition, ispeculiarly prepossessing. Add to this, that he was good-lookingand intelligent, had a plentiful share of vivacity, was extremelycheerful, and accommodated himself in five minutes’ time to allJohn Browdie’s oddities with as much ease as if he had known himfrom a boy; and it will be a source of no great wonder that, whenthey parted for the night, he had produced a most favourableimpression, not only upon the worthy Yorkshireman and his wife,but upon Nicholas also, who, revolving all these things in his mindas he made the best of his way home, arrived at the conclusionthat he had laid the foundation of a most agreeable and desirableacquaintance.

　　‘But it’s a most extraordinary thing about that register-officefellow!’ thought Nicholas. ‘Is it likely that this nephew can knowanything about that beautiful girl? When Tim Linkinwater gaveme to understand the other day that he was coming to take a sharein the business here, he said he had been superintending it inGermany for four years, and that during the last six months hehad been engaged in establishing an agency in the north ofEngland. That’s four years and a half—four years and a half. Shecan’t be more than seventeen—say eighteen at the outside. Shewas quite a child when he went away, then. I should say he knewnothing about her and had never seen her, so he can give me noinformation. At all events,’ thought Nicholas, coming to the realpoint in his mind, ‘there can be no danger of any prior occupation of her affections in that quarter; that’s quite clear.’

　　Is selfishness a necessary ingredient in the composition of thatpassion called love, or does it deserve all the fine things whichpoets, in the exercise of their undoubted vocation, have said of it?

　　There are, no doubt, authenticated instances of gentlemen havinggiven up ladies and ladies having given up gentlemen tomeritorious rivals, under circumstances of great high-mindedness;but is it quite established that the majority of such ladies andgentlemen have not made a virtue of necessity, and nobly resignedwhat was beyond their reach; as a private soldier might register avow never to accept the order of the Garter, or a poor curate ofgreat piety and learning, but of no family—save a very large familyof children—might renounce a bishopric?

　　Here was Nicholas Nickleby, who would have scorned thethought of counting how the chances stood of his rising in favouror fortune with the brothers Cheeryble, now that their nephewhad returned, already deep in calculations whether that samenephew was likely to rival him in the affections of the fairunknown—discussing the matter with himself too, as gravely as if,with that one exception, it were all settled; and recurring to thesubject again and again, and feeling quite indignant and ill-used atthe notion of anybody else making love to one with whom he hadnever exchanged a word in all his life. To be sure, he exaggeratedrather than dep............