Descriptive of a Dinner at Mr Ralph Nickleby’s, andof the Manner in which the Company entertainedthemselves, before Dinner, at Dinner, and afterDinner.

　　The bile and rancour of the worthy Miss Knag undergoingno diminution during the remainder of the week, butrather augmenting with every successive hour; and thehonest ire of all the young ladies rising, or seeming to rise, in exactproportion to the good spinster’s indignation, and both waxingvery hot every time Miss Nickleby was called upstairs; it will bereadily imagined that that young lady’s daily life was none of themost cheerful or enviable kind. She hailed the arrival of Saturdaynight, as a prisoner would a few delicious hours’ respite from slowand wearing torture, and felt that the poor pittance for her firstweek’s labour would have been dearly and hardly earned, had itsamount been trebled.

　　When she joined her mother, as usual, at the street corner, shewas not a little surprised to find her in conversation with Mr RalphNickleby; but her surprise was soon redoubled, no less by thematter of their conversation, than by the smoothed and alteredmanner of Mr Nickleby himself.

　　‘Ah! my dear!’ said Ralph; ‘we were at that moment talkingabout you.’

　　‘Indeed!’ replied Kate, shrinking, though she scarce knew why,from her uncle’s cold glistening eye.

　　 ‘That instant,’ said Ralph. ‘I was coming to call for you, makingsure to catch you before you left; but your mother and I have beentalking over family affairs, and the time has slipped away sorapidly—’

　　‘Well, now, hasn’t it?’ interposed Mrs Nickleby, quite insensibleto the sarcastic tone of Ralph’s last remark. ‘Upon my word, Icouldn’t have believed it possible, that such a—Kate, my dear,you’re to dine with your uncle at half-past six o’clock tomorrow.’

　　Triumphing in having been the first to communicate thisextraordinary intelligence, Mrs Nickleby nodded and smiled agreat many times, to impress its full magnificence on Kate’swondering mind, and then flew off, at an acute angle, to acommittee of ways and means.

　　‘Let me see,’ said the good lady. ‘Your black silk frock will bequite dress enough, my dear, with that pretty little scarf, and aplain band in your hair, and a pair of black silk stock—Dear, dear,’

　　cried Mrs Nickleby, flying off at another angle, ‘if I had but thoseunfortunate amethysts of mine—you recollect them, Kate, mylove—how they used to sparkle, you know—but your papa, yourpoor dear papa—ah! there never was anything so cruellysacrificed as those jewels were, never!’ Overpowered by thisagonising thought, Mrs Nickleby shook her head, in a melancholymanner, and applied her handkerchief to her eyes.

　　I don’t want them, mama, indeed,’ said Kate. ‘Forget that youever had them.’

　　‘Lord, Kate, my dear,’ rejoined Mrs Nickleby, pettishly, ‘howlike a child you talk! Four-and-twenty silver tea-spoons, brother-in-law, two gravies, four salts, all the amethysts—necklace, brooch,and ear-rings—all made away with, at the same time, and I saying, almost on my bended knees, to that poor good soul, “Why don’tyou do something, Nicholas? Why don’t you make somearrangement?” I am sure that anybody who was about us at thattime, will do me the justice to own, that if I said that once, I said itfifty times a day. Didn’t I, Kate, my dear? Did I ever lose anopportunity of impressing it on your poor papa?’

　　‘No, no, mama, never,’ replied Kate. And to do Mrs Nicklebyjustice, she never had lost—and to do married ladies as a bodyjustice, they seldom do lose—any occasion of inculcating similargolden percepts, whose only blemish is, the slight degree ofvagueness and uncertainty in which they are usually enveloped.

　　‘Ah!’ said Mrs Nickleby, with great fervour, ‘if my advice hadbeen taken at the beginning—Well, I have always done MY duty,and that’s some comfort.’

　　When she had arrived at this reflection, Mrs Nickleby sighed,rubbed her hands, cast up her eyes, and finally assumed a look ofmeek composure; thus importing that she was a persecuted saint,but that she wouldn’t trouble her hearers by mentioning acircumstance which must be so obvious to everybody.

　　‘Now,’ said Ralph, with a smile, which, in common with allother tokens of emotion, seemed to skulk under his face, ratherthan play boldly over it—’ to return to the point from which wehave strayed. I have a little party of—of—gentlemen with whom Iam connected in business just now, at my house tomorrow; andyour mother has promised that you shall keep house for me. I amnot much used to parties; but this is one of business, and suchfooleries are an important part of it sometimes. You don’t mindobliging me?’

　　‘Mind!’ cried Mrs Nickleby. ‘My dear Kate, why—’

　　 ‘Pray,’ interrupted Ralph, motioning her to be silent. ‘I spoke tomy niece.’

　　‘I shall be very glad, of course, uncle,’ replied Kate; ‘but I amafraid you will find me awkward and embarrassed.’

　　‘Oh no,’ said Ralph; ‘come when you like, in a hackney coach—I’ll pay for it. Good-night—a—a—God bless you.’

　　The blessing seemed to stick in Mr Ralph Nickleby’s throat, asif it were not used to the thoroughfare, and didn’t know the wayout. But it got out somehow, though awkwardly enough; andhaving disposed of it, he shook hands with his two relatives, andabruptly left them.

　　‘What a very strongly marked countenance your uncle has!’

　　said Mrs Nickleby, quite struck with his parting look. ‘I don’t seethe slightest resemblance to his poor brother.’

　　‘Mama!’ said Kate reprovingly. ‘To think of such a thing!’

　　‘No,’ said Mrs Nickleby, musing. ‘There certainly is none. Butit’s a very honest face.’

　　The worthy matron made this remark with great emphasis andelocution, as if it comprised no small quantity of ingenuity andresearch; and, in truth, it was not unworthy of being classedamong the extraordinary discoveries of the age. Kate looked uphastily, and as hastily looked down again.

　　‘What has come over you, my dear, in the name of goodness?’

　　asked Mrs Nickleby, when they had walked on, for some time, insilence.

　　‘I was only thinking, mama,’ answered Kate.

　　‘Thinking!’ repeated Mrs Nickleby. ‘Ay, and indeed plenty tothink about, too. Your uncle has taken a strong fancy to you, that’squite clear; and if some extraordinary good fortune doesn’t come to you, after this, I shall be a little surprised, that’s all.’

　　With this she launched out into sundry anecdotes of youngladies, who had had thousand-pound notes given them inreticules, by eccentric uncles; and of young ladies who hadaccidentally met amiable gentlemen of enormous wealth at theiruncles’ houses, and married them, after short but ardentcourtships; and Kate, listening first in apathy, and afterwards inamusement, felt, as they walked home, something of her mother’ssanguine complexion gradually awakening in her own bosom, andbegan to think that her prospects might be brightening, and thatbetter days might be dawning upon them. Such is hope, Heaven’sown gift to struggling mortals; pervading, like some subtle essencefrom the skies, all things, both good and bad; as universal as death,and more infectious than disease!

　　The feeble winter’s sun—and winter’s suns in the city are veryfeeble indeed—might have brightened up, as he shone through thedim windows of the large old house, on witnessing the unusualsight which one half-furnished room displayed. In a gloomycorner, where, for years, had stood a silent dusty pile ofmerchandise, sheltering its colony of mice, and frowning, a dulland lifeless mass, upon the panelled room, save when, respondingto the roll of heavy waggons in the street without, it quaked withsturdy tremblings and caused the bright eyes of its tiny citizens togrow brighter still with fear, and struck them motionless, withattentive ear and palpitating heart, until the alarm had passedaway—in this dark corner, was arranged, with scrupulous care, allKate’s little finery for the day; each article of dress partaking ofthat indescribable air of jauntiness and individuality which emptygarments—whether by association, or that they become moulded, as it were, to the owner’s form—will take, in eyes accustomed to,or picturing, the wearer’s smartness. In place of a bale of mustygoods, there lay the black silk dress: the neatest possible figure initself. The small shoes, with toes delicately turned out, stood uponthe very pressure of some old iron weight; and a pile of harshdiscoloured leather had unconsciously given place to the verysame little pair of black silk stockings, which had been the objectsof Mrs Nickleby’s peculiar care. Rats and mice, and such smallgear, had long ago been starved, or had emigrated to betterquarters: and, in their stead, appeared gloves, bands, scarfs, hairpins, and many other little devices, almost as ingenious in theirway as rats and mice themselves, for the tantalisation of mankind.

　　About and among them all, moved Kate herself, not the leastbeautiful or unwonted relief to the stern, old, gloomy building.

　　In good time, or in bad time, as the reader likes to take it—forMrs Nickleby’s impatience went a great deal faster than the clocksat that end of the town, and Kate was dressed to the very last hairpin a full hour and a half before it was at all necessary to begin tothink about it—in good time, or in bad time, the toilet wascompleted; and it being at length the hour agreed upon forstarting, the milkman fetched a coach from the nearest stand, andKate, with many adieux to her mother, and many kind messages toMiss La Creevy, who was to come to tea, seated herself in it, andwent away in state, if ever anybody went away in state in ahackney coach yet. And the coach, and the coachman, and thehorses, rattled, and jangled, and whipped, and cursed, and swore,and tumbled on together, until they came to Golden Square.

　　The coachman gave a tremendous double knock at the door,which was opened long before he had done, as quickly as if there had been a man behind it, with his hand tied to the latch. Kate,who had expected no more uncommon appearance than NewmanNoggs in a clean shirt, was not a little astonished to see that theopener was a man in handsome livery, and that there were two orthree others in the hall. There was no doubt about its being theright house, however, for there was the name upon the door; soshe accepted the laced coat-sleeve which was tendered her, andentering the house, was ushered upstairs, into a back drawing-room, where she was left alone.

　　If she had been surprised at the apparition of the footman, shewas perfectly absorbed in amazement at the richness andsplendour of the furniture. The softest and most elegant carpets,the most exquisite pictures, the costliest mirrors; articles of richestornament, quite dazzling from their beauty and perplexing fromthe prodigality with which they were scattered around;encountered her on every side. The very staircase nearly down tothe hall-door, was crammed with beautiful and luxurious things,as though the house were brimful of riches, which, with a verytrifling addition, would fairly run over into the street.

　　Presently, she heard a series of loud double knocks at thestreet-door, and after every knock some new voice in the nextroom; the tones of Mr Ralph Nickleby were easily distinguishableat first, but by degrees they merged into the general buzz ofconversation, and all she could ascertain was, that there wereseveral gentlemen with no very musical voices, who talked veryloud, laughed very heartily, and swore more than she would havethought quite necessary. But this was a question of taste.

　　At length, the door opened, and Ralph himself, divested of hisboots, and ceremoniously embellished with black silks and shoes, presented his crafty face.

　　‘I couldn’t see you before, my dear,’ he said, in a low tone, andpointing, as he spoke, to the next room. ‘I was engaged inreceiving them. Now—shall I take you in?’

　　‘Pray, uncle,’ said Kate, a little flurried, as people much moreconversant with society often are, when they are about to enter aroom full of strangers, and have had time to think of it previously,‘are there any ladies here?’

　　‘No,’ said Ralph, shortly, ‘I don’t know any.’

　　‘Must I go in immediately?’ asked Kate, drawing back a little.

　　‘As you please,’ said Ralph, shrugging his shoulders. ‘They areall come, and dinner will be announced directly afterwards—that’sall.’

　　Kate would have entreated a few minutes’ respite, butreflecting that her uncle might consider the payment of thehackney-coach fare a sort of bargain for her punctuality, shesuffered him to draw her arm through his, and to lead her away.

　　Seven or eight gentlemen were standing round the fire whenthey went in, and, as they were talking very loud, were not awareof their entrance until Mr Ralph Nickleby, touching one on thecoat-sleeve, said in a harsh emphatic voice, as if to attract generalattention—‘Lord Frederick Verisopht, my niece, Miss Nickleby.’

　　The group dispersed, as if in great surprise, and the gentlemanaddressed, turning round, exhibited a suit of clothes of the mostsuperlative cut, a pair of whiskers of similar quality, a moustache,a head of hair, and a young face.

　　‘Eh!’ said the gentleman. ‘What—the—deyvle!’

　　With which broken ejaculations, he fixed his glass in his eye, and stared at Miss Nickleby in great surprise.

　　‘My niece, my lord,’ said Ralph.

　　‘Then my ears did not deceive me, and it’s not wa-a-x work,’

　　said his lordship. ‘How de do? I’m very happy.’ And then hislordship turned to another superlative gentleman, somethingolder, something stouter, something redder in the face, andsomething longer upon town, and said in a loud whisper that thegirl was ‘deyvlish pitty.’

　　‘Introduce me, Nickleby,’ said this second gentleman, who waslounging with his back to the fire, and both elbows on thechimneypiece.

　　‘Sir Mulberry Hawk,’ said Ralph.

　　‘Otherwise the most knowing card in the pa-ack, MissNickleby,’ said Lord Frederick Verisopht.

　　‘Don’t leave me out, Nickleby,’ cried a sharp-faced gentleman,who was sitting on a low chair with a high back, reading the paper.

　　‘Mr Pyke,’ said Ralph.

　　‘Nor me, Nickleby,’ cried a gentleman with a flushed face and aflash air, from the elbow of Sir Mulberry Hawk.

　　‘Mr Pluck,’ said Ralph. Then wheeling about again, towards agentleman with the neck of a stork and the legs of no animal inparticular, Ralph introduced him as the Honourable Mr Snobb;and a white-headed person at the table as Colonel Chowser. Thecolonel was in conversation with somebody, who appeared to be amake-weight, and was not introduced at all.

　　There were two circumstances which, in this early stage of theparty, struck home to Kate’s bosom, and brought the bloodtingling to her face. One was the flippant contempt with which theguests evidently regarded her uncle, and the other, the easy insolence of their manner towards herself. That the first symptomwas very likely to lead to the aggravation of the second, it neededno great penetration to foresee. And here Mr Ralph Nickleby hadreckoned without his host; for however fresh from the country ayoung lady (by nature) may be, and however unacquainted withconventional behaviour, the chances are, that she will have quiteas strong an innate sense of the decencies and proprieties of life asif she had run the gauntlet of a dozen London seasons—possibly astronger one, for such senses have been known to blunt in thisimproving process.

　　When Ralph had completed the ceremonial of introduction, heled his blushing niece to a seat. As he did so, he glanced warilyround as though to assure himself of the impression which herunlooked-for appearance had created.

　　‘An unexpected playsure, Nickleby,’ said Lord FrederickVerisopht, taking his glass out of his right eye, where it had, untilnow, done duty on Kate, and fixing it in his left, to bring it to bearon Ralph.

　　‘Designed to surprise you, Lord Frederick,’ said Mr Pluck.

　　‘Not a bad idea,’ said his lordship, ‘and one that would almostwarrant the addition of an extra two and a half per cent.’

　　‘Nickleby,’ said Sir Mulberry Hawk, in a thick coarse voice,‘take the hint, and tack it on the other five-and-twenty, orwhatever it is, and give me half for the advice.’

　　Sir Mulberry garnished this speech with a hoarse laugh, andterminated it with a pleasant oath regarding Mr Nickleby’s limbs,whereat Messrs Pyke and Pluck laughed consumedly.

　　These gentlemen had not yet quite recovered the jest, whendinner was announced, and then they were thrown into fresh ecstasies by a similar cause; for Sir Mulberry Hawk, in an excessof humour, shot dexterously past Lord Frederick Verisopht whowas about to lead Kate downstairs, and drew her arm through hisup to the elbow.

　　‘No, damn it, Verisopht,’ said Sir Mulberry, ‘fair play’s a jewel,and Miss Nickleby and I settled the matter with our eyes tenminutes ago.’

　　‘Ha, ha, ha!’ laughed the honourable Mr Snobb, ‘very good, verygood.’

　　Rendered additionally witty by this applause, Sir MulberryHawk leered upon his friends most facetiously, and led Katedownstairs with an air of familiarity, which roused in her gentlebreast such burning indignation, as she felt it almost impossible torepress. Nor was the intensity of these feelings at all diminished,when she found herself placed at the top of the table, with SirMulberry Hawk and Lord Frederick Verisopht on either side.

　　‘Oh, you’ve found your way into our neighbourhood, have you?’

　　said Sir Mulberry as his lordship sat down.

　　‘Of course,’ replied Lord Frederick, fixing his eyes on MissNickleby, ‘how can you a-ask me?’

　　‘Well, you attend to your dinner,’ said Sir Mulberry, ‘and don’tmind Miss Nickleby and me, for we shall prove very indifferentcompany, I dare say.’

　　‘I wish you’d interfere here, Nickleby,’ said Lord Frederick.

　　‘What is the matter, my lord?’ demanded Ralph from thebottom of the table, where he was supported by Messrs Pyke andPluck.

　　‘This fellow, Hawk, is monopolising your niece,’ said LordFrederick.

　　 ‘He has a tolerable share of everything that you lay claim to, mylord,’ said Ralph with a sneer.

　　‘‘Gad, ............