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Chapter 42.
What did there remain to say?

He had made his confession, which, after all, was no confession, and she had stopped his mouth with pardon. His cry for new life had overcome every reluctance in her. Her delicate reserve, the instinct that restrained her, had no more power after that. She had stood no longer behind any barrier—at that touch she had thrown her heart wide open and taken him within.

“What more?” she said. “There can be no more.”

“Much more: and you were to hear all: not only the wretched folly into which I fled, to try if I could forget, but something meaner, nearer——something for which you will despise me. Oh, do not smile; it is past smiling for you and me—for you as well as me now, Oona. God forgive me that have tangled your life in mine!”

“What is it?” she said, giving him an open look of trust and confidence. “I am not afraid.”

He was. Far worse than the general avowal of sins which she did not understand was the avowal he had to make of something which she could understand. He perceived that it would wound her to the heart—He had no fear now that Oona would throw him off. She had put her hand into his, and was ready to pour the fresh and spotless stream of her life into his. It was no more possible for her to separate herself, to withdraw from him, whatever might happen. He perceived this with a keen pang of remorse, for the first time entering with all his heart into the soul of another, and understanding what it meant. She could not now turn her back upon him, go away from him; and he was about to give her a sharp, profound, intolerable wound.

“Oona,” he said, with great humility, “it occurred to-day. I cannot tell whether you will be able to see why I did it, or how I did it. This morning——” He paused here, feeling that the words hung in his throat and stifled him. “This morning—I went—and insulted Katie Williamson, and asked her—to marry me.”

She had been listening with her sweet look of pity and tenderness—sorry, sorry to the depths of her heart, for the evil he had done—sorry beyond tears; but yet ready with her pardon, and not afraid. At the name of Katie Williamson there came up over her clear face the shadow of a cloud—not more than the shadow. When such words as these are said they are not to be understood all at once. But they woke in her a startled curiosity—a strange surprise.

“This morning—it is still morning,” she said, bewildered; “and Katie——”

“Oona! you do not understand.”

“No. I do not quite—understand. What is it? This morning? And Katie——”

“I asked her this morning to join her land to my land and her money to my money: to be—my wife.”

She drew her hand slowly out of his, looking at him with eyes that grew larger as they gazed. For some time she could not say a word, but only got paler and paler, and looked at him.

“Then what place—have I?—what am—I?” she said, slowly. Afterwards a sudden flush lighted up her face. “She would not: and then you came—to me?” she said.

A faint smile of pain came to her mouth. Walter had seen that look very recently before—when he told his mother why it was that he had sent for her. Was he capable of giving nothing but pain to those he loved? If he had tried to explain or apologise, it is doubtful whether Oona’s faculties, so suddenly and strangely strained, could have borne it. But he said nothing. What was there to say?—the fact which he had thus avowed was beyond explanation. He met her eyes for a moment, then drooped his head. There was nothing—nothing to be said. It was true. He had gone to another woman first, and then, when that failed, as a last resource had come to her. The anguish was so sharp that it brought that smile. It was incredible in the midst of her happiness. Her heart seemed wrung and crushed in some gigantic grasp. She looked at him with wondering, incredulous misery.

“You thought then, I suppose,” she said, “that one—was as good as another?”

“I did not do that, Oona; it is, perhaps, impossible that you should understand. I told you—I had tried—every expedient: not daring to come to the one and only—the one, the only——”

She waved her hand as if putting this aside, and stood for a moment looking out vaguely upon the loch—upon the sheen of the water, the castle lying darkly in shadow, the banks stretching upward and downward in reflection. They had been glorified a moment since in the new union; now they were blurred over, and conveyed no meaning. Then she said drearily—

“My mother—will wonder why we do not come in—”

“May I speak to her—at once? Let me speak.”

“Oh no!” she cried. “Say nothing—nothing! I could not bear it.”

And then he seized upon her hand, the hand she had taken from him, and cried out—

“You are not going to forsake me, Oona! You will not cast me away?”

“I cannot,” she said very low, with her eyes upon the landscape, “I cannot!” Then, turning to him, “You have my word, and I have but one word: only everything is changed. Let us say no more of it just now. A little time—I must have a little time.”

And she turned and walked before him to the house. They went in silence, not a word passing between them. Mysie, startled, came out to the door to ascertain who it could be who were preceded by the sound of footsteps only, not of voices. It was “no canny,” she said. And to think this was Miss Oona, whose cheerful voice always came home before her to warn the house that its pride and joy was approaching! Mysie, confounded, went to open the door of the drawing-room that her mistress might be made to share her uneasiness.

“It will just be Miss Oona, mem, and my lord,” Mysie said, “but very down, as if something had happened and not saying a word.”

“Bless me!” cried Mrs. Forrester. Her heart naturally leapt to the only source of danger that could affect her deeply. “It is not a mail day, Mysie,” she said; “there can be no ill news.”

“The Lord be thanked for that!” Mysie said: and then stood aside to give admittance to those footsteps which came one after the other without any talking or cheerful note of sound. Mrs. Forrester rose to meet them with a certain anxiety, although her mind was at rest on the subject of the mails. It might be something wrong at Eaglescairn: it might be——

“Dear me! what is the matter, Oona? You are white, as if you had seen a ghost,” she said, with a more tangible reason for her alarm.

“I am quite well, mamma. Perhaps I may have seen a ghost—but nothing more,” she said with a half-laugh. “And here is Lord Erradeen whom we picked up, Hamish and I.”

“And Lord Erradeen, you are just very whitefaced too,” cried Mrs. Forrester. “Bless me, I hope you have not both taken a chill. That will sometimes happen when the winter is wearing on, and ye are tempted out on a fine morning with not enough of clothes. I have some cherry brandy in my private press, and I will just give you a little to bring back the blood to your cheeks: and come in to the fire. Dear me, Oona, do not shiver like that! and you not one that feels the cold. You have just taken a chill upon the water, though it is such a beautiful morning. And so you have got your mother with you, Lord Erradeen?”

“She came yesterday. She was so fortunate as to meet—Miss Forrester.”

It seemed to him a wrong against which he was ready to cry out to earth and heaven that he should have to call her by that formal name. He paused before he said it, and looked at her with passionate reproach in his eyes. And Oona saw the look, though her eyes were averted, and trembled, with what her mother took for cold.

“You may be sure Oona was very content to be of use: and I hope now you have got her you will keep her, Lord Erradeen. It will be fine for your house and the servants, and all, to have a lady at Auchnasheen. There has not been a lady since the last lord but one, who married the last of the Glen Oriel family, a person that brought a great deal of property with her. I remember her very well. They said she was not his first love, but she was a most creditable person, and well thought upon, and kind to the poor. We were saying to ourselves, Oona and me, that we would go up the loch to-morrow and call, if you are sure Mrs. Methven is rested from her journey, and will like to see such near neighbours.”

“But, mother—” Oona said.

“But what? There is no but, that I know of. You know that it was all settled between us. We thought to-day she would be tired, and want repose rather than company. But by to-morrow she would be rested, and willing to see what like persons we are in this place. That would be very natural. And I am proud Oona was in the way, to take her across the loch. People that come from flat countries where there is little water, they are sometimes a little timid of the loch, and in the dark too. But she will have got over all that by to-morrow, and to call will be a real pleasure. Did you mention, Oona, at Ellermore and other places that Mrs. Methven had arrived?—for everybody will be keen to see your............
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