As MADAME VESANT LEFT THE SCREEN Jubal Harshaw leaned backfrom his phone. .Front,“ he said.

　　.Okay, Boss,“ Miriam acknowledged.

　　.This is one for the .Real-Experiences’ group. Specify on the cover sheet thatI want the narrator to have a sexy contralto voice-.

　　.Maybe I should try out for it.“.Not that sexy. Shut up. Dig out that list of null surnames we got from theCensus Bureau, pick one and put an innocent, mammalian first name with it,for the pen name. A girl’s name ending in .a’-that always suggests a .C’ cup.“.Huh! And not one of us with a name ending in .a.’ Why, you louse!“.Flat-chests bunch, aren’t you? .Angela.’ Her name is .Angela.’ Title: .IMarried a Martian.’ Start: All my life I had longed to become an astronaut.

　　Paragraph. When I was just a tiny thing, with freckles on my nose and starsin my eyes, I saved box tops just as my brothers did-and cried when Mummywouldn’t let me wear my Space Cadet helmet to bed. Paragraph. In thosecarefree childhood days I did not dream to what strange, bittersweet fate mytomboy ambition would-.

　　.Boss!“.Yes, Dorcas?“.Here come two more loads.“Jubal got up from the telephone chair. .Hold for continuation. Miriam, sitdown at the phone.“ He went to the window, saw the two air cars Dorcas hadspotted, decided that they could be squad cars, and might be about to landon his property. .Larry, bolt the door to this room. Anne, put on your robe.

　　Watch them but stand back from the window; I want them to think the houseis empty. Jill, you stick close to Mike and don’t let him make any hastymoves. Mike, you do what Jill tells you to.“.Yes, Jubal. I will do.“.Jill, don’t turn him loose unless you have to. To keep one of us from beingshot, I mean. If they bust down doors, let them-I rather hope they do. Jill, if itcomes to scratch, I’d much rather he snatched just the guns and not themen.“.Yes, Jubal.“.Make sure he understands. This indiscriminate elimination of cops hasgot to stop.“.Telephone, Boss!“.Coming.“ Jubal went unhurriedly back to the phone. .All of you stay out ofpickup. Dorcas, you can take a nap. Miriam, note down another title for later:

　　.I Married a Human.’ . He slid into the seat as Miriam vacated it and said,.Yes?“A blandly handsome man looked back at him. .Doctor Harshaw?“.Yes.“.Please hold on. The Secretary General will speak with you.“ The toneimplied that a genuflection was in order.

　　.Okay.“The screen flickered, then rebuilt in the tousled image of His Excellency theHonorable Joseph Edgerton Douglas, Secretary General of the WorldFederation of Free Nations. .Dr. Harshaw? Understand you need to speakwith me. Shoot.“.No, sir.“.Eh? But I understood-.

　　.Let me rephrase it precisely, Mr. Secretary. You need to speak with me.“Douglas looked surprised, then grinned. .Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?

　　Well, Doctor, you have just ten seconds to prove that. I have other things todo.“.Very well, sir. I am attorney for the Man from Mars.“Douglas suddenly stopped looking tousled. .Repeat that.“.I am attorney for Valentine Michael Smith, known as the Man from Mars.

　　Attorney with full power. In fact, it may help to think of me as defactoAmbassador from Mars . . . in the spirit of the Larkin Decision, that is to say.“Douglas stared at him. .Man, you must be out of your mind!“.I’ve often thought so, lately. Nevertheless I am acting for the Man from Mars.

　　And he is prepared to negotiate.“.The Man from Mars is in Ecuador.“.Please, Mr. Secretary. This is a private conversation. He is not in Ecuador,as both of us know. Smith-the real Valentine Michael Smith, not the one whohas appeared in the newscasts-escaped from confinement-and, I should add,illegal confinement-at Bethesda Medical Center on Thursday last, incompany with Nurse Gillian Boardman. He kept his freedom and is now freeandhe will continue to keep it. If any of your large staff of assistants has toldyou anything else, then someone has been lying to you . . . which is why I amspeaking to you yourself. So that you can straighten it out.“Douglas looked very thoughtful. Someone apparently spoke to him from offscreen, but no words came over the telephone. At last he said, .Even if whatyou said were true, Doctor, you can’t be in a position to speak for youngSmith. He’s a ward of the State.“Jubal shook his head. .Impossible. The Larkin Decision.“.Now see here, as a lawyer myself, I assure you-.

　　.As a lawyer myself, I must follow my own opinion-and protect my client.“.You are a lawyer? I thought that you meant that you claimed to be attorneyin-fact, rather than counsellor.“.Both. You’ll find that I am an attorney at law, in good standing, and admittedto practice before the High Court. I don’t hang my shingle these days, but Iam.“ Jubal heard a dull boom from below and glanced aside. Larrywhispered, .The front door, I think. Boss- Shall Igo look?“Jubal shook his head in negation and spoke to the screen. .Mr. Secretary,while we quibble, time is running out. Even now your men-your S.S.

　　hooligans-are breaking into my house. It is most distasteful to be under siegein my own home. Now, for the first and last time, will you abate thisnuisance? So that we can negotiate peaceably and equitably? Or shall wefight it out in the High Court with all the stink and scandal that would ensue?“Again the Secretary appeared to speak with someone off screen. He turnedback, looking troubled. .Doctor, if the Special Service police are trying toarrest you, it is news to me. I do not see-.

　　.If you’ll listen closely, you’ll hear them tromping up my staircase, sir! Mike!

　　Anne! Come here.“ Jubal shoved his chair back to allow the camera angle toinclude three people. .Mr. Secretary General Douglas- the Man from Mars!“He did not, of course, introduce Anne, but she and her white cloak of probitywere fully in view.

　　Douglas stared at Smith; Smith looked back at him and seemed uneasy.

　　.Jubal-.

　　.Just a moment, Mike. Well, Mr. Secretary? Your men have broken into myhouse-I hear them pounding on my study door this moment.“ Jubal turned hishead. .Larry, unbolt the door. Let them in.“ He put a hand on Mike. .Don’t getexcited, lad, and don’t do anything unless I tell you to.“.Yes, Jubal. That man. I have know him.“.And he knows you.“ Over his shoulder Jubal called out to the now opendoor, .Come in, Sergeant. Right over here.“The S.S. sergeant standing in the doorway, mob gun at the ready, did notcome in. Instead he called out, .Major! Here they are!“Douglas said, .Let me speak to the officer in charge of them, Doctor.“ Againhe spoke off screen.

　　Jubal was relieved to see that the major for whom the sergeant had shoutedshowed up with his sidearm still in its holster; Mike’s shoulder had beentrembling under Jubal’s hand ever since the sergeant’s gun had come intoview-and, while Jubal lavished no fraternal love on these troopers, he did notwant Smith to display his powers . . . and cause awkward questions.

　　The major glanced around the room. .You’re Jubal Harshaw?“.Yes. Come over here. Your boss wants you.“.None of that. You come along. I’m also looking for-.

　　.Come here! The Secretary General himself wants a word with you- on thisphone.“The S.S. major looked startled, then came on into the study, around Jubal’sdesk, and in sight of the screen-looked at it, suddenly came smartly toattention and saluted. Douglas nodded. .Name, rank, and duty.“.Sir, Major C. D. Bloch, Special Service Squadron Cheerio, MarylandEnclave Barracks.“.Now tell me what you are doing where you are, and why.“.Sir, that’s rather complicated. I-.

　　.Then unravel it for me. Speak up, Major.“.Yes, sir. I came here pursuant to orders. You see-.

　　.I don’t see.“.Well, sir, about an hour and a half ago a flying squad was sent here to makeseveral arrests. They didn’t report in when they should have and when wecouldn’t raise them by radio, I was sent with the reserve squad to find themand render assistance as needed.“.Whose orders?“.Uh, the Commandant’s, sir.“.And did you find them?“.No, sir. Not a trace of them.“Douglas looked at Harshaw. .Counsellor, did you see anything of anothersquad, earlier?“.It’s no part of my duties to keep track of your servants, Mr. Secretary.

　　Perhaps they got the wrong address. Or simply got lost.“.That is hardly an answer to my question.“.You are correct, sir. I am not being interrogated. Nor will I be, other than bydue process. I am acting for my client; I am not nursemaid to theseuniformed, uh, persons. But I suggest, from what I have seen of them, thatthey might not be able to find a pig in a bath tub.“.Mmm ... possibly. Major, round up your men and return. I’ll confirm that viachannels.“.Yes, sir!“ The major saluted.

　　.Just a moment!“ Harshaw said sharply. .These men broke into my house. Idemand to see their warrant.“.Oh. Major, show him your search warrant.“Major Bloch turned brick red. .Sir, the officer ahead of me had the warrants.

　　Captain Heinrich. The one who’s missing.“Douglas stared at him. .Young man ... do you mean to stand there and tellme that you broke into a citizen’s home without a Warrant?“.But- Sir, you don’t understand! There was a warrant-there are warrants. Isaw them. But, of course, Captain Heinrich took them with him. Sir.“Douglas just looked at him. .Get on back. Place yourself under arrest whenyou get there. I’ll see you later.“.Yes, sir.“.Hold it,“ Harshaw demanded. .Under the circumstances I shan’t let himleave. I exercise my right to make a citizen’s arrest. I shall take him down andcharge him in this township and have him placed in our local lockup. .Armedbreaking and entering.’“Douglas blinked thoughtfully. .Is this necessary, sir?“.I think it is. These fellows seem to be awfully hard to find when you wantthem-so I don’t want to let this one leave our local jurisdiction. Why, asidefrom the serious criminal charges, I haven’t even had opportunity to assessthe damage to my property.“.You have my assurance, sir, that you will be fully compensated.“.Thank you, sir. But what is to prevent another uniformed joker from comingalong twenty minutes from now, perhaps this time with a warrant? Why, hewouldn’t even need to break down the door! My castle stands violated, opento any intruder. Mr. Secretary, only the few precious moments of delayafforded by my Once-stout door kept this scoundrel from dragging me awaybefore I could reach you by telephone . . . and you heard him say that therewas still another like him at large-with, so he says, warrants.“.Doctor, I assure you that I know nothing of any such warrant.“.Warrants, sir. He said .warrants for several arrests.’ Though perhaps a betterterm would be .lettres de cachet.’“.That’s a serious imputation.“.This is a serious matter. You see what has already been done to me.“.Doctor, I know nothing of these warrants, if they exist. But I give you mypersonal assurance that I will look into it at once, find Out why they wereissued, and act as the merits of the matter may appear. Can I say more?“.You can say a great deal more, sir. I can reconstruct exactly why thosewarrants were issued. Some one in your service, in an excess of zeal,caused a pliant judge to issue them . . . for the purpose of seizing thepersons of myself and my guests in order to question us, safely out of yoursight. Out of anyone’s sight, sir! We will discuss all issues with you but we willnot be questioned by such as this creature-. Jubal hooked a thumb at theS.S. major .-in some windowless back room! Sir, I hope for, and expect,justice at your hands . . . but if those warrants are not canceled at once, if Iam not assured by you personally beyond any possibility of quibble that theMan from Mars, Nurse Boardman, and myself will be left undisturbed in ourpersons, free to come and go, then-. Jubal stopped and shrugged helplessly.

　　.-I must seek a champion elsewhere. There are, as you know, persons andpowers outside the administration who hold deep interest in the affairs of theMan from Mars.“.You threaten me.“.No, sir. I plead with you. I have come to you first. We wish to negotiate. Butwe cannot speak easily while we are being hounded. I beg of you, sir-call offyour dogs!“Douglas glanced down, looked up again. .Those warrants, if any, will not beserved. As soon as I. can track them down they will be canceled.“.Thank you, sir.“Douglas glanced at Major Bloch. .You still insist on booking him locally?“Jubal looked at him contemptuously. .Him? Oh, let him go, he’s merely a foolin uniform. And let’s forget the damages, too. You and I have more seriousmatters to discuss.“.You may go, Major.“ The S.S. officer saluted and left very abruptly. Douglascontinued, .Counsellor, it is my thought that we now need conversations faceto face. The matters you raise can hardly be settled over the telephone.“.I agree.“.You and your, uh, client will be my guests at the Palace. I’ll send my yacht topick you up. Can you be ready in an hour?“Harshaw shook his head. .Thank you, Mr. Secretary. But that won’t benecessary. We’ll sleep here . . . and when it comes time to meet I’ll dig up adog sled, or something. No need to send your yacht.“Mr. Douglas frowned. .Come, Doctor! As you yourself pointed out, theseconversations will be quasi-diplomatic in nature. In proffering proper protocolI have, in effect, conceded this. Therefore I must be allowed to provide officialhospitality.“.Well, sir, I might point out that my client has had entirely too much officialhospitality already-he had the Devil’s own time getting shut of it.“Douglas’ face became rigid. .Sir, are you implying-.

　　.I’m not implying anything. I’m simply saying that Smith has been throughquite a lot and is not used to high-level ceremony. He’ll sleep sounder here,where he feels at home. And so shall I. I am a crochety old man, sir, and Iprefer my own bed. Or I might point out that our talks may break down andmy client and I would be forced to look elsewhere-in which case I would findit embarrassing to be a guest under your roof.“The Secretary General looked very grim. .Threats again. I thought youtrusted me, sir? And I distinctly heard you say that you were .ready tonegotiate.’“.I do trust you, sir.“ (-about as far as I could throw a fit!) .And we are indeedready to negotiate. But I use .negotiate’ in its original sense, not in this new-fangled meaning of .appeasement.’ However, we intend to be reasonable.

　　But we can’t start talks at once in any case; we’re shy one factor and wemust wait. How long, I don’t know.“.What do you mean?“.We expect the administration to be represented at these talks by whateverdelegation you choose-and we have the same privilege.“.Surely. But let’s keep it small. I shall handle this myself, with only anassistant or two. The Solicitor General, I think . . . and our experts in spacelaw. But to transact business you require a small group-the smaller thebetter.“.Most certainly. Our group will be small Smith himself-myself-I’ll bring aFair Witness-.

　　.Oh, come now!“.A Witness does not slow things up. I suggest you retain one also. We’ll haveone or two others perhaps-but we lack one key man. I have firm instructionsfrom my client that a fellow named Ben Caxton must be present . . . and Ican’t find the beggar.“Jubal, having spent hours of most complex maneuvering in order to toss inthis one remark, now waited with his best poker face to see what wouldhappen. Douglas stared at him. 0 .Ben Caxton?’ Surely you don’t mean thatcheap winchell?“.The Ben Caxton I refer to is a newspaperman. He has a column with oneof the syndicates.“.Absolutely out of the question!“Harshaw shook his head. .Then that’s all, Mr. Secretary. My instructions arefirm and give me no leeway. I’m sorry to have wasted your time. I beg to beexcused now.“ He reached out as if to switch off the phone.

　　.Hold it.“.Sir?“.Don’t cut that circuit; I’m not through speaking to you!“.I most humbly beg the Secretary General’s pardon. We will, of course, waituntil he excuses us.“.Yes, yes, but never mind the formality. Doctor, do you read the tripe thatcomes out of this Capitol labeled as news?“.Good Heavens, not“.I wish I didn’t have to. It’s preposterous to talk about having a journalistpresent at these talks in any case. We’ll let them in later, after everything issettled. But even if we were to have any of them present, Caxton would notbe one of them. The man is utterly poisonous . . . a keyhole sniffer of theworst sort.“.Mr. Secretary, we have no objection to the full glare of publicity throughout.

　　In fact, we shall insist on it.“.Ridiculous!“.Possibly. But I serve my client as I think best. If we reach agreementaffecting the Man from Mars and the planet which is his home, I want everyperson on this planet to have opportunity to know exactly how it was doneand what was agreed. Contrariwise, if we fail to agree, people must hear howand where the talks broke down. There will be no star chamber proceedings,Mr. Secretary.“.Damn it, man, I wasn’t speaking of a star chamber and you know it! I simplymeant quiet, orderly talks without our elbows being jostled!“.Then let the press in, sir, through their cameras and microphones but withtheir feet and elbows outside. Which reminds me-we will be interviewed, myclient and I, over one of the networks later today-and I shall announce thatwe want full publicity on these coming talks.“.What? You mustn’t give out interviews now-why, that’s contrary to the wholespirit of this discussion.“.I can’t see that it is. We won’t discuss this private conversation, of coursebutare you suggesting that a private citizen must have your permission tospeak to the press?“.No, of course not, but-.

　　.I’m afraid it’s too late, in any case. The arrangements have all been madeand the only way you could stop it now would be by sending more carloads ofyour thugs-with or without warrants. But I’m afraid they would be too late,even so. My only reason for mentioning it is that it occurs to me that youmight wish to give out a news release-in advance of this coming interviewtellingthe public that the Man from Mars has returned from his retreat in theAndes . . . and is now vacationing in the Poconos. So as to avoid anypossible appearance that the government was taken by surprise. You followme?“.I follow you-quite well.“ The Secretary General stared silently at Harshaw forseveral moments, then said, .Please wait.“ He left the screen entirely.

　　Harshaw motioned Larry to him while he reached up with his other hand andcovered the telephone’s sound pickup. .Look, son,“ he whispered, .with thattransceiver out I’m bluffing on a busted flush. I don’t know whether he’s left toissue that news release I suggested . . . or has gone to set the dogs on usagain while he keeps me tied up on the phone. And I won’t know, either way.

　　You high tail it out of here, get Tom Mackenzie on the phone, and tell himthat if be doesn’t get the setup here working at once, he’s going to miss thebiggest story since the Fall of Troy. Then be careful coming home-there maybe cops crawling out of the cracks.“.Got it. But how do I call Mackenzie?“.Uh-. Douglas was just sitting back down on screen. .Speak to Miriam.

　　Git.“.Dr. Harshaw, I took your suggestion. A news release much as you worded it. . . plus a few substantiating details.“ Douglas smiled warmly in a goodsimulation of his homespun public persona. .And there is no use in halfmeasures. I can see that, if you insist on publicity, there is no way to stopyou, foolish as it is to hold exploratory talks in public. So I added to therelease that the administration had arranged to discuss future interplanetaryrelations with the Man from Mars-as soon as he had rested from his trip-andwould do so publicly . . . quite publicly.“ His smile became chilly and hestopped looking like good old Joe Douglas.

　　Harshaw grinned jovially, in honest admiration-why, the old thief hadmanaged to roll with the punch and turn a defeat into a coup for theadministration. .That’s just perfect, Mr. Secretary! Much better if such matterscome officially from the government. We’ll back you right down the line!“.Thank you. Now about this Caxton person- Letting the press in does notapply to him. He can Sit at home, watch it over stereovision, and make up hislies from that-and no doubt he will. But he will not be present at the talks. I’msorry. No.“.Then there will be no talks. Mr. Secretary, no matter what you have toldthe press.“.I don’t believe you understand me, Counsellor. This man is offensive to me.

　　Personal privilege.“.You are correct, sir. It is a matter of personal privilege.“.Then we’ll say no more about it.“.You misunderstand me. It is indeed personal privilege. But not yours.

　　Smith’s.“.You are privileged to select your advisers to be present at these talks -andyou can fetch the Devil himself and we shall not complain. Smith is privilegedto select his advisers and have them present. If Caxton is not present, we willnot be there. In fact, you will find us across the street, at some quite differentconference. One where you won’t be welcome, Even if you speak fluentHindi. Now do you understand me?“There was a long silence, during which Harshaw thought clinically that a manof Douglas’ age really should not indulge in such evident rage. Douglas didnot leave the screen but he consulted offscreen and silently. At last hespoke-to the Man from Mars.

　　Mike had stayed on screen the whole time, as silently and at least aspatiently as the Witness. Douglas said to him, .Smith, why do you insist onthis ridiculous condition?“Harshaw put a hand on Mike and said instantly, .Don’t answer, Mike!“ -thento Douglas: .Tut, tut, Mr. Secretary! The Canons, please! You may notinquire why my client has instructed me. And let me add that the Canons areviolated with exceptional grievance in that my client has but lately learnedEnglish and cannot be expected to hold his own against you. If you will firsttake the trouble to learn Martian, I may permit you to put the question again .

　　. . in his language. Or I may not. But certainly not today.“Douglas sighed. .Very well. It might be pertinent to inquire into what Canonsyou have played fast and loose with, too-but I haven’t time; I have agovernment to run. I yield. But don’t expect me to shake hands with thisCaxton!“.As you wish, sir. Now back to the first point. We are held up. I haven’t beenable to find Caxton. His office says that he is out of town.“Douglas laughed. .That’s hardly my problem. You insisted on a privilege-oneI find personally offensive. Bring whom you like. But round them up yourself.“.Reasonable, sir, very reasonable. But would you be willing to do the Manfrom Mars a favor?“.Eh? What favor?“.The talks will not begin until Caxton is located-that is flat and is not subjectto argument. But I have not been able to find him . . . and my client is gettingrestive. I am merely a private citizen . . . but you have resources.“.What do you mean?“.Some minutes ago I spoke rather disparagingly of the Special Servicesquadrons-check it off to the not unnatural irk of a man who has just had hisfront door broken down. But in truth I know that they can be amazinglyefficient . . . and they have the ready cooperation of police forceseverywhere, local, state, national, and all Federation departments andbureaus. Mr. Secretary, if you were to call in your S.S. Commandant and tellhim that you were anxious to locate a certain man as quickly as was humanlypossible-well, sir, it would produce more meaningful activity in the next hourthan I myself could hope to produce in a century.“.Why on Earth should I alert all police forces everywhere to find one scandalmongeringreporter?“.Not .on Earth,’ my dear sir-on Mars. I asked you to regard this as a favor tothe Man from Mars.“.Well ...it’s a preposterous request but I’ll go along.“ Douglas looked directlyat Mike. .As a favor to Smith, only. But I shall expect similar cooperationwhen we get down to cases.“.You have my assurance that it will ease the situation enormously.“.Well, I can’t promise anything. You say the man is missing. If he is, he mayhave fallen in front of a truck; he may be dead-and I, for one, would notmourn.“Harshaw looked very grave. .Let us hope not, for all of our sakes.“.Oh, I shall!“ Jill let go of Harshaw, put her arms around the Man from Mars.

　　.Such wonderful lies, Jubal!“ She kissed Mike.

　　.Son,“ he said, .you continue to amaze me. I would have expected that tocause you to curl up in one of your faints.“.I so did,“ Mike answered seriously, without letting go of Jill, .on the firstkissing time.“.Well! Congratulations, Jill. A.C., or D.C.?“She looked at Harshaw. .Jubal, you’re a tease but I love you anyhow andrefuse to let you get my goat. Mike got a little upset once-but no longer, asyou can see.“.Yes,“ Mike agreed, .it is a goodness. For water brothers it is a growingcloser.

　　I will show you. Yes?“ He let go of Jill.

　　Jubal hastily put up a palm. .No.“.No?“.Don’t be hurt. But you would be disappointed, son. It’s a growingcloser forwater brothers only if they are young girls and pretty-such as Jill.“.What do you mean?“.I’ve tried to point out that sad possibility to my client-but it is like shoutinginto the wind. He simply won’t listen to the idea.“ Harshaw sighed. .Ashambles, sir. If we can’t find this Caxton, that is what we will both have onour bands: a shambles.“.Well, I’ll try. But don’t expect miracles, Doctor.“.Not I, sir. My client. He has the Martian viewpoint ... and he does expectmiracles. So let’s pray for one.“.You’ll hear from me. That’s all I can say.“Hars............