IXTHE THIRD PLANET OUT from Sol was in its normal condition. It had on it230,000 more human souls today than yesterday, but, among the five billionterrestrials such a minute increase was not noticeable. The Kingdom ofSouth Africa, Federation associate member, had again been cited before theHigh Court for persecution of its white minority. The lords of women’sfashions, gathered in solemn conclave in Rio, had decreed that hem lineswould go down and that navels would again be covered. The threeFederation defense stations swung silently in the sky, promising instant deathto any who disturbed the planet’s peace. Commercial space stations swungnot so silently, disturbing the planet’s peace with endless clamor of thevirtues of endless trademarked trade goods. Half a million more mobilehomes had set down on the shores of Hudson Bay than had migrated by thesame date last year, the Chinese rice belt had been declared an emergencymalnutrition area by the Federation Assembly, and Cynthia Duchess, knownas the Richest Girl in the World, had dismissed and paid off her sixthhusband. All was normal.
The Reverend Doctor Daniel Digby, Supreme Bishop of the Church of theNew Revelation (Fosterite) had announced that he had nominated the AngelAzreel to guide Federation Senator Thomas Boone and that he expectedHeavenly confirmation of his choice some time today; all the news servicescarried the announcement as straight news, the Fosterites having wreckedtoo many newspaper offices in the past. Mr. and Mrs. Harrison Campbell VIhad a son and heir by host-mother at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital while thehappy parents were vacationing in Peru. Dr. Horace Quackenbush, Professorof Leisure Arts at Yale Divinity School, issued a stirring call for a return tofaith and a cultivation of spiritual values; there was a betting scandalinvolving half the permanent professionals of the West Point football squadand its line coach; three bacterial warfare chemists were suspended atToronto for presumption of emotional instability-all three announced that theywould carry their cases, if necessary, to the Federation High Court. The HighCourt upset a ruling of the Supreme Court of the United States in re eligibilityto vote in primaries involving Federation Assemblymen in the case ofReinsberg vs. the State of Missouri.
His Excellency, the Most Honorable Joseph E. Douglas, Secretary General ofthe World Federation of Free States, picked at his breakfast omelet andwondered peevishly why a man could not get a decent cup of coffee thesedays. In front of him his morning newspaper, prepared by the night shift of hisinformation staff, moved past his eyes at his optimum reading speed in afeedback executive scanner, custom-built by Sperry. The words would flowon as long as he looked in that direction; if he turned his head, the machinewould note it and stop instantly.
He was looking that way now and the projected print moved along thescreen, but he was not really reading but simply avoiding the eyes of his bossacross the table. Mrs. Douglas did not read newspapers; she had other waysof finding Out what she needed to know.
.Joseph-.
He looked up and the machine stopped. .Yes, my dear?“.You have something on your mind“.Eh? What makes you say that, my dear?“.Joseph, I haven’t watched you and coddled you and darned your socks andkept you Out of trouble for thirty-five years for nothing. I know when there issomething on your mind.“The hell of it is, he admitted to himself, she does know. He looked at her andwondered why he had ever let her bully him into no-termination contract.
Originally she had been only his secretary, back in the days (he thought ofthem as .The Good Old Days“) when he had been a state legislator, beatingthe bushes for individual votes. Their first contract had been a simple ninetydaycohabitation agreement, supposedly to economize scarce campaignfunds by saving on hotel bills; both of them had agreed that it was merely aconvenience, with .cohabitation“ to be construed simply as living under oneroof . . . and she hadn’t darned his socks even then!
He tried to remember how and when the situation had changed. Mrs.
Douglas’s official biography, Shadow of Greatness: One Woman’s Story,stated that he had proposed to her during the counting of ballots in his firstelection to office-and that such was his romantic need that nothing would dobut old-fashioned, death-do-us-part marriage.
Well, he didn’t remember it that way-but there was no use arguing withthe official version.
.Joseph! Answer me!“.Eh? Nothing at all, my dear. I spent a restless night.“.I know you did. When they wake you up in the middle of the night, don’t youthink I know it?“He reflected that her suite was a good fifty yards across the palace from his.
.How do you know it, my dear?“.Hunh? Woman’s intuition, of course. What was the message Bradleybrought you?“.Please, my dear-I’ve got to finish the morning news before the Councilmeeting.“.Joseph Edgerton Douglas, don’t try to evade me.“He sighed. .The fact is, we’ve lost sight of that beggar Smith.“.Smith? Do you mean the Man from Mars? What do you mean: .-lost sight of-?’ That’s ridiculous.“.Be that as it may, my dear, he’s gone. He disappeared from his hospitalroom sometime late yesterday.“.Preposterous! How could he do that?“.Disguised as a nurse, apparently. We aren’t sure.“.But- Never mind. He’s gone, that’s the main thing. What muddleheadedscheme are you using to get him back?“.Well, we have some of our own people searching for him. Trusted ones, ofcourse. Berquist-.
.Berquist! That garbage head! When you should have every police officerfrom the FDS down to precinct truant officers searching for him you sendBerquist!“.But, my dear, you don’t see the situation. We can .t. Officially he isn’t lost atall. You see there’s—well, the other chap. The, uh, .official’ Man from Mars,“.Oh ...“ She drummed the table. .I told you that substitution scheme wouldget us in trouble.“.But, my dear, you suggested it yourself.“.I did not. And don’t contradict me, Mmm ... send for Berquist. I musttalk to him at once.“.Uh, Berquist is out on his trail. He hasn’t reported back yet.“.Uh? Berquist is probably half way to Zanzibar by now. He’s sold us out, Inever did trust that man. I told you when you hired him that-.
.When I hired him?“.Don’t interrupt. -that any man who would take money two ways would take itthree ways just as quickly.“ She frowned. .Joseph, the Eastern Coalition Isbehind this. It’s a logical certainty. You can expect a vote-of-confidence movein the Assembly before the day is out.“.Eli? I don’t see why. Nobody knows about it.“.Oh, for Heaven’s sake! Everyone will know about it; the Eastern Coalitionwill see to that. Now keep quiet and let me think.“ Douglas shut up and wentback to his newspaper. He read that the Los Angeles City-County Councilhad voted to petition the Federation for aid in their smog problems on thegrounds the Ministry of Health had failed to provide something or other, it didnot matter what_-but a sop must be thrown to them as Charlie was going tohave a difficult time being re-elected with the Fosterites running their owncandidate-he needed Charlie. Lunar Enterprises was off two points atclosing, probably, he decided, because of- .Joseph.“.Yes, my dear?“.Our own .Man from Mars’ is the one and only; the one the Eastern Coalitionwill pop up with is a fake. That is how it must be.“.But, my dear, we can’t make it stick.“.What do you mean, we can’t? We’re stuck with it, so we’ve got to make itstick.“.But we can .t. Scientists would spot the substitution at once. I’ve had thedevil’s own time keeping them away from him this long.“.Scientists!“.But they can, you know.“.I don’t know anything of the sort. Scientists indeed! Half guess work and halfsheet superStit~0fl. They ought to be locked up; they ought to be prohibitedby law. Joseph, I’ve told you repeatedly the only true science is astrology.“.Well, I don’t know, my dear. Mind you, I’m not running down astrology-.
.You’d better not! After all it’s done for you.“.-but I am saying that some of these science professors are pretty sharp.
One of them was telling me the other day that there is a star that weighs sixthousand times as much as lead. Or was it sixty thousand? Let me see-.
.Bosh! How could they possibly know a thing like that? Keep quiet, Joseph,while I finish this. We admit nothing. Their man is a fake. But in the meantimewe make full use of our Special Service squads and grab him back, ifpossible~ before the Eastern Coalition makes its disclosure. If it is necessaryto use strong measures and this Smith person gets shot resisting arrest, orsomething like that, well, it’s too bad, but I for one won’t mourn very long.
He’s been a nuisance all along.“.Agnes! Do you know what you are suggesting?“.I’m not suggesting anything. People get hurt every day. This matter must becleared up, Joseph, for everybody. The greatest good of the greatestnumber, as you are so fond of quoting.“.But I don’t want to see the lad hurt.“.Who said anything about hurting him? But you must take firm steps, Joseph;it’s your duty. History will justify you. Which is more important? -to keepthings running on an even keel for five billion people, or to go soft andsentimental about one man who isn’t even properly a citizen?“Douglas didn’t answer. Mrs. Douglas stood up. .Well, I can’t waste the rest ofthe morning arguing intangibles with you, Joseph; I’ve got to get hold ofMadame Vesant at once and have a new horoscope cast for this emergency.
But I can tell you this: I didn’t give the best years of my life putting you whereyou are today just to have you throw it away through lack of backbone. Wipethe egg off your chin.“ She turned and left.
The chief executive of the planet remained at the table through two morecups of coffee before he felt up to going to the Council Chamber. Poor oldAgnes! So ambitious. He guessed he had been quite a disappointment to her. . . and no doubt the change of life wasn’t making things any easier for her.
Well, at least she was loyal, right to her toes . . . and we all have our5hortcomingS; she was probably as sick of him as he-no point in that!
He straightened up. One damn sure thing! He wasn’t going to let them herough with that Smith lad. He was a nuisance, granted~ but he was a nice ladand rather appealing in a helpless, half-witted way. Agnes should have seenhow easily he was frightened, then she wouldn’t talk that way. Smith wouldappeal to the maternal in her.
But as a matter of strict fact, did Agnes have any .maternal“ in her? Whenshe set her mouth that way, it was hard to see it. Oh shucks, all women hadmaternal instincts; science had proved that. Well, hadn’t they?
Anyhow, damn her guts, he wasn’t going to let her push him around. Shekept reminding him that she had put him into the top spot, but he knew better,and the responsibility was his and his alone. He got up, squared hisshoulders, pulled in part of his middle, and went to the Council Chamber.
All during the long session he kept expecting someone to drop the othershoe. But no one did and no aide came in with any message for him. He wasforced to conclude that the fact that Smith was missing actually was closeheld in his own personal staff unlikely as that seemed.
The Secretary General wanted very badly to close his eyes and hope that thewhole horrid mess would go away, but events would not let him. Nor wouldhis wife let him.
Agnes Douglas’ personal saint, by choice, was Evita Peron, whom shefancied she resembled. Her own persona, the mask that she held out to theworld, was that of helper and satellite to the great man she was privileged tocall husband. She even held this mask up to herself, for she had the RedQueen’s convenient ability to believe anything she wished to believe.
Nevertheless, her own political philosophy could have been stated baldly(which it never was) as a belief that men should rule the world and womenshould rule men.
That all of her beliefs and actions derived from a blind anger at a fate thathad made her female never crossed her mind . . . still less could she havebelieved that there was any connection between her behavior and herfather’s wish for a son . . or her own jealousy of her mother. Such evilthoughts never entered her head. She loved her parents and had freshflowers put on their graves on all appropriate occasions; she loved herhusband and often said so publicly; she was proud of her womanhood andsaid so publicly almost as often-P—she frequently joined the two assertions.
Agnes Douglas did not wait for her husband to act in the case of the missingMan from Mars. All of her husband’s personal staff took orders as readilyfrom her as from him . . . in some cases, even more readily. She sent for thechief executive assistant for civil information, as Mr. Douglas’s press agentwas called, then turned her attention to the most urgent emergency measure,that of getting a fresh horoscope cast. There was a private, scrambled linkfrom her suite in the Palace to Madame Vesant’s studio; the astrologer’splump, bland features and shrewd eyes came on the screen almost at ............