FOURTH Month, 1760. -- Having for some time past felt a sympathy in my mindwith Friends eastward, I opened my concern in our Monthly Meeting, and,obtaining a certificate, set forward on the 17th of this month, in company withmy beloved friend Samuel Eastburn. We had meetings at Woodbridge, Rahway, andPlainfield, and were at their Monthly Meeting of ministers and elders inRahway. We laboured under some discouragement, but through the invisible powerof truth our visit was made reviving to the lowly-minded, with whom I felt anear unity of spirit, being much reduced in my mind. We passed on and visitedmost of the meetings on Long Island. It was my concern from day to day, to sayneither more nor less than what the Spirit of truth opened in me, being jealousover myself lest I should say anything to make my testimony look agreeable tothat mind in people which is not in pure obedience to the cross of Christ.
The spring of the ministry was often low, and through the subjecting power oftruth we were kept low with it; from place to place they whose hearts weretruly concerned for the cause of Christ appeared to be comforted in ourlabours, and though it was in general a time of abasement of the creature, yet,through His goodness who is a helper of the poor, we had some truly edifyingseasons both in meetings and in families where we tarried. Sometimes we foundstrength to labour earnestly with the unfaithful, especially with those whosestation in families or in the Society was such that their example had apowerful tendency to open the way for others to go aside from the purity andsoundness of the blessed truth.
At Jericho, on Long Island, I wrote home as follows: -24th of the Fourth Month, 1760.
DEARLY BELOVED WIFE, -- We are favoured with health; have been at sundrymeetings in East Jersey and on this island. My mind hath been much in aninward, watchful frame since I left thee, greatly desiring that our proceedingsmay be singly in the will of our Heavenly Father.
As the present appearance of things is not joyous, I have been much shut upfrom outward cheerfulness, remembering that promise, "Then shalt thou delightthyself in the Lord"; as this from day to day has been revived in my memory, Ihave considered that His internal presence in our minds is a delight of allothers the most pure, and that the honest-hearted not only delight in this, butin the effect of it upon them. He regards the helpless and distressed, andreveals His love to His children under affliction, who delight in beholding Hisbenevolence, and in feeling divine charity moving in them. Of this I may speaka little, for, though since I left you I have often an engaging love andaffection towards thee and my daughter and friends about home, and going out atthis time, when sickness is so great amongst you, is a trial upon me; yet Ioften remember there are many widows and fatherless, many who have poor tutors,many who have evil examples before them, and many whose minds are in captivity;for whose sake my heart is at times moved with compassion, so that I feel mymind resigned to leave you for a season, to exercise that gift which the Lordhath bestowed on me, which though small compared with some, yet in this Irejoice that I feel love unfeigned towards my fellow-creatures. I recommend youto the Almighty, who, I trust, cares for you, and under a sense of His heavenlylove remain,Thy loving husband, J. W.
We crossed from the east end of Long Island to New London, about thirtymiles, in a large open boat; while we were out, the wind rising high, the wavesseveral times beat over us, so that to me it appeared dangerous, but my mindwas at that time turned to Him who made and governs the deep, and my life wasresigned to Him; as He was mercifully pleased to preserve us, I had freshoccasion to consider every day as a day lent to me, and felt a renewedengagement to devote my time, and all I had, to Him who gave it.
We had five meetings in Narraganset, and went thence to Newport on RhodeIsland. Our gracious Father preserved us in an humble dependence on Him throughdeep exercises that were mortifying to the creaturely will. In several familiesin the country where we lodged, I felt an engagement on my mind to have aconference with them in private, concerning their slaves; and through divineaid I was favoured to give up thereto. Though in this concern I differ frommany whose service in travelling is, I believe, greater than mine, yet I do notthink hardly of them for omitting it; I do not repine at having so unpleasant atask assigned me, but look with awfulness to Him who appoints to His servantstheir respective employments, and is good to all who serve Him sincerely.
We got to Newport in the evening, and on the next day visited two sickpersons, with whom we had comfortable sittings, and in the afternoon attended the burial of a Friend. The next day we were at meetings at Newport, in theforenoon and afternoon; the spring of the ministry was opened, and strength wasgiven to declare the Word of Life to the people.
The day following we went on our journey, but the great number of slaves inthese parts, and the continuance of that trade from thence to Guinea, made adeep impression on me, and my cries were often put up to my Heavenly Father insecret, that He would enable me to discharge my duty faithfully in such way asHe might be pleased to point out to me.
We took Swansea, Freetown, and Taunton in our way to Boston, where also wehad a meeting; our exercise was deep, and the love of truth prevailed, forwhich I bless the Lord. We went eastward about eighty miles beyond Boston,taking meetings, and were in a good degree preserved in an humble dependence onthat arm which drew us out; and though we had some hard labour with thedisobedient, by laying things home and close to such as were stout against thetruth, yet through the goodness of God we had at times to partake of heavenlycomfort with those who were meek, and were often favoured to part with Friendsin the nearness of true gospel fellowship. We returned to Boston and hadanother comfortable opportunity with Friends there, and thence rode back aday's journey eastward of Boston. Our guide being a heavy man, and the weatherhot, my companion and I expressed our freedom to go on without him, to which heconsented, and we respectfully took our leave of him; this we did as believingthe journey would have been hard to him and his horse.
In visiting the meetings in those parts we were measurably baptized into afeeling of the state of the Society, and in bowedness of spirit went to theYearly Meeting at Newport, where we met with John Storer from England,Elizabeth Shipley, Ann Gaunt, Hannah Foster, and Mercy Redman, from our parts,all ministers of the gospel, of whose company I was glad. Understanding that alarge number of slaves had been imported from Africa into that town, and werethen on sale by a member of our Society, my appetite failed, and I grewoutwardly weak, and had a feeling of the condition of Habakkuk, as thusexpressed: "When I heard, my belly trembled, my lips quivered, I trembled inmyself, that I might rest in the day of trouble." I had many cogitations, andwas sorely distressed. I was desirous that Friends might petition theLegislature to use their endeavours to discourage the future importation ofslaves, for I saw that this trade was a great evil, and tended to multiplytroubles, and to bring distresses on the people for whose welfare my heart wasdeeply concerned. But I perceived several difficulties in regard topetitioning, and such was the exercise of my mind that I thought ofendeavouring to get an opportunity to speak a few words in the House ofAssembly then sitting in town.
This exercise came upon me in the afternoon on the second day of the YearlyMeeting, and on going to bed I got no sleep till my mind was wholly resignedthereto. In the morning I inquired of a Friend how long the Assembly was likelyto continue sitting, who told me it was expected to be prorogued that day orthe next. As I was desirous to attend the business of the meeting, andperceived the Assembly was likely to separate before the business was over,after considerable exercise, humbly seeking to the Lord for instruction, mymind settled to attend on the business of the meeting; on the last day of whichI had prepared a short essay of a petition to be presented to the Legislature,if way opened. And being informed that there were some appointed by that YearlyMeeting to speak with those in authority on cases relating to the Society, Iopened my mind to several of them, and showed them the essay I had made, andafterwards I opened the case in the meeting for business, in substance asfollows: -I have been under a concern for some time on account of the great number ofslaves which are imported into this colony. I am aware that it is a tenderpoint to speak to, but apprehend I am not clear in the sight of Heaven withoutdoing so. I have prepared an essay of a petition to be presented to theLegislature, if way open; and what I have to propose to this meeting is thatsome Friends may be named to withdraw and look over it, and report whether theybelieve it suitable to be read in the meeting. If they should think well ofreading it, it will remain for the meeting to consider whether to take anyfurther notice of it, as a meeting, or not.
After a short conference some Friends went out, and, looking over it,expressed their willingness to have it read, which being done, many expressedtheir unity with the proposal, and some signified that to have the subjects ofthe petition enlarged upon, and signed out of meeting by such as were free,would be more suitable than to do it there. Though I expected at first that ifit was done it would be in that way, yet such was the exercise of my mind thatto move it in the hearing of Friends when assembled appeared to me as a duty,for my heart yearned towards the inhabitants of these parts, believing that bythis trade there had been an increase of inquietude amongst them, and way hadbeen made for the spreading of a spirit opposite to that meekness and humilitywhich is a sure resting-place for the soul; and that the continuance of thistrade would not only render their healing more difficult, but would increasetheir malady.
Having proceeded thus far, I felt easy to leave the essay amongst Friends,for them to proceed in it as they believed best. And now an exercise revived inmy mind in relation to lotteries, which were common in those parts. I hadmentioned the subject in a former sitting of this meeting, when arguments were used in favour of Friends being held excused who were only concerned in suchlotteries as were agreeable to law. And now, on moving it again, it was opposedas before; but the hearts of some solid Friends appeared to be united todiscourage the practice amongst their members, and the matter was zealouslyhandled by some on both sides. In this debate it appeared very clear to me thatthe spirit of lotteries was a spirit of selfishness, which tended to confuseand darken the understanding, and that pleading for it in our meetings, whichwere set apart for the Lord's work, was not right. In the heat of zeal, I madereply to what an ancient Friend said, and when I sat down I saw that my wordswere not enough seasoned with charity. After this I spoke no more on thesubject. At length a minute was made, a copy of which was to be sent to theirseveral Quarterly Meetings, inciting Friends to labour to discourage thepractice amongst all professing with us.
Some time after this minute was made I remained uneasy with the manner of myspeaking to the ancient Friend, and could not see my way clear to conceal myuneasiness, though I was concerned that I might say nothing to weaken the causein which I had laboured. After some close exercise and hearty repentence fornot having attended closely to the safe guide, I stood up, and, reciting thepassage, acquainted Friends that though I durst not go from what I had said asto the matter, yet I was uneasy with the manner of my speaking, believingmilder language would have been better. As this was uttered in some degree ofcreaturely abasement after a warm debate, it appeared to have a good savouramongst us.
The Yearly Meeting being now over, there yet remained on my mind a secretthough heavy exercise, in regard to some leading active members about Newport,who were in the practice of keeping slaves. This I mentioned to two ancientFriends who came out of the country, and proposed to them, if way opened, tohave some conversation with those members. One of them and I, having consultedone of the most noted elders who had slaves, he, in a respectful manner,encouraged me to proceed to clear myself of what lay upon me. Near thebeginning of the Yearly Meeting, I had had a private conference with this saidelder and his wife concerning their slaves, so that the way seemed clear to meto advise with him about the manner of proceeding.
I told him I was free to have a conference with them all together in aprivate house; or, if he thought they would take it unkind to be asked to cometogether, and to be spoken with in the hearing of one another, I was free tospend some time amongst them, and to visit them all in their own houses. Heexpressed his liking to the first proposal, not doubting their willingness tocome together; and, as I proposed a visit to only ministers, elders, andoverseers, he named some others whom he desired might also be present. A careful messenger being wanted to acquaint them in a proper manner, he offeredto go to all their houses, to open the matter to them, -- and did so. About theeighth hour the next morning we met in the meeting-house chamber, the last-mentioned country Friend, my companion, and John Storer being with us. After ashort time of retirement, I acquainted them with the steps I had taken inprocuring that meeting, and opened the concern I was under, and we thenproceeded to a free conference upon the subject. My exercise was heavy, and Iwas deeply bowed in spirit before the Lord, who was pleased to favour with theseasoning virtue of truth, which wrought a tenderness amongst us; and thesubject was mutually handled in a calm and peaceable spirit. At length, feelingmy mind released from the burden which I had been under, I took my leave ofthem in a good degree of satisfaction; and by the tenderness they manifested inregard to the practice, and the concern several of them expressed in relationto the manner of disposing of their negroes after their decease, I believedthat a good exercise was spreading amongst them: and I am humbly thankful toGod, who supported my mind and preserved me in a good degree of resignationthrough these trials.
Thou who sometimes travellest in the work of the ministry, and art made verywelcome by thy friends, seest many tokens of their satisfaction in having theefor their guest. It is good for thee to dwell deep, that thou mayest feel andunderstand the spirits of people. If we believe truth points towards aconference on some subjects in a private way, it is needful for us to take heedthat their kindness, their freedom and affability, do not hinder us from theLord's work. I have experienced that, in the midst of kindness and smoothconduct, to speak close and home to them who entertain us, on points thatrelate to outward interest, is hard labour. Sometimes, when I have felt truthlead towards it, I have found myself disqualified by a superficial friendship;and as the sense thereof hath abased me and my cries have been to the Lord, soI have been humbled and made content to appear weak, or as a fool for His sake;and thus a door hath been opened to enter upon it. To attempt to do the Lord'swork in our own way, and to speak of that which is the burden of the Word in away easy to the natural part, doth not reach the bottom of the disorder. To seethe failings of our friends, and think hard of them, without opening that whichwe ought to open, and still carry a face of friendship, tends to undermine thefoundation of true unity. The office of a minister of Christ is weighty, andthey who now go forth as watchmen have need to be steadily on their guardagainst the snares of prosperity and an outside friendship.
After the Yearly Meeting we were at meetings at Newtown, Cushnet, Long Plain,Rochester, and Dartmouth. From thence we sailed for Nantucket, in company withAnn Gaunt, Mercy Redman, and several other Friends. The wind being slack weonly reached Tarpawling Cove the first day; where, going on shore, we found room in a public-house, and beds for a few of us, -- the rest slept on thefloor. We went on board again about break of day, and though the wind wassmall, we were favoured to come within about four miles of Nantucket; and thenabout ten of us got into our boat and rowed to the harbour before dark; a largeboat went off and brought in the rest of the passengers about midnight. Thenext day but one was their Yearly Meeting, which held four days, the last ofwhich was their Monthly Meeting for business. We had a labourious time amongstthem; our minds were closely exercised, and I believe it was a time of greatsearching of heart. The longer I was on the island the more I became sensiblethat there was a considerable number of valuable Friends there, though an evilspirit, tending to strife, had been at work amongst them. I was cautious ofmaking any visits except as my mind was particularly drawn to them; and in thatway we had some sittings in Friends' houses, where the heavenly wing was attimes spread over us, to our mutual comfort. My beloved companion had veryacceptable service on this island.
When meeting was over, we all agreed to sail the next day if the weather wassuitable and we were well; and being called up the latter part of the night,about fifty of us went on board a vessel; but, the wind changing, the seamenthought best to stay in the harbour till it altered, so we returned on shore.
Feeling clear as to any further visits, I spent my time in my chamber, chieflyalone; and after some hours, my heart being filled with the spirit ofsupplication, my prayers and tears were poured out before my Heavenly Fatherfor His help and instruction in the manifold difficulties which attended me inlife. While I was waiting upon the Lord, there came a messenger from the womenFriends who lodged at another house, desiring to confer with us aboutappointing a meeting, which to me appeared weighty, as we had been at so manybefore; but after a short conference, and advising with some elderly Friends, ameeting was appointed, in which the Friend who first moved it, and who had beenmuch shut up before, was largely opened in the love of the gospel. The nextmorning about break of day going again on board the vessel, we reached Falmouthon the Main before night, where our horses being brought, we proceeded towardsSandwich Quarterly Meeting.
Being two days in going to Nantucket, and having been there once before, Iobserved many shoals in their bay, which make sailing more dangerous,especially in stormy nights; also, that a great shoal which encloses theirharbour prevents the entrance of sloops except when the tide is up. Waitingwithout for the rising of the tide is sometimes hazardous in storms, and bywaiting within they sometimes miss a fair wind. I took notice that there was onthat small island a great number of inhabitants, and the soil not very fertile,the timber being so gone that for vessels, fences, and firewood, they depend chiefly on buying from the Main, for the cost whereof, with most of their otherexpenses, they depend principally upon the whale fishery.
I considered that as towns grew larger, and lands near navigable waters weremore cleared, it would require more labour to get timber and wood. I understoodthat the whales, being much hunted and sometimes wounded and not killed, growmore shy and difficult to come at. I considered that the formation of theearth, the seas, the islands, bays, and rivers, the motions of the winds andgreat waters, which cause bars and shoals in particular places, were all theworks of Him who is perfect wisdom and goodness; and as people attend to Hisheavenly instruction, and put their trust in Him, He provides for them in allparts where he gives them a being; and as in this visit to these people I felta strong desire for their firm establishment on the sure foundation, besideswhat was said more publicly, I was concerned to speak with the women Friends intheir Monthly Meeting of business, many being present, and in the fresh springof pure love to open before them the advantage, both inwardly and outwardly, ofattending singly to the pure guidance of the Holy Spirit, and therein toeducate their children in true humility and the disuse of all superfluities. Ireminded them of the difficulties their husbands and sons were frequentlyexposed to at sea, and that the more plain and simple their way of living wasthe less need there would be of running great hazards to support them.
I also encouraged the young women to continue their neat, decent way ofattending themselves on the affairs of the house; showing, as the way opened,that where people were truly humble, used themselves to business, and werecontent with a plain way of life, they had ever had more true peace andcalmness of mind than they who, aspiring to greatness and outward show, havegrasped hard for an income to support themselves therein. And as I observedthey had so few or no slaves, I had to encourage them to be content withoutthem, making mention of the numerous troubles and vexations which frequentlyattended the minds of the people who depend on slaves to do their labour.
We attended the Quarterly Meeting at Sandwich, in company with Ann Gaunt andMercy Redman, which was preceded by a Monthly Meeting, and in the whole heldthree days. We were in various ways exercised amongst them, in gospel love,according to the several gifts bestowed on us, and were at times overshadowedwith the virtue of truth, to the comfort of the sincere and stirring up of thenegligent. Here we parted with Ann and Mercy, and went to Rhode Island, takingone meeting in our way, which was a satisfactory time. Reaching Newport theevening before their Quarterly Meeting, we attended it, and after that had ameeting with our young people, separated from those of other societies. We wentthrough much labour in this town; and now, in taking leave of it, though I feltclose inward exercise to the last, I found inward peace, and was in some degree comforted in a belief that a good number remain in that place who retain asense of truth, and that there are some young people attentive to the voice ofthe Heavenly Shepherd. The last meeting, in which Friends from the severalparts of the quarter came together, was a select meeting, and through therenewed manifestation of the Father's love the hearts of the sincere wereunited together.
The poverty of spirit and inward weakness, with which I was much tried thefore part of this journey, has of late appeared to me a dispensation ofkindness. Appointing meetings never appeared more weighty to me, and I was ledinto a deep search whether in all things my mind was resigned to the will ofGod; often querying with myself what should be the cause of such inwardpoverty, and greatly desiring that no secret reserve in my heart might hindermy access to the divine fountain. In these humbling times I was made watchful,and excited to attend to the secret movings of the heavenly principle in mymind, which prepared the way to some duties, that, in more easy and prosperoustimes as to the outward, I believe I should have been in danger of omitting.
From Newport we went to Greenwich, Shanticut, and Warwick, and were helped tolabour amongst Friends in the love of our gracious Redeemer. Afterwards,accompanied by our friend John Casey from Newport, we rode through Connecticutto Oblong, visited the meetings in those parts, and thence proceeded to theQuarterly Meeting at Ryewoods. Through the gracious extendings of divine help,we had some seasoning opportunities in those places. We also visited Friends atNew York and Flushing, and thence to Rahway. Here our roads parting, I tookleave of my beloved companion and true yokemate Samuel Eastburn, and reachedhome the 10th of Eighth Month, where I found my family well. For the favoursand protection of the Lord, both inward and outward, extended to me in thisjourney, my heart is humbled in grateful acknowledgments, and I find reneweddesires to dwell and walk in resignedness before Him.