A FEW years past, money being made current in our province for carrying onwars, and to be called in again by taxes laid on the inhabitants, my mind wasoften affected with the thoughts of paying such taxes; and I believe it rightfor me to preserve a memorandum concerning it. I was told that Friends inEngland frequently paid taxes, when the money was applied to such purposes. Ihad conversation with several noted Friends on the subject, who all favouredthe payment of such taxes; some of them I preferred before myself, and thismade me easier for a time; yet there was in the depth of my mind a scruplewhich I never could get over; and at certain times I was greatly distressed onthat account.

　　I believed that there were some upright-hearted men who paid such taxes, yetcould not see that their example was a sufficient reason for me to do so, whileI believe that the Spirit of truth required of me, as an individual, to sufferpatiently the distress of goods, rather than pay actively.

　　To refuse the active payment of a tax which our Society generally paid wasexceedingly disagreeable; but to do a thing contrary to my conscience appearedyet more dreadful. When this exercise came upon me, I knew of none under thelike difficulty; and in my distress I besought the Lord to enable me to give upall, that so I might follow Him wheresoever He was pleased to lead me. Underthis exercise I went to our Yearly Meeting at Philadelphia in the year 1755; atwhich a committee was appointed of some from each Quarterly Meeting, tocorrespond with the meeting for sufferers in London; and another to visit ourMonthly and Quarterly Meetings. After their appointment, before the lastadjournment of the meeting, it was agreed that these two committees should meettogether in Friends' school-house in the city, to consider some things in whichthe cause of truth was concerned. They accordingly had a weighty conference in the fear of the Lord; at which time I perceived there were many Friends under ascruple like that before mentioned.(1)As scrupling to pay a tax on account of the application hath seldom beenheard of heretofore, even amongst men of integrity, who have steadily bornetheir testimony against outward wars in their time, I may therefore note somethings which have occurred to my mind, as I have been inwardly exercised onthat account. From the steady opposition which faithful Friends in early timesmade to wrong things then approved, they were hated and persecuted by menliving in the spirit of this world, and suffering with firmness, they were madea blessing to the Church, and the work prospered. It equally concerns men inevery age to take heed to their own spirits; and in comparing their situationwith ours, to me it appears that there was less danger of their being infectedwith the spirit of this world, in paying such taxes, than is the case with usnow. They had little or no share in civil government, and many of them declaredthat they were, through the power of God, separated from the spirit in whichwars were, and being afflicted by the rulers on account of their testimony,there was less likelihood of their uniting in spirit with them in thingsinconsistent with the purity of truth.

　　We, from the first settlement of this land, have known little or no troublesof that sort. The profession of our predecessors was for a time accountedreproachful, but at length, their uprightness being understood by the rulers,and their innocent sufferings moving them, our way of worship was tolerated,and many of our members in these colonies became active in civil government.

　　Being thus tried with favour and prosperity, this world appeared inviting; ourminds have been turned to the improvement of our country, to merchandise andthe sciences, amongst which are many things useful, if followed in pure wisdom;but in our present condition I believe it will not be denied that a carnal mindis gaining upon us. Some of our members, who are officers in civil government,are, in one case or other, called upon in their respective stations to assistin things relative to the wars; but being in doubt whether to act or to craveto be excused from their office, if they see their brethren united in thepayment of a tax to carry on the said wars, may think their case not muchdifferent, and so might quench the tender movings of the Holy Spirit in theirminds. Thus, by small degrees, we might approach so near to fighting that thedistinction would be little else than the name of a peaceable people.

　　It requires great self-denial and resignation of ourselves to God, to attainthat state wherein we can freely cease from fighting when wrongfully invaded,if, by our fighting, there were a probability of overcoming the invaders.

　　Whoever rightly attains to it does in some degree feel that spirit in which ourRedeemer gave His life for us; and through divine goodness many of ourpredecessors, and many now living, have learned this blessed lesson; but manyothers, having their religion chiefly by education, and not being enough acquainted with that cross which crucifies to the world, do manifest a temperdistinguishable from that of an entire trust in God. In calmly consideringthese things, it hath not appeared strange to me that an exercise hath nowfallen upon some, which, with respect to the outward means, is different fromwhat was known to many of those who went before us.

　　Some time after the Yearly Meeting, the said committees met at Philadelphia,and, by adjournments, continued sitting several days. The calamities of warwere now increasing; the frontier inhabitants of Pennsylvania were frequentlysurprised, some were slain, and many taken captive by the Indians; and whilethese committees sat, the corpse of one so slain was brought in a waggon, andtaken through the streets of the city in his bloody garments, to alarm thepeople and rouse them to war.

　　Friends thus met were not all of one mind in relation to the tax, which, tothose who scrupled it, made the way more difficult. To refuse an active paymentat such a time might be construed into an act of disloyalty, and appearedlikely to displease the rulers not only here but in England; still there was ascruple so fixed on the minds of many Friends that nothing moved it. It was aconference the most weighty that ever I was at, and the hearts of many werebowed in reverence before the Most High. Some Friends of the said committeeswho appeared easy to pay the tax, after several adjournments, withdrew; othersof them continued till the last. At length an epistle of tender love andcaution to Friends in Pennsylvania was drawn up, and being read several timesand corrected, was signed by such as were free to sign it, and afterward sentto the Monthly and Quarterly Meetings.

　　Ninth of Eighth Month, 1757. -- Orders came at night to the military officersin our county (Burlington), directing them to draft the militia, and prepare anumber of men to go off as soldiers, to the relief of the English at FortWilliam Henry, in New York government; a few days after which there was ageneral review of the militia at Mount Holly, and a number of men were chosenand sent off under some officers. Shortly after, there came orders to draftthree times as many, who were to hold themselves in readiness to march whenfresh orders came. On the 17th there was a meeting of the military officers atMount Holly, who agreed on draft; orders were sent to the men so chosen to meettheir respective captains at set times and places, those in our township tomeet at Mount Holly, amongst whom were a considerable number of our Society. Mymind being affected herewith, I had fresh opportunity to see and consider theadvantage of living in the real substance of religion, where practice dothharmonize with principle. Amongst the officers are men of understanding, whohave some regard to sincerity where they see it; and when such in the executionof their office have men to deal with whom they believe to be upright-hearted,it is a painful task to put them to trouble on account of scruples ofconscience, and they will be likely to avoid it as much as easily may be. But where men profess to be so meek and heavenly-minded, and to have their trust sofirmly settled in God that they cannot join in wars, and yet by their spiritand conduct in common life manifest a contrary disposition, their difficultiesare great at such a time.

　　When officers who are anxiously endeavouring to get troops to answer thedemands of their superiors see men who are insincere pretend scruples ofconscience in hopes of being excused from a dangerous employment, it is likelythey will be roughly handled. In this time of commotion some of our young menleft these parts and tarried abroad till it was over; some came, and proposedto go as soldiers; others appeared to have a real tender scruple in their mindsagainst joining in wars, and were much humbled under the apprehension of atrial so near. I had conversation with several of them to my satisfaction. Whenthe captain came to town, some of the last-mentioned went and told him insubstance as follows: -- That they could not bear arms for conscience' sake;nor could they hire any to go in their places, being resigned as to the event.

　　At length the captain acquainted them all that they might return home for thepresent, but he required them to provide themselves as soldiers, and be inreadiness to march when called upon. This was such a time as I had not seenbefore; and yet I may say, with thankfulness to the Lord, that I believed thetrial was intended for our good; and I was favoured with resignation to Him.

　　The French army having taken the fort they were besieging, destroyed it andwent away; the company of men who were first drafted, after some days' march,had orders to return home, and those on the second draft were no more calledupon on that occasion.

　　Fourth of Fourth Month, 1758. -- Orders came to some officers in Mount Hollyto prepare quarters for a short time for about one hundred soldiers. An officerand two other men, all inhabitants of our town, came to my house. The officertold me that he came to desire me to provide lodging and entertainment for twosoldiers, and that six shillings a week per man would be allowed as pay for it.

　　The case being new and unexpected, I made no answer suddenly, but sat a timesilent, my mind being inward. I was fully convinced that the proceedings inwars are inconsistent with the purity of the Christian religion; and to behired to entertain men, who were then under pay as soldiers, was a difficultywith me. I expected they had legal authority for what they did; and after ashort time I said to the officer, If the men are sent here for entertainment, Ibelieve I shall not refuse to admit them into my house, but the nature of thecase is such that I expect I cannot keep them on hire. One of the men intimatedthat he thought I might do it consistently with my religious principles. Towhich I made no reply, believing silence at that time best for me. Though theyspake of two, there came only one, who tarried at my house about two weeks, andbehaved himself civilly. When the officer came to pay me, I told him I couldnot take pay, having admitted him into my house in a passive obedience to authority. I was on horseback when he spake to me, and as I turned from him, hesaid he was obliged to me; to which I said nothing; but, thinking on theexpression, I grew uneasy; and afterwards, being near where he lived, I wentand told him on what grounds I refused taking pay for keeping the soldier.

　　I have been informed that Thomas a Kempis lived and died in the professionof the Roman Catholic religion; and, in reading his writings, I have believedhim to be a man of a true Christian spirit, as fully so as many who diedmartyrs because they could not join with some superstitions in that Church. Alltrue Christians are of the same spirit, but their gifts are diverse, JesusChrist appointing to each one his peculiar office, agreeably to His infinitewisdom.

　　John Huss contended against the errors which had crept into the Church, inopposition to the Council of Constance, which the historian reports to haveconsisted of some thousand persons. He modestly vindicated the cause which hebelieved was right; and though his language and conduct towards his judgesappear to have been respectful, yet he never could be moved from the principlessettled in his mind. To use his own words: "This I most humbly require anddesire of you all, even for His sake who is the God of us all, that I be notcompelled to the thing which my conscience doth repugn or strive against." Andagain, in his answer to the Emperor: "I refuse nothing, most noble Emperor,whatsoever the council shall decree or determine upon me, only this one thing Iexcept, that I do not offend God and my conscience."(2) At length, rather thanact contrary to that which he believed the Lord required of him, he chose tosuffer death by fire. Thomas a Kempis, without disputing against the articlesthen generally agreed to, appears to have laboured, by pious example as well asby preaching and writing, to promote virtue and the inward spiritual religion;and I believe they were both sincere-hearted followers of Christ. True charityis an excellent virtue; and sincerely to labour for their good, whose belief inall points doth not agree with ours, is a happy state.

　　Near the beginning of the year 1758, I went one evening, in company with aFriend, to visit a sick person; and before our return we were told of a womanliving near, who had for several days been disconsolate, occasioned by a dream,wherein death, and the judgments of the Almighty after death, were representedto her mind in a moving manner. Her sadness on that account being worn off, theFriend with whom I was in company went to see her, and had some religiousconversation with her and her husband. With this visit they were somewhataffected, and the man, with many tears, expressed his satisfaction. In a shorttime after, the poor man, being on the river in a storm of wind, was with onemore drowned.

　　Eighth Month, 1758. -- Having had drawings in my mind to be at the QuarterlyMeeting in Chester County, and at some meetings in the county of Philadelphia,I went first to said Quarterly Meeting, which was large. Several weighty matters came under consideration and debate, and the Lord was pleased toqualify some of His servants with strength and firmness to bear the burden ofthe day. Though I said but little, my mind was deeply exercised, and, under asense of God's love, in the anointing and fitting of some young men for hiswork, I was comforted, and my heart was tendered before Him. From hence I wentto the Youth's Meeting at Darby, where my beloved friend and brother BenjaminJones met me by appointment before I left home, to join in the visit. We wereat Radnor, Merion, Richland, North Wales, Plymouth, and Abington meetings, andhad cause to bow in reverence before the Lord, our gracious God, by whose helpway was opened for us from day to day. I was out about two weeks, and rodeabout two hundred miles.

　　The Monthly Meeting of Philadelphia having been under a concern on account ofsome Friends who this summer (1758) had bought negro slaves, proposed to theirQuarterly Meeting to have the minute reconsidered in the Yearly Meeting, whichwas made last on that subject, and the said Quarterly Meeting appointed acommittee to consider it, and to report to their next. This committee havingmet once and adjourned, and I, going to Philadelphia to meet a committee of theYearly Meeting, was in town the evening on which the Quarterly Meeting'scommittee met the second time, and finding an inclination to sit with them, Iwith some others was admitted, and Friends had a weighty conference on thesubject. Soon after their next Quarterly meeting I heard that the case wascoming to our Yearly Meeting. This brought a weighty exercise upon me, andunder a sense of my own infirmities, and the great danger I felt of turningaside from perfect purity, my mind was often drawn to retire alone, and put upmy prayers to the Lord that He would be graciously pleased to strengthen me;that, setting aside all views of self-interest and the friendship of thisworld, I might stand fully resigned to His holy will.

　　In this Yearly Meeting several weighty matters were considered, and towardthe last that in relation to dealing with persons who purchase slaves. Duringthe several sittings of the said meeting, my mind was frequently covered withinward prayer, and I could say with David, "that tears were my meat day andnight." The case of slave-keeping lay heavy upon me, nor did I find anyengagement to speak directly to any other matter before the meeting. Now whenthis case was opened several faithful Friends spake weightily thereto, withwhich I was comforted; and feeling a concern to cast in my mite, I said insubstance as follows: -"In the difficulties attending us in this life nothing is more preciousthan the mind of truth inwardly manifested; and it is my earnest desire that inthis weighty matter we may be so truly humbled as to be favoured with a clearunderstanding of the mind of truth, and follow it; this would be of moreadvantage to the Society than any medium not in the clearness of divine wisdom.

　　The case is difficult to some who have slaves, but if such set aside all self-interest, and come to be weaned from the desire of getting estates, or evenfrom holding them together, when truth requires the contrary, I believe waywill so open that they will know how to steer through those difficulties."Many Friends appeared to be deeply bowed under the weight of the work, andmanifested much firmness in their love to the cause of truth and universalrighteousness on the earth. And though none did openly justify the practice ofslave-keeping in general, yet some appeared concerned lest the meeting shouldgo into such measures as might give uneasiness to many brethren, alleging that,if Friends patiently continued under the exercise, the Lord in His time mightopen a way for the deliverance of these people. Finding an engagement to speak,I said, "My mind is often led to consider the purity of the divine Being, andthe justice of His judgments; and herein my soul is covered with awfulness. Icannot omit to hint of some cases where people have not been treated with thepurity of justice, and the event hath been lamentable. Many slaves on thiscontinent are oppressed, and their cries have reached the ears of the MostHigh. Such are the purity and certainty of His judgments, that He cannot bepartial in our favour. In infinite love and goodness, He hath opened ourunderstanding from one time to another concerning our duty towards this people,and it is not a time for delay. Should we now be sensible of what He requiresof us, and through a respect to the private interest of some persons, orthrough a regard to some friendships which do not stand on an immutablefoundation, neglect to do our duty in firmness and constancy, still waiting forsome extraordinary means to bring about their deliverance, God may by terriblethings in righteousness answer us in this matter."Many faithful brethren laboured with great firmness, and the love of truth ina good degree prevailed. Several who had negroes expressed their desire that arule might be made to deal with such Friends as offenders who bought slaves infuture. To this it was answered that the root of this evil would never beeffectually struck at, until a thorough search was made in the circumstances ofsuch Friends as kept negroes, with respect to the righteousness of theirmotives in keeping them, that impartial justice might be administeredthroughout. Several Friends expressed their desire that a visit might be madeto such Friends as kept slaves, and many others said that they believed libertywas the negro's right; to which, at length, no opposition was publicly made. Aminute was made more full on that subject than any heretofore; and the names of several Friends entered who were free to join in a visit to such as keptslaves.