An Adventure on the Roads — The Six Flint Stones — A Rural Scene — Mead — The Old Man and His Bees

I bent my course in the direction of the north, more induced by chance than any particular motive; all quarters of the world having about equal attractions for me. I was in high spirits at finding myself once more on horseback, and trotted gaily on, until the heat of the weather induced me to slacken my pace, more out of pity for my horse than because I felt any particular inconvenience from it — heat and cold being then, and still, matters of great indifference to me. What I thought of I scarcely know, save and except that I have a glimmering recollection that I felt some desire to meet with one of those adventures, which upon the roads of England are generally as plentiful as blackberries in autumn; and Fortune, who has generally been ready to gratify my inclinations, provided it cost her very little by so doing, was not slow in furnishing me with an adventure, perhaps as characteristic of the English roads as anything which could have happened.

I might have travelled about six miles, amongst cross-roads and lanes, when suddenly I found myself upon a broad and very dusty road, which seemed to lead due north. As I wended along this, I saw a man upon a donkey, riding towards me. The man was commonly dressed, with a broad felt hat on his head, and a kind of satchel on his back; he seemed to be in a mighty hurry, and was every now and then belabouring the donkey with a cudgel. The donkey, however, which was a fine large creature of the silver-grey species, did not appear to sympathize at all with its rider in his desire to get on, but kept its head turned back as much as possible, moving from one side of the road to the other, and not making much forward way. As I passed, being naturally of a very polite disposition, I gave the man the sele of the day, asking him, at the same time, why he beat the donkey; whereupon the fellow, eyeing me askance, told me to mind my own business, with the addition of something which I need not repeat. I had not proceeded a furlong before I saw seated on the dust by the wayside, close by a heap of stones, and with several flints before him, a respectable-looking old man, with a straw hat and a white smock, who was weeping bitterly.

‘What are you crying for, father?’ said I. ‘Have you come to any hurt?’ ‘Hurt enough,’ sobbed the old man, ‘I have been just tricked out of the best ass in England by a villain, who gave me nothing but these trash in return,’ pointing to the stones before him. ‘I really scarcely understand you,’ said I, ‘I wish you would explain yourself more clearly.’ ‘I was riding on my ass from market,’ said the old man, ‘when I met here a fellow with a sack on his back, who, after staring at the ass and me a moment or two, asked me if I would sell her. I told him that I could not think of selling her, as she was very useful to me, and though an animal, my true companion, whom I loved as much as if she were my wife and daughter. I then attempted to pass on, but the fellow stood before me, begging me to sell her; saying that he would give me anything for her, well, seeing that he persisted, I said at last that if I sold her, I must have six pounds for her, and I said so to get rid of him, for I saw that he was a shabby fellow, who had probably not six shillings in the world; but I had better have held my tongue,’ said the old man, crying more bitterly than before, ‘for the words were scarcely out of my mouth, when he said he would give me what I asked, and taking the sack from his back, he pulled out a steelyard, and going to the heap of stones there, he took up several of them and weighed them, then flinging them down before me, he said, “There are six pounds, neighbour; now, get off the ass, and hand her over to me.” Well, I sat like one dumbfoundered for a time, till at last I asked him what he meant? “What do I mean,” said he, “you old rascal, why I mean to claim my purchase,” and then he swore so awfully, that scarcely knowing what I did I got down, and he jumped on the animal and rode off as fast as he could.’ ‘I suppose he was the fellow,’ said I, ‘whom I just now met upon a fine grey ass, which he was beating with a cudgel.’ ‘I dare say he was,’ said the old man, ‘I saw him beating her as he rode away, and I thought I should have died.’ ‘I never heard such a story,’ said I; ‘well, do you mean to submit to such a piece of roguery quietly?’ ‘Oh, dear,’ said the old man, ‘what can I do? I am seventy-nine years of age; I am bad on my feet, and daren’t go after him.’ ‘Shall I go?’ said I; ‘the fellow is a thief, and any one has a right to stop him.’ ‘Oh, if you could but bring her again to me,’ said the old man, ‘I would bless you to my dying day; but have a care; I don’t know but after all the law may say that she is his lawful purchase. I asked six pounds for her, and he gave me six pounds.’ ‘Six flints you mean,’ said I; ‘no, no, the law is not quite so bad as that either; I know something about her, and am sure that she will never sanction such a quibble. At all events, I’ll ride after the fellow.’ Thereupon turning the horse round, I put him to his very best trot; I rode nearly a mile without obtaining a glimpse of the fellow, and was becoming apprehensive that he had escaped me by turning down some by-path, two or three of which I had passed. Suddenly, however, on the road making a slight turning, I perceived him right before me, moving at a tolerably swift pace, having by this time probably overcome the resistance of the animal. Putting my horse to a full gallop, I shouted at the top of my voice, ‘Get off that donkey, you rascal, and give her up to me, or I’ll ride you down.’ The fellow hearing the thunder of the horse’s hoofs behind him, drew up on one side of the road. ‘What do you want?’ said he, as I stopped my charger, now almost covered with sweat and foam, close beside him. ‘Do you want to rob me?’ ‘To rob you?’ said I. ‘No! but to take from you that ass, of which you have just robbed its owner.’ ‘I have robbed no man,’ said the fellow; ‘I just now purchased it fairly of its master, and the law will give it to me; he asked six pounds for it, and I gave him six pounds.’ ‘Six stones, you mean, you rascal,’ said I; ‘get down, or my horse shall be upon you in a moment;’ then with a motion of my reins, I caused the horse to rear, pressing his sides with my heels as if I intended to make him leap. ‘Stop,’ said the man, ‘I’ll get down, and then try if I can’t serve you out.’ He then got down, and confronted me with his cudgel; he was a horrible-looking fellow, and seemed prepared for anything. Scarcely, however, had he dismounted, when the donkey jerked the bridle out of his hand, and probably in revenge for the usage she had received, gave him a pair of tremendous kicks on the hip with her hinder legs, which overturned him, and then scampered down the road the way she had come. ‘Pretty treatment this,’ said the fellow, getting up without his cudgel, and holding his hand to his side, ‘I wish I may not be lamed for life.’ ‘And if you be,’ said I, ‘it would merely serve you right, you rascal, for trying to cheat a poor old man out of his property by quibbling at words.’ ‘Rascal!’ said the fellow, ‘you lie, I am no rascal; and as for quibbling with words — suppose I did! What then? All the first people does it! The newspapers does it! The gentlefolks that calls themselves the guides of the popular mind does it! I’m no ignoramus. I reads the newspapers, and knows what’s what.’ ‘You read them to some purpose,’ said I. ‘Well, if you are lamed for life, and unfitted for any active line — turn newspaper editor; I should say you are perfectly qualified, and this day’s adventure may be the foundation of your fortune,’ thereupon I turned round and rode off. The fellow followed me with a torrent of abuse. ‘Confound you!’ said he — yet that was not the expression either —‘I know you; you are one of the horse-patrol, come down into the country on leave to see your relations. Confound you, you and the like of you have knocked my business on the head near Lunnon, and I suppose we shall have you shortly in the country.’ ‘To the newspaper office,’ said I, ‘and fabricate falsehoods out of flint stones;’ then touching the horse with my heels, I trotted off, and coming to the place where I had seen the old man, I found him there, risen from the ground, and embracing his ass.

I told him that I was travelling down the road, and said, that if his way lay in the same direction as mine, he could do no better than............