Mr. Petulengro’s Device — The Leathern Purse — Consent to Purchase a Horse

As I returned along the road I met Mr. Petulengro and one of his companions, who told me that they were bound for the public-house; whereupon I informed Jasper how I had seen in the stable the horse which we had admired at the fair. ‘I shouldn’t wonder if you buy that horse after all, brother,’ said Mr. Petulengro. With a smile at the absurdity of such a supposition, I left him and his companion, and betook myself to the dingle. In the evening I received a visit from Mr. Petulengro, who forthwith commenced talking about the horse, which he had again seen, the landlord having shown it to him on learning that he was a friend of mine. He told me that the horse pleased him more than ever, he having examined his points with more accuracy than he had an opportunity of doing on the first occasion, concluding by pressing me to buy him. I begged him to desist from such foolish importunity, assuring him that I had never so much money in all my life as would enable me to purchase the horse. Whilst this discourse was going on, Mr. Petulengro and myself were standing together in the midst of the dingle. Suddenly he began to move round me in a very singular manner, making strange motions with his hands, and frightful contortions with his features, till I became alarmed, and asked him whether he had not lost his senses? Whereupon, ceasing his movements and contortions, he assured me that he had not, but had merely been seized with a slight dizziness, and then once more returned to the subject of the horse. Feeling myself very angry, I told him that if he continued persecuting me in this manner, I should be obliged to quarrel with him; adding, that I believed his only motive for asking me to buy the animal was to insult my poverty. ‘Pretty poverty,’ said he, ‘with fifty pounds in your pocket; however, I have heard say, that it is always the custom of your rich people to talk of their poverty, more especially when they wish to avoid laying out money.’ Surprised at his saying that I had fifty pounds in my pocket, I asked him what he meant; whereupon he told me that he was very sure that I had fifty pounds in my pocket, offering to lay me five shillings to that effect. ‘Done,’ said I; ‘I have scarcely more than the fifth part of what you say.’ ‘I know better, brother,’ said Mr. Petulengro; ‘and if you only pull out what you have in the pocket of your slop, I am sure you will have lost your wager.’ Putting my hand into the pocket, I felt something which I had never felt there before, and pulling it out, perceived that it was a clumsy leathern purse, which I found, on opening, contained four ten-pound notes, and several pieces of gold. ‘Didn’t I tell you so, brother?’ said Mr. Petulengro. ‘Now, in the first place, please to pay me the five shillings you have lost.’ ‘This is only a foolish piece of pleasantry,’ said I; ‘you put it into my pocket whilst you were moving about me, making faces like a distracted person. Here, take your purse back.’ ‘I?’ said Mr. Petulengro, ‘not I, indeed! don’t think I am such a fool. I have won my wager, so pay me the five shillings, brother.’ ‘Do drop this folly,’ said I, ‘and take your purse;’ and I flung it on the ground. ‘Brother,’ said Mr. Petulengro, ‘you were talking of quarrelling with me just now. I tell you now one thing, which is, that if you do not take back the purse, I will quarrel with you; and it shall be for good and all. I’ll drop your acquaintance, no longer call you my pal, and not even say sarshan 134 to you when I meet you by the roadside. Hir mi diblis 135 I never will.’ I saw by Jasper’s look and tone that he was in earnest, and, as I had really a regard for the strange being, I scarcely knew what to do. ‘Now, be persuaded, brother,’ said Mr. Petulengro, taking up the purse, and handing it to me; ‘be persuaded; put the purse into your pocket, and buy the horse.’ ‘Well,’ said I, ‘if I did so, would you acknowledge the horse to be yours, and receive the money again as soon as I should be able to repay you?’

‘I would, brother, I would,’ said he; ‘return me the money as soon as you please, provided you buy the horse.’ ‘What motive have you for wishing me to buy that horse?’ said I. ‘He’s to be sold for fifty pounds,’ said Jasper, ‘and is worth four times that sum; though, like many a splendid bargain, he is now going a begging; buy him, and............