My pipe is lit, my grog is mix’d,

My curtains drawn and all is snug;

Old Puss is in her elbow-chair,

And Tray is sitting on the rug.

Last night I had a curious dream,

Miss Susan Bates was Mistress Mogg —

What d’ye think of that, my Cat?

What d’ye think of that, my Dog?

She look’d so fair, she sang so well,

I could but woo and she was won,

Myself in blue, the bride in white,

The ring was placed, the deed was done!

Away we went in chaise-and-four,

As fast as grinning boys could flog —

What d’ye think of that, my Cat?

What d’ye think of that, my Dog?

What loving tête-à-têtes to come!

But tête-à-têtes must still defer!

When Susan came to live with me,

Her mother came to live with her!

With sister Belle she couldn’t part,

But all my ties had leave to jog —

What d’ye think of that, my Cat?

What d’ye think of that, my Dog?

The mother brought a pretty Poll —

A monkey too, what work he made!

The sister introduced a Beau —

My Susan brought a favorite maid.

She had a tabby of her own,

A snappish mongrel christen’d Gog —

What d’ye think of that, my Cat?

What d’ye think of that, my Dog?

The Monkey bit — the Parrot scream’d

All day the sister strumm’d and sung;

The petted maid was such a scold!

My Susan learn’d to use her tongue:

Her mother had such wretched health,

She sate and croak’d like any frog —

What d’ye think of that, my Cat?

What d’ye think of that, my Dog?

No longer Deary, Ducky, and Love,

I soon came down to simple “M!”

The very servants cross’d my wish,

My Susan let me down to them.<............