They were standing under a tree, each with an arm round theother's neck, and Alice knew which was which in a moment, because oneof them had `DUM' embroidered on his collar, and the other `DEE.' `Isuppose they've each got "TWEEDLE" round at the back of the collar,' shesaid to herself.

　　They stood so still that she quite forgot they were alive, and she wasjust looking round to see if the word "TWEEDLE" was written at the backof each collar, when she was startled by a voice coming from the onemarked `DUM.'

　　`If you think we're wax-works,' he said, `you ought to pay, youknow. Wax-works weren't made to be looked at for nothing, nohow!'

　　`Contrariwise,' added the one marked `DEE,' `if you think we'realive, you ought to speak.'

　　`I'm sure I'm very sorry,' was all Alice could say; for the words ofthe old song kept ringing through her head like the ticking of a clock, andshe could hardly help saying them out loud:-so, They quite forgot their quarrel.

　　`Tweedledum and TweedledeeAgreed to have a battle;Had spoiled his nice newJustrattle.

　　then flewFor Tweedldown aedmonstrous crow,um said TweedledeeAs black as a tar-barrel; Which frig'

　　htened both the heroes`I know what you're thinking about,' said Tweedledum: `but it isn'tso, nohow.'

　　`Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, `if it was so, it might be; andif it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'

　　`I was thinking,' Alice said very politely, `which is the best way outof this wood: it's getting so dark. Would you tell me, please?'

　　But the little men only looked at each other and grinned.

　　They looked so exactly like a couple of great schoolboys, that Alicecouldn't help pointing her finger at Tweedledum, and saying `First Boy!'

　　`Nohow!' Tweedledum cried out briskly, and shut his mouth upagain with a snap.

　　`Next Boy!' said Alice, passing on to Tweedledee, though she feltquite certain he would only shout out `Contrariwise!' and so he did.

　　`You've been wrong!' cried Tweedledum. `The first thing in a visitis to say "How d'ye do?" and shake hands!' And here the two brothersgave each other a hug, and then they held out the two hands that were free,to shake hands with her.

　　Alice did not like shaking hands with either of them first, for fear ofhurting the other one's feelings; so, as the best way out of the difficulty,she took hold of both hands at once: the next moment they were dancinground in a ring. This seemed quite natural (she remembered afterwards),and she was not even surprised to hear music playing: it seemed to comefrom the tree under which they were dancing, and it was done (as well asshe could make it out) by the branches rubbing one across the other, likefiddles and fiddle-sticks.

　　`But it certainly WAS funny,' (Alice said afterwards, when she wastelling her sister the history of all this,) `to find myself singing "HERE WEGO ROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH." I don't know when I began it,but somehow I felt as if I'd been singing it a long long time!'

　　The other two dancers were fat, and very soon out of breath. `Fourtimes round is enough for one dance,' Tweedledum panted out, and theyleft off dancing as suddenly as they had begun: the music stopped at thesame moment.

　　Then they let go of Alice's hands, and stood looking at her for aminute: there was a rather awkward pause, as Alice didn't know how tobegin a conversation with people she had just been dancing with. `Itwould never do to say "How d'ye do?" NOW,' she said to herself: `weseem to have got beyond that, somehow!'

　　`I hope you're not much tired?' she said at last.

　　`Nohow. And thank you VERY much for asking,' saidTweedledum.

　　`So much obliged!' added Tweedledee. `You like poetry?'

　　`Ye-es. pretty well--SOME poetry,' Alice said doubtfully. `Would you tell me which road leads out of the wood?' `What shall I repeat toher?' said Tweedledee, looking round at Tweedledum with great solemneyes, and not noticing Alice's question.

　　`"THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER" is the longest,'

　　Tweedledum replied, giving his brother an affectionate hug.

　　Tweedledee began instantly:

　　`The sun was shining--'

　　Here Alice ventured to interrupt him. `If it's VERY long,' she said,as politely as she could, `would you please tell me first which road--'

　　Tweedledee smiled gently, and began again:

　　`The sun was shining on the sea,Shining with all his might: He did his very best to makeThe billows smooth and bright-- And this was odd,because it was The middle of the night.

　　The moon was shining sulkily,Because she thought the sun Had got no business to bethere After the day was done-- "It's veryrude of him," she said, "To come and spoil the fun!"The sea was wet as wet could be, Thesands were dry as dry. You could not see a cloud, becauseNo cloud was in the sky: No birds were flying over head-There were no birds to fly.

　　The Walrus and the Carpenter Werewalking close at hand; They wept like anything to seeSuch quantities of sand: "If this were only cleared away,"They said, "it WOULD be grand!""If seven maids with seven mopsSwept it for half a year, Do you suppose," the Walrus said,"That they could get it clear?" "I doubt it," said theCarpenter, And shed a bitter tear.

　　"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"The Walrus did beseech. "A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,Along the briny beach: We cannot do with more than four,To give a hand to each."The eldest Oyster looked at him. Butnever a word he said: The eldest Oyster winked his eye,And shook his heavy head-- Meaning to say he did notchoose To leave the oyster-bed.

　　But four young oysters hurried up,All eager for the treat: Their coats were brushed, theirfaces washed, Their shoes were clean and neat-And this was odd, because, you know, They hadn't anyfeet.

　　Four other Oysters followed them,And yet another four; And thick and fast they came at last,And more, and more, and more-- All hopping through thefrothy waves, And scrambling to the shore.

　　The Walrus and the Carpenter Walkedon a mile or so, And then they rested on a rockConveniently low: And all the little Oysters stoodAnd waited in a row.

　　"The time has come," the Walrus said,"To talk of many things: Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax-- Of cabbages--and kings-- Andwhy the sea is boiling hot-- And whether pigs havewings.""But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,"Before we have our chat; For some of us are out of breath,And all of us are fat!" "No hurry!" said the Carpenter.

　　They thanked him much for that.

　　"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said, "Iswhat we chiefly need: Pepper and vinegar besidesAre very good indeed-- Now if you're ready Oysters dear,We can begin to feed.""But not on us!" the Oysters cried,Turning a little blue, "After such kindness, that would beA dismal thing to do!" "The night is fine," the Walrus said"Do you admire the view?

　　"It was so kind of you to come! Andyou are very nice!" The Carpenter said nothing but"Cut us another slice: I wish you were not quite so deaf-I've had to ask you twice!""It seems a shame," the Walrus said,"To play them such a trick, After we've brought them outso far, And made them trot so quick!"The Carpenter said nothing but "The butter's spread toothick!""I weep for you," the Walrus said. "Ideeply sympathize." With sobs and tears he sorted outThose of the largest size. Holding his pocket handkerchiefBefore his streaming eyes.

　　"O Oysters," said the Carpenter.

　　"You've had a pleasant run! Shall we be trotting homeagain?" But answer came there none-And that was scarcely odd, because They'd eaten everyone.'

　　`I like the Walrus best,' said Alice: `because you see he was aLITTLE sorry for the poor oysters.'

　　`He ate more than the Carpenter, though,' said Tweedledee. `You seehe held his handkerchief in front, so that the Carpenter couldn't count howmany he took: contrariwise.'

　　`That was mean!' Alice said indignantly. `Then I like theCarpenter best--if he didn't eat so many as the Walrus.'

　　`But he ate as many as he could get,' said Tweedledum.

　　This was a puzzler. After a pause, Alice began, `Well! They wereBOTH very unpleasant characters--' Here she checked herself in somealarm, at hearing something that sounded to her like the puffing of a largesteam-engine in the wood near them, though she feared it was more likelyto be a wild beast. `Are there any lions or tigers about here?' she askedtimidly.

　　`It's only the Red King snoring,' said Tweedledee.

　　`Come and look at him!' the brothers cried, and they each took one of Alice's hands, and led her up to where the King was sleeping.

　　`Isn't he a LOVELY sight?' said Tweedledum.

　　Alice couldn't say honestly that he was. He had a tall red night-capon, with a tassel, and he was lying crumpled up into a sort of untidy heap,and snoring loud--`fit to snore his head off!' as Tweedledum remarked.

　　`I'm afraid he'll catch cold with lying on the damp grass,' said Alice,who was a very thoughtful little girl.

　　`He's dreaming now,' said Tweedledee: `and what do you thinkhe's dreaming about?'

　　Alice said `Nobody can guess that.'

　　`Why, about YOU!' Tweedledee exclaimed, clapping his handstriumphantly. `And if he left off dreaming about you, where do yousuppose you'd be?'

　　`Where I am now, of course,' said Alice.

　　`Not you!' Tweedledee retorted contemptuously. `You'd benowhere. Why, you're only a sort of thing in his dream!'

　　`If that there King was to wake,' added Tweedledum, `you'd go out-bang!--just like a candle!'

　　`I shouldn't!' Alice exclaimed indignantly. `Besides, if I'M only asort of thing in his dream, what are YOU, I should like to know?'

　　`Ditto' said Tweedledum.

　　`Ditto, ditto' cried Tweedledee.

　　He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn't help saying, `Hush!

　　You'll be waking him, I'm afraid, if you make so much noise.'

　　`Well, it no use YOUR talking about waking him,' said Tweedledum,`when you're only one of the things in his dream. You know very wellyou're not real.'

　　`I AM real!' said Alice and began to cry.

　　`You won't make yourself a bit realler by crying,' Tweedledeeremarked: `there's nothing to cry about.'

　　`If I wasn't real,' Alice said--half-laughing though her tears, it allseemed so ridiculous--`I shouldn't be able to cry.'

　　`I hope you don't suppose those are real tears?' Tweedleduminterrupted in a tone of great contempt.

　　`I know they're talking nonsense,' Alice thought to herself: `and it'sfoolish to cry about it.' So she brushed away her tears, and went on ascheerfully as she could. `At any rate I'd better be getting out of the wood,for really it's coming on very dark. Do you think it's going to rain?'

　　Tweedledum spread a large umbrella over himself and his brother,and looked up into it. `No, I don't think it is,' he said: `at least--notunder HERE. Nohow.'

　　`But it may rain OUTSIDE?'

　　`It may--if it chooses,' said Tweedledee: `we've no objection.

　　Contrariwise.'

　　`Selfish things!' thought Alice, and she was just going to say `Goodnight' and leave them, when Tweedledum sprang out from under theumbrella and seized her by the wrist.

　　`Do you see THAT?' he said, in a voice choking with passion, andhis eyes grew large and yellow all in a moment, as he pointed with atrembling finger at a small white thing lying under the tree.

　　`It's only a rattle,' Alice said, after a careful examination of the littlewhite thing. `Not a rattleSNAKE, you know,' she added hastily, thinkingthat he was frightened: only an old rattle--quite old and broken.'

　　`I knew it was!' cried Tweedledum, beginning to stamp about wildlyand tear his hair. `It's spoilt, of course!' Here he looked at Tweedledee,who immediately sat down on the ground, and tried to hide himself underthe umbrella.

　　Alice laid her hand upon his arm, and said in a soothing tone, `Youneedn't be so angry about an old rattle.'

　　`But it isn't old!' Tweedledum cried, in a greater fury than ever.

　　`It's new, I tell you--I bought it yesterday--my nice New RATTLE!' and hisvoice rose to a perfect scream.

　　All this time Tweedledee was trying his best to fold up the umbrella,with himself in it: which was such an extraordinary thing to do, that itquite took off Alice's attention from the angry brother. But he couldn'tquite succeed, and it ended in his rolling over, bundled up in the umbrella,with only his head out: and there he lay, opening and shutting his mouthand his large eyes--'looking more like a fish than anything else,' Alice thought.

　　`Of course you agree to have a battle?' Tweedledum said in a calmertone.

　　`I suppose so,' the other sulkily replied, as he crawled out of theumbrella: `only SHE must help us to dress up, you know.'

　　So the two brothers went off hand-in-hand into the wood, andreturned in a minute with their arms full of things--such as bolsters,blankets, hearth-rugs, table-cloths, dish-covers and coal-scuttles. `I hopeyou're a good hand at pinning and tying strings?' Tweedledum remarked.

　　`Every one of these things has got to go on, somehow or other.'

　　Alice said afterwards she had never seen such a fuss made aboutanything in all her life--the way those two bustled about-- and the quantityof things they put on--and the trouble they gave her in tying strings andfastening buttons--`Really they'll be more like bundles of old clothes thatanything else, by the time they're ready!' she said to herself, as shearranged a bolster round the neck of Tweedledee, `to keep his head frombeing cut off,' as he said.

　　`You know,' he added very gravely, `it's one of the most seriousthings that can possibly happen to one in a battle--to get one's head cutoff.'

　　Alice laughed aloud: but she managed to turn it into a cough, forfear of hurting his feelings.

　　`Do I look very pale?' said Tweedledum, coming up to have hishelmet tied on. (He CALLED it a helmet, though it certainly lookedmuch more like a saucepan.)`Well--yes--a LITTLE,' Alice replied gently.

　　`I'm very brave generally,' he went on in a low voice: `only to-dayI happen to have a headache.'

　　`And I'VE got a toothache!' said Tweedledee, who had overheardthe remark. `I'm far worse off than you!'

　　`Then you'd better not fight to-day,' said Alice, thinking it a goodopportunity to make peace.

　　`We MUST have a bit of a fight, but I don't care about going onlong,' said Tweedledum. `What's the time now?'

　　Tweedledee looked at his watch, and said `Half-past four.'

　　`Let's fight till six, and then have dinner,' said Tweedledum.

　　`Very well,' the other said, rather sadly: `and SHE can watch us-only you'd better not come VERY close,' he added: `I generally hiteverything I can see--when I get really excited.'

　　`And _I_ hit everything within reach,' cried Tweedledum, `whether Ican see it or not!'

　　Alice laughed. `You must hit the TREES pretty often, I shouldthink,' she said.

　　Tweedledum looked round him with a satisfied smile. `I don'tsuppose,' he said, `there'll be a tree left standing, for ever so far round, bythe time we've finished!'

　　`And all about a rattle!' said Alice, still hoping to make them aLITTLE ashamed of fighting for such a trifle.

　　`I shouldn't have minded it so much,' said Tweedledum, `if it hadn'tbeen a new one.'

　　`I wish the monstrous crow would come!' though Alice.

　　`There's only one sword, you know,' Tweedledum said to his brother:

　　`but you can have the umbrella--it's quite as sharp. Only we must beginquick. It's getting as dark as it can.'

　　`And darker.' said Tweedledee.

　　It was getting dark so suddenly that Alice thought there must be athunderstorm coming on. `What a thick black cloud that is!' she said.

　　`And how fast it comes! Why, I do believe it's got wings!'

　　`It's the crow!' Tweedledum cried out in a shrill voice of alarm:

　　and the two brothers took to their heels and were out of sight in a moment.

　　Alice ran a little way into the wood, and stopped under a large tree.

　　`It can never get at me HERE,' she thought: `it's far too large to squeezeitself in among the trees. But I wish it wouldn't flap its wings so--itmakes quite a hurricane in the wood-- here's somebody's shawl beingblown away!'