?Gabby! Arlo!? A woman in an elegant black floor-length gown, her highlighted brown hair pulled back in a stylish, professionally done 'do, was waving energetically at the Abramses from a table in the corner. ?I think that must be Mrs. Rosenfeld,? Vanessa dragged her parents over to the gesticulating woman.
 Mwa! Mwa! ?We are justtoo glad you're here!? Pilar Rosenfeld cried, kissing each one of the Abramses twice on each cheek. ?Isn't it wonderful, Roy?? she asked, touching her husband's crisp, tuxe-doed arm. ?Here we all are together again after all these years.? ?Splendid!? Roy Rosenfeld said in his deep, dapper voice. The Rosenfelds had gone to art school with the Abramses and had once worn only tie-dyes, cutoffs, and no shoes, even though they were both from wealthy New England families. Obviously their shoeless days had been just a phase.  Next to Mr. Rosenfeld, a tall, dark-haired boy wearing wire-rimmed Armani glasses stood peering down his formidable nose at Vanessa, as if trying to place her. ?Jordy, you remember Gabriela and Arlo and Ruby and Vanessa?? his mother asked. The boy's haughty stance didn't change. ?I think the last time I saw you, you were only a baby, but I'm pretty sure you had more hair.? Vanessa had just noticed Serena van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf basking in their glory at the next table, making her even more aware of the fact that she was wearing her school uniform. ?Last time I saw you, you were wearing tie-dyed diapers.? Jordy pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his tremendous nose. ?Well, now I'm prelaw, at Columbia.? Ruby sat down at the table and poured herself a huge glass of champagne. ?Mom? Dad? Are you guys okay?? Their parents were standing stiffly together, propping each other up like one of their found-art statues. Vanessa wondered if they'd expected to be dancing barefoot around a fire to welcome the coming of spring instead of sitting down at a black-tie affair. ?Please.? Mr. Rosenfeld pulled out the empty chair next to him and gestured for Vanessa's mother to sit down. ?I just love your skirt,? Mrs. Rosenfeld noted, pointing to Arlo's accidental fashion statement. ?Is that Galliano by any chance?? Arlo stared at her blankly. A white-jacketed waiter arrived to serve the first course, a duck pate terrine. Arlo began to poke at it with his dessert spoon, checking it for signs of life. Vanessa's mother picked up her cloth napkin and blew her nose into it. Ruby snorted and giggled into her champagne. ?Are you still making art for peace, or have you given all that up?? Gabriela asked Pilar. Pilar smiled. ?Roy and I are in real estate law. Jordy wants to get into law, too, when he's done with school. Forget about it?we don't even have time to recycle anymore!? Vanessa's parents both blanched. Recycling was what found art was all about. Without recycling, they and their art would cease to exist. ?Well, that's a pity,? Gabriela said, frowning down at her pat?. ?You don't suppose I could ask them to make us a salad, do you?? Vanessa dug into her pate, delighted with this entertaining turn of events. ?What kind of law do you want to practice?? she asked Jordy. He waved cigarette smoke away from his weirdly long nostrils. Behind him, Blair Waldorf and Serena van der Woodsen were smoking like chimneys while Blair's pregnant mother polished off the food on their plates. ?Probably real estate, just like my parents.? Vanessa nodded. It was sort of hard to relate someone's desire to emulate his parents when her own parents were such freaks. But Jordy's lack of imagination was also strangely appealing. And he wasn't bad-looking either, with nice wavy black hair that looked like he probably spent a lot of time grooming it, and that nose. Vanessa wouldn't have minded getting Jordy's nose on film. ?I like your glasses,? she told him. Just because she had a shaved head didn't mean she didn't know how to flirt. ?Thanks.? He pulled them off and then put them back on again. ?You're a senior, right? Know where you're going to college next year?? Vanessa glared at Ruby, daring her to blurt out the information about Vanessa's early acceptance at NYU. But Ruby remained loyally silent, which was a major challenge for a motormouth like her. ?What does it matter?? Arlo demanded grumpily. ?Any school that can help her discover something she's passionate about would be fine.? Gabriela tugged on her long gray braid, her brown eyes passing over Vanessa absentmindedly. ?That's right, youare going to college next year.? She turned to Pilar. ?Arlo always hoped Vanessa would go to Oberlin. I don't know where he got that idea. After all, it's anarts school.? ?I'm sure some school will be dumb enough to take me,? Vanessa said quietly. ?That's the spirit, dear!? Pilar chirped. ?And all this time, you two girls have been living on your own in Williamsburg,? she added, changing the subject. ?My, you're independent!? ?Ruby's got to keep up with her music,? Gabriela gushed. ?Her band might get signed to a label soon.? Vanessa smiled tightly. ?While I just sit around the house all day, eating meat-flavored Pringles and watching violent TV.? Next to her Jordy grunted, the only one at the table who'd gotten the joke. The band began to play, a little louder this time. Duke Ellington, or something of that ilk. chuck Bass shimmied over to Serena and Blair's table, his hands on his hips for added gayness. ?This party would be so much less boring if you girls would dance with me.? He leaned over the backs of their chairs and breathed down their bare necks. Serena and Blair glanced at each other sideways. Their only surefire escape was to sprint to the ladies' room for more cigarettes. Grabbing their drinks, they scooted their chairs back and leapt to their feet. Rrrriippp! Whoosh!  Oops! Blair's borrowed too-tight pink dress ripped obscenely down both sides, revealing the fact that she was wearing only a pair of sheer black stockings underneath and absolutely no underwear. Worse still, Serena's strapless dress got caught on the back of her chair and was yanked down to her waist, revealing her completely bare 34Bs. ?It's all right, we're all girls here,? Chuck tittered. ?Close your eyes, dear,? Titi Coates snapped at her husband, Arthur. ?Oh, my!? Mrs. van der Woodsen exclaimed, reflexively reaching for her drink. ?Whoa,? Nate breathed, suddenly glad he wasn't high. The girls giggled hysterically, frantically clutching themselves and each other as they tore past Chuck, dashed to the coatroom to fetch their coats, and beat it out of the Frick as fast as their three-and-a-half-inch heels would allow. No one at Vanessa's table had even noticed. The elder Rosenfelds and Abramses were too busy being offended by each other as the band struck up the Irving Berlin song ?Puttin' on the Ritz.? Vanessa hated to dance, but she grabbed the sleeve of Jordy's expensive suit jacket, anyway. ?I love this song. Come and dance with me?? Jordy stood up and pulled back her chair for her, all manners and conformity. Then he led her onto the dance floor and twirled her around with the confident ease of someone who'd been to dancing school. Vanessa surprised herself by feeling a little giddy as she was spun and dipped. He was such a good dancer, she completely forgot about her stupid school uniform. Even though most of the other girls in the room would never forget.
 gossipgirl.net Disclaimer: All the real names of places, people, and events have been altered or abbreviated to protect the innocent. Namely, me.  hey people! That so-called boring, pointless party we all had to go to Wasn't it so much better than you expected? Just think, there are only a few more hours left until spring break?and now we all have something to talk about on the airplane! Not that I won't be talking about the thing I never get tired of talking about ?
 Sex Sure, some of us have had it and some of us haven't, but the truth is, we're all thinking about it and we're definitely all talking about it. There's the who-do-you-think-has-already-done-it-in-our-grade-and-with-whom breakdown, which always involves one girl getting accused of doing it with a teacher in sixth grade. A total lie by the way, because I happen to have been that girl. Then there's the who-would-you-do-it-with-if-you-could-do-it-with-anyone quiz, which usually involves a celebrity like Jake Gyllenhaal. Then there's the penis debate, which usually morphs into a shrieking, giggling fit, because face it, penises are ugly and weird. Then there's the my-ideal-first-time fantasy, which also usually involves celebrities. For some reason, my ideal-first-time fantasy was always with Jake, on top of a washing machine, at sunrise (our laundry room happens to have a great view of the sunrise over the East River). But then I realized how completely uncomfortable that would be?and how awkward if the maid needed to do the laundry! Needless to say, we can'tstop talking about sex. And now that I've spilled my guts, I herewith give you permission to spill yours. Don't be shy. After all, it's totally anonymous. Unless you don't want it to be.  Your e-mail  Q:Hey G, So last night I was at that party and I'm pretty sure I saw you. There was this weird family that I've never seen before. The dad was wearing sneakers and like, a wraparound skirt. Do you shave your head?  ?xstream A:Dear xstream, Your sleuthing abilities are admirable but way inaccurate. Even if I did shave my head, might I not wear a wig or a funky hat every once in a while, especially for a fancy-dress occasion like last night's party? And as I recall, the only girl in the room with a shaved head last night was also wearing her school uniform, which I must loudly insist I would never,ever do.  ?GG  Q:dear gossipgurl, so did you see S and N practically, like, doing it in the corner of the room at the Frick last night? they r so far in denial it's crazy. like why don't they just admit they want to be together? they would make a great couple, right?  ?spec.tater  A:Dear spec.tater, Methinks you err on the side of exaggeration. S and N are friends. Are friends not allowed to touch each other? Although it's hard not to believe they don't enjoy it a little more than they should ?  ?GG  Sightings SandB streaking?literally?out of theVirtue vs. Vice benefit last night before dessert was even served. Personally I thinkB planned the whole thing and wired their dresses so she could escape being in the same room withN when he was looking so dashing.V skipping out of the party with that boy with the unusual nose to share intimate cappuccinos at theThree Guys Coffee Shop a few blocks away. True love? Was she just trying to get rid of her parents? Or both? And J's new blond boyfriend,L ?yes, we are quite sure it was him?arriving late to theFrick, all dolled up in a gorgeous tux, withMadame T, the renowned arts benefactress, on his arm. He was also seen on the Upper West Side last night, so perhaps it was just another cute blond boy. There seems to be a bounty of them in these parts. Have a kick-ass vacation, and try not to break anything or lose anything I wouldn't break or lose! Wink, wink. You know you love me.  gossip girl