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HOME > Classical Novels > The Adventures of Sir Launcelot Greaves > CHAPTER ELEVEN
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CHAPTER ELEVEN
 DESCRIPTION OF A MODERN MAGISTRATE1. Before the knight2 would take any resolution for extricating3 himself from his present embarrassment4, he desired to be better acquainted with the character and circumstances of the justice by whom he had been confined, and likewise to understand the meaning of his own detention5. To be informed in this last particular, he renewed his dialogue with the turnkey, who told him through the grate, that Ferret no sooner perceived him in the jail without his offensive arms, which he had left below, than he desired to be carried before the justice, where he had given information against the knight, as a violator of the public peace, who strolled about the country with unlawful arms, rendering6 the highways unsafe, encroaching upon the freedom of elections, putting his majesty’s liege subjects in fear of their lives, and, in all probability, harbouring more dangerous designs under an affected7 cloak of lunacy. Ferret, upon this information, had been released, and entertained as an evidence for the King; and Crabshaw was put into the stocks, as an idle stroller.
 
Sir Launcelot, being satisfied in these particulars, addressed himself to his fellow-prisoners, and begged they would communicate what they knew respecting the worthy8 magistrate, who had been so premature9 in the execution of his office. This request was no sooner signified, than a crew of naked wretches10 crowded around him, and, like a congregation of rooks, opened their throats all at once, in accusation11 of Justice Gobble. The knight was moved at this scene, which he could not help comparing, in his own mind, to what would appear upon a much more awful occasion, when the cries of the widow and the orphan12, the injured and oppressed, would be uttered at the tribunal of an unerring Judge, against the villanous and insolent13 authors of their calamity14.
 
When he had, with some difficulty, quieted their clamours, and confined his interrogation to one person of a tolerably decent appearance, he learned, that Justice Gobble, whose father was a tailor, had for some time served as a journeyman hosier in London, where he had picked up some law terms, by conversing15 with hackney writers and attorneys’ clerks of the lowest order; that, upon the death of his master, he had insinuated17 himself into the good graces of the widow, who took him for her husband, so that he became a person of some consideration, and saved money apace; that his pride, increasing with his substance, was reinforced by the vanity of his wife, who persuaded him to retire from business, that they might live genteelly in the country; that his father dying, and leaving a couple of houses in this town, Mr. Gobble had come down with his lady to take possession, and liked the place so well, as to make a more considerable purchase in the neighbourhood; that a certain peer being indebted to him in the large way of his business, and either unable or unwilling18 to pay the money, had compounded the debt, by inserting his name in the commission; since which period his own insolence19, and his wife’s ostentation20, had exceeded all bounds; that, in the execution of his authority, he had committed a thousand acts of cruelty and injustice21 against the poorer sort of people, who were unable to call him to a proper account; that his wife domineered with a more ridiculous, though less pernicious usurpation23, among the females of the place; that, in a word, she was the subject of continual mirth, and he the object of universal detestation.
 
Our adventurer, though extremely well disposed to believe what was said to the prejudice of Gobble, would not give entire credit to this description, without first inquiring into the particulars of his conduct. He therefore asked the speaker, what was the cause of his particular complaint. “For my own part, sir,” said he, “I lived in repute, and kept a shop in this here town, well furnished with a great variety of articles. All the people in the place were my customers; but what I and many others chiefly depended upon, was the extraordinary sale at two annual customary fairs, to which all the country people in the neighbourhood resorted to lay out their money. I had employed all my stock, and even engaged my credit, to procure24 a large assortment25 of goods for the Lammas market; but, having given my vote in the election of a vestry-clerk, contrary to the interest of Justice Gobble, he resolved to work my ruin. He suppressed the annual fairs, by which a great many people, especially publicans, earned the best part of their subsistence. The country people resorted to another town. I was overstocked with a load of perishable26 commodities, and found myself deprived of the best part of my home customers, by the ill-nature and revenge of the justice, who employed all his influence among the common people, making use of threats and promises, to make them desert my shop, and give their custom to another person, whom he settled in the same business under my nose. Being thus disabled from making punctual payments, my commodities spoiling, and my wife breaking her heart, I grew negligent27 and careless, took to drinking, and my affairs went to wreck28. Being one day in liquor, and provoked by the fleers and taunts29 of the man who had set up against me, I struck him at his own door; upon which I was carried before the justice, who treated me with such insolence, that I became desperate, and not only abused him in the execution of his office, but also made an attempt to lay violent hands upon his person. You know, sir, when a man is both drunk and desperate, he cannot be supposed to have any command of himself. I was sent hither to jail. My creditors30 immediately seized my effects; and, as they were not sufficient to discharge my debts, a statute31 of bankruptcy32 was taken out against me; so that here I must lie, until they think proper to sign my certificate, or the parliament shall please to pass an act for the relief of insolvent33 debtors34.”
 
The next person who presented himself in the crowd of accusers was a meagre figure, with a green apron35, who told the knight that he had kept a public-house in town for a dozen years, and enjoyed a good trade, which was in a great measure owing to a skittle-ground, in which the best people of the place diverted themselves occasionally. That Justice Gobble, being disobliged at his refusing to part with a gelding which he had bred for his own use, first of all shut up the skittle-ground; but, finding the publican still kept his house open, he took care that he should be deprived of his licence, on pretence36 that the number of ale-houses was too great, and that this man had been bred to another employment. The poor publican being thus deprived of his bread, was obliged to try the staymaking business, to which he had served an apprenticeship37; but being very ill qualified38 for this profession, he soon fell to decay and contracted debts, in consequence of which he was now in prison, where he had no other support but what arose from the labour of his wife, who had gone to service.
 
The next prisoner who preferred his complaint against the unrighteous judge was a poacher, at whose practices Justice Gobble had for some years connived39, so as even to screen him from punishment, in consideration of being supplied with game gratis40, till at length he was disappointed by accident. His lady had invited guests to an entertainment, and bespoke41 a hare, which the poacher undertook to furnish. He laid his snares42 accordingly overnight, but they were discovered, and taken away by the gamekeeper of the gentleman to whom the ground belonged. All the excuses the poacher could make proved ineffectual in appeasing43 the resentment44 of the justice and his wife at being thus disconcerted. Measures were taken to detect the delinquent45 in the exercise of his illicit46 occupation; he was committed to safe custody47, and his wife, with five bantlings, was passed to her husband’s settlement in a different part of the country.
 
A stout48 squat49 fellow, rattling50 with chains, had just taken up the ball of accusation, when Sir Launcelot was startled with the appearance of a woman, whose looks and equipage indicated the most piteous distress51. She seemed to be turned of the middle age, was of a lofty carriage, tall, thin, weather-beaten, and wretchedly attired52; her eyes were inflamed53 with weeping, and her looks displayed that wildness and peculiarity54 which denote distraction55. Advancing to Sir Launcelot, she fell upon her knees, and, clasping her hands together, uttered the following rhapsody in the most vehement56 tone of affliction:—
 
“Thrice potent57, generous, and august emperor; here let my knees cleave58 to the earth, until thou shalt do me justice on that inhuman59 caitiff Gobble. Let him disgorge my substance which he hath devoured60; let him restore to my widowed arms my child, my boy, the delight of my eyes, the prop22 of my life, the staff of my sustenance61, whom he hath torn from my embrace, stolen, betrayed, sent into captivity62, and murdered! Behold63 these bleeding wounds upon his lovely breast! see how they mangle64 his lifeless corse! Horror! give me my child, barbarians65! his head shall lie upon his Suky’s bosom—she will embalm66 him with her tears. Ha! plunge67 him in the deep!—shall my boy then float in a watery68 tomb? Justice, most mighty69 emperor! justice upon the villain70 who hath ruined us all! May Heaven’s dreadful vengeance71 overtake him! may the keen storm of adversity strip him of all his leaves and fruit! may peace forsake72 his mind, and rest be banished73 from his pillow, so that all his days shall be filled with reproach and sorrow, and all his nights be haunted with horror and remorse74! may he be stung by jealousy75 without cause, and maddened by revenge without the means of execution! may all his offspring be blighted76 and consumed, like the mildewed77 ears of corn, except one that shall grow up to curse his old age, and bring his hoary78 head with sorrow to the grave, as he himself has proved a curse to me and mine!”
 
The rest of the prisoners, perceiving the knight extremely shocked at her misery79 and horrid80 imprecation, removed her by force from his presence, and conveyed her to another room; while our adventurer underwent a violent agitation81, and could not for some minutes compose himself so well as to inquire into the nature of this wretched creature’s calamity.
 
The shopkeeper, of whom he demanded this satisfaction, gave him to understand that she was born a gentlewoman, and had been well educated; that she married a curate, who did not long survive his nuptials82, and afterwards became the wife of one Oakley, a farmer in opulent circumstances. That after twenty years’ cohabitation with her husband, he sustained such losses by the distemper among the cattle, as he could not repair; and that this reverse of fortune was supposed to have hastened his death. That the widow, being a woman of spirit, determined
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