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Chapter 74
I practised religious rituals that I adapted to thecircumstances – solitary Masses without priests or consecratedCommunion hosts, darshans without murtis, and pujas withturtle meat for prasad, acts of devotion to Allah not knowingwhere Mecca was and getting my Arabic wrong. They broughtme comfort, that is certain. But it was hard, oh, it was hard.
Faith in God is an opening up, a letting go, a deep trust, afree act of love – but sometimes it was so hard to love.
Sometimes my heart was sinking so fast with anger, desolationand weariness, I was afraid it would sink to the very bottom ofthe Pacific and I would not be able to lift it back up.
At such moments I tried to elevate myself. I would touch theturban I had made with the remnants of my shirt and I wouldsay aloud, "THIS IS GOD'S HAT!"I would pat my pants and say aloud, "THIS IS GOD'SATTIRE!"I would point to Richard Parker and say aloud, &q............
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