The Baron¹ goes to Petersburgh, and converses² with the Empress— Persuades the Russians and Turks to cease cutting one another's throats, and in concert cut a canal across the Isthmus³ of Suez—The Baron discovers the Alexandrine Library, and meets with Hermes Trismegistus—Besieges Seringapatam, and challenges Tippoo Sahib to single combat—They fight—The Baron receives some wounds to his face, but at last vanquishes⁴ the tyrant⁵—The Baron returns to Europe, and raises the hull⁶ of the "Royal George."  
Seized with a fury of canal-cutting, I took it in my head to form an immediate⁷ communication between the Mediterranean⁸ and the Red Sea, and therefore set out for Petersburgh.
 
The sanguinary ambition of the Empress would not listen to my proposals, until I took a private opportunity, taking a cup of coffee with her Majesty⁹, to tell her that I would absolutely sacrifice myself for the general good of mankind, and if she would accede¹⁰ to my proposals, would, on the completion of the canal, ipso facto, give her my hand in marriage!
 
"My dear, dear Baron," said she, "I accede to everything you please, and agree to make peace with the Porte on the conditions you mention. And," added she, rising with all the majesty of the Czarina, Empress of half the world, "be it known to all subjects, that We ordain¹¹ these conditions, for such is our royal will and pleasure."
 
I now proceeded to the Isthmus of Suez, at the head of a million of Russian pioneers, and there united my forces with a million of Turks, armed with shovels¹² and pickaxes. They did not come to cut each other's throats, but for their mutual¹³ interest, to facilitate commerce and civilisation¹⁴, and pour all the wealth of India by a new channel into Europe. "My brave fellows," said I, "consider the immense labour of the Chinese to build their celebrated¹⁵ wall; think of what superior benefit to mankind is our present undertaking¹⁶; persevere¹⁷, and fortune will second your endeavours. Remember it is Munchausen who leads you on, and be convinced of success."
 
Saying these words, I drove my chariot with all my might in my former track, that vestige¹⁸ mentioned by the Baron de Tott, and when I was advanced considerably¹⁹, I felt my chariot sinking under me. I attempted to drive on, but the ground, or rather immense vault²⁰, giving way, my chariot and all went down precipitately²¹. Stunned²³ by the fall, it was some moments before I could recollect²⁴ myself, when at length, to my amazement²⁵, I perceived myself fallen into the Alexandrine Library, overwhelmed in an ocean of books; thousands of volumes came tumbling on my head amidst the ruins of that part of the vault through which my chariot had descended²⁶, and for a time buried my bulls and all beneath a heap of learning. However, I contrived²⁷ to extricate²⁸ myself, and advanced with awful admiration²⁹ through the vast avenues of the library. I perceived on every side innumerable volumes and repositories of ancient learning, and all the science of the Antediluvian³⁰ world. Here I met with Hermes Trismegistus, and a parcel of old philosophers debating upon the politics and learning of their days. I gave them inexpressible delight in telling them, in a few words, all the discoveries of Newton, and the history of the world since their time. These gentry³¹, on the contrary, told me a thousand stories of antiquity³² that some of our antiquarians would give their very eyes to hear.
 
In short, I ordered the library to be preserved, and I intend making a present of it, as soon as it arrives in England, to the Royal Society, together with Hermes Trismegistus, and half a dozen old philosophers. I have got a beautiful cage made, in which I keep these extraordinary creatures, and feed them with bread and honey, as they seem to believe in a kind of doctrine³³ of transmigration, and will not touch flesh. Hermes Trismegistus especially is a most antique looking being, with a beard half a yard long, covered with a robe of golden embroidery³⁴, and prates³⁵ like a parrot. He will cut a very brilliant figure in the Museum.
 
Having made a track with my chariot from sea to sea, I ordered my Turks and Russians to begin, and in a few hours we had the pleasure of seeing a fleet of British East Indiamen in full sail through the canal. The officers of this fleet were very polite, and paid me every applause and congratulation my exploits could merit. They told me of their affairs in India, and the ferocity of that dreadful warrior³⁶, Tippoo Sahib, on which I resolved to go to India and encounter the tyrant. I travelled down the Red Sea to Madras, and at the head of a few Sepoys and Europeans pursued the flying army of Tippoo to the gates of Seringapatam. I challenged him to mortal combat, and, mounted on my steed, rode up to the walls of the fortress³⁷ amidst a storm of shells and cannon-balls. As fast as the bombs and cannon-balls came upon me, I caught them in my hands like so many

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