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HOME > Classical Novels > The Man Who Was Thursday A Nightmare > CHAPTER XIV. THE SIX PHILOSOPHERS
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CHAPTER XIV. THE SIX PHILOSOPHERS
 ACROSS green fields, and breaking through blooming hedges, six draggled detectives, about five miles out of London. The of the party had at first proposed that they should follow the balloon across South England in hansom-cabs. But he was ultimately convinced of the refusal of the balloon to follow the roads, and the still more persistent refusal of the cabmen to follow the balloon. Consequently the tireless though travellers broke through black and ploughed through ploughed fields till each was turned into a figure too to be mistaken for a tramp. Those green hills of Surrey saw the final and tragedy of the admirable light grey suit in which Syme had set out from Saffron Park. His silk hat was broken over his nose by a swinging , his coat-tails were torn to the shoulder by arresting thorns, the clay of England was splashed up to his collar; but he still carried his yellow beard forward with a silent and furious determination, and his eyes were still on that floating ball of gas, which in the full flush of sunset seemed coloured like a sunset cloud.  
“After all,” he said, “it is very beautiful!”
 
“It is singularly and strangely beautiful!” said the Professor. “I wish the beastly gas-bag would burst!”
 
“No,” said Dr. Bull, “I hope it won’t. It might hurt the old boy.”
 
“Hurt him!” said the Professor, “hurt him! Not as much as I’d hurt him if I could get up with him. Little Snowdrop!”
 
“I don’t want him hurt, somehow,” said Dr. Bull.
 
“What!” cried the Secretary bitterly. “Do you believe all that tale about his being our man in the dark room? Sunday would say he was anybody.”
 
“I don’t know whether I believe it or not,” said Dr. Bull. “But it isn’t that that I mean. I can’t wish old Sunday’s balloon to burst because—”
 
“Well,” said Syme impatiently, “because?”
 
“Well, because he’s so jolly like a balloon himself,” said Dr. Bull . “I don’t understand a word of all that idea of his being the same man who gave us all our blue cards. It seems to make everything nonsense. But I don’t care who knows it, I always had a sympathy for old Sunday himself, wicked as he was. Just as if he was a great bouncing baby. How can I explain what my queer sympathy was? It didn’t prevent my fighting him like hell! Shall I make it clear if I say that I liked him because he was so fat?”
 
“You will not,” said the Secretary.
 
“I’ve got it now,” cried Bull, “it was because he was so fat and so light. Just like a balloon. We always think of fat people as heavy, but he could have danced against a sylph. I see now what I mean. Moderate strength is shown in violence, strength is shown in . It was like the old speculations—what would happen if an elephant could leap up in the sky like a ?”
 
“Our elephant,” said Syme, looking , “has leapt into the sky like a grasshopper.”
 
“And somehow,” concluded Bull, “that’s why I can’t help old Sunday. No, it’s not an of force, or any silly thing like that. There is a kind of gaiety in the thing, as if he were bursting with some good news. Haven’t you sometimes felt it on a spring day? You know Nature plays tricks, but somehow that day proves they are good-natured tricks. I never read the Bible myself, but that part they laugh at is literal truth, ‘Why leap ye, ye high hills?’ The hills do leap—at least, they try to.... Why do I like Sunday?... how can I tell you?... because he’s such a Bounder.”
 
There was a long silence, and then the Secretary said in a curious, strained voice—
 
“You do not know Sunday at all. Perhaps it is because you are better than I, and do not know hell. I was a fierce fellow, and a trifle from the first. The man who sits in darkness, and who chose us all, chose me because I had all the crazy look of a conspirator—because my smile went , and my eyes were gloomy, even when I smiled. But there must have been something in me that answered to the nerves in all these anarchic men. For when I first saw Sunday he expressed to me, not your airy , but something both gross and sad in the Nature of Things. I found him smoking in a room, a room with brown blind down, more depressing than the darkness in which our master lives. He sat there on a bench, a huge heap of a man, dark and out of shape. He listened to all my words without speaking or even stirring. I poured out my most appeals, and asked my most questions. Then, after a long silence, the Thing began to shake, and I thought it was shaken by some secret . It shook like a and living jelly. It reminded me of everything I had ever read about the base bodies that are the origin of life—the deep sea lumps and protoplasm. It seemed like the final form of matter, the most shapeless and the most . I could only tell myself, from its shudderings, that it was something at least that such a monster could be . And then it broke upon me that the mountain was shaking with a lonely laughter, and the laughter was at me. Do you ask me to forgive him that? It is no small thing to be laughed at by something at once lower and stronger than oneself.”
 
“Surely you fellows are exaggerating wildly,” cut in the clear voice of Ratcliffe. “President Sunday is a terrible fellow for one’s intellect, but he is not such a Barnum’s freak as you make out. He received me in an ordinary office, in a grey check coat, in broad daylight. He talked to me in an ordinary way. But I’ll tell you what is a trifle creepy about Sunday. His room is neat, his clothes are neat, everything seems in order; but he’s absent-minded. Sometimes his great bright eyes go quite blind. For hours he forgets that you are there. Now absent-mindedness is just a bit too awful in a bad man. We think of a wicked man as . We can’t think of a wicked man who is honestly and sincerely dreamy, because we daren’t think of a wicked man alone with himself. An absentminded man means a good-natured man. It means a man who, if he happens to see you, will apologise. But how will you bear an absentminded man who, if he happens to see you, will kill you? That is what tries the nerves, abstraction combined with cruelty. Men have felt it sometimes when they went through wild forests, and felt that the animals there were at once innocent and pitiless. They might ignore or . How would you like to pass ten mortal hours in a parlour with an absent-minded tiger?”
 
“And what do you think of Sunday, Gogol?” asked Syme.
 
“I don’t think of Sunday on principle,” said Gogol simply, “any more than I stare at the sun at noonday.”
 
“Well, that is a point of view,” said Syme thoughtfully. “What do you say, Professor?”
 
The Professor was walking with head and trailing stick, and he did not answer at all.
 
“Wake up, Professor!” said Syme . “Tell us what you think of Sunday.”
 
The Professor at last very slowly.
 
“I think something,” he said, “that I cannot say clearly. Or, rather, I think something that I cannot even think clearly. But it is something like this. My early life, as you know, was a bit too large and loose.
 
“Well, when I saw Sunday’s face I thought it was too large—everybody does, but I also thought it was too loose. The face was so big, that one couldn’t focus it or make it a face at all. The eye was so far away from the nose, that it wasn’t an eye. The mouth was so much by itself, that one had to think of it by itself. The whole thing is too hard to explain.”
 
He paused for a little, still trailing his stick, and then went on—
 
“But put it this way. Walking up a road at night, I have seen a lamp and a lighted window and a cloud make together a most complete and unmistakable face. If anyone in heaven has that face I shall know him again. Yet when I walked a little farther I found that there was no face, that the window was ten yards away, the lamp ten hundred yards, the cloud beyond the world. Well, Sunday’s face escaped me; it ran away to right and left, as such chance pictures run away. And so his face has made me, somehow, doubt whether there are any faces. I don’t know whether your face, Bull, is a face or a combination in perspective. Perhaps one black disc of your beastly glasses is quite close and another fifty miles away. Oh, the doubts of a are not worth a dump. Sunday has taught me the last and the worst doubts, the doubts of a spiritualist. I am a , I suppose; and is not a , it is a doubt. My poor dear Bull, I do not believe that you really have a face. I have not faith enough to believe in matter.”
 
Syme’s eyes were still fixed upon the errant , which, reddened in the evening light, looked like some and more innocent world.
 
“Have you noticed an odd thing,” he said, “about all your descriptions? Each man of you finds Sunday quite different, yet each man of you can only find one thing to compare him to—the universe itself. Bull finds him like the earth in spring, Gogol like the sun at noonday. The Secretary is reminded of the shapeless protoplasm, and the Inspector of the carelessness of forests. The Professor says he is like a changing landscape. This is queer, but it is queerer still that I also have had my odd notion about the President, and I also find that I think of Sunday as I think of the whole world.”
 
“Get on a little faster, Syme,” said Bull; “never mind the balloon.”
 
“When I first saw Sunday,” said Syme slowly, “I only saw his back; and when I saw his back, I knew he was the worst man in the world. His neck and shoulders were , like those of some apish god. His head had a stoop that was hardly human, like the stoop of an ox. In fact, I had at once the revolting fancy that this was not a man at all, but a beast dressed up in men’s clothes.”
 
“Get on,” said Dr. Bull.
 
“And then the queer thing happened. I had seen his back from the street, as he sat in the balcony. Then I entered the hotel, and coming round the other side of him, saw his face in the sunlight. His face frightened me, as it did everyone; but not because it was brutal, not because it was evil. On the contrary, it frightened me because it was so beautiful, because it was so good.”
 
“Syme,” exclaimed the Secretary, “are you ill?”
 
“It was like the face of some ancient archangel, judging justly after heroic wars. There was laughter in the eyes, and in the mouth honour and sorrow. There was the same white hair, the same great, grey-clad shoulders that I had seen from behind. But when I saw him from behind I was certain he was an animal, and when I saw him in front I knew he was a god.”
 
“Pan,” said the Professor dreamily, “was a god and an animal.”
 
“Then, and again and always,” went on Syme like a man talking to himself, “that has been for me the mystery of Sunday, and it is also the mystery of the world. When I see the horrible back, I am sure the noble face is but a mask. When I see the face but for an instant, I know the back is only a jest. Bad is so bad, that we cannot but think good an accident; good is so good, that we feel certain that evil could be explained. But the whole came to a kind of ............
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