As the anxious mother bird watches day after day, while keeping her eggs warm, for the sound of the little tapping from the inside followed by the soft bill and wondering eyes of her little ones, so did your mother anxiously watch and pray for the coming of her helpless baby.
In her warm nest, the womb, you lay from the meeting of the two cells until your tiny body was completely formed. This was a period of nine months. Then you were born.
No boy or man can have a full appreciation of all he owes a mother until this wonderful work of nature is thoroughly implanted on his memory, never to be effaced. While the period of watching and waiting is only nine months, to the mother it is a whole lifetime. For to her it means ALL her life—sometimes she gives her life for yours. Think what wondrous love there must be for a woman to run the risk with pleasure and happiness. Every moment of these nine months the mother has her mind upon one thing: the tiny life growing[68] in her womb, nourished by her blood, given oxygen through her breath, brought into the world smiling and laughing because the mother is laughing and smiling. And her one hope is that you will be able to go through your life smiling and laughing; that you will so live and grow that both of you can show to the world the most powerful searchlight known to man: the light which shines from a pure face and healthy mind. And such a light is far more penetrating than you have ever realized. It searches out truth, it reflects your mother’s face even after she has gone; it makes others happy and brings hope to many worried homes. And it is your mother who lights this bright ray of a pure mind; but it is your duty to keep the flame and reflector ever active and shining.
Thousands of boys and men have brought tears and dimmed the once bright eyes of their mothers. They have not consciously done so. It is against all nature for a boy to deliberately inflict pain and grief upon his mother. When he does, it is because he has been ignorant of all his mother has gone through for him. He has never been told in plain talks just all his mother worried and suffered while waiting for him to make his appearance on this earth. He never fully realized how she often dragged herself around weighted with his little body; how her nights[69] were sleepless on his account; how she worked, sacrificed and planned for him. He never knew how careful she was about her food so he might grow strong while in her womb; how she forced herself to walk when every step was an effort, how she tried to keep her mind upon pleasant subjects and to read only such books as might send pleasant and beneficial impulses to his then unconscious mind.
When you have reached eight or ten years of age you have never been told how careful you should be to use kind words and be ever on the watch to help your mother in little things, because there is a little sister or brother growing in your mother’s womb who will soon be in the cradle. No, you have of course been told to be always kind to her; to help her in little matters; but JUST why you should now be more careful than usual has been kept from you. So if you have been cross and disobedient at times; brought tears to your mother, and who knows but unconscious tears to the little unborn one, you are not wholly to blame. You didn’t know, and nine times out of ten, if you asked questions about how babies come, you were put off with queer answers or else told not to ask such questions. The fault has been in a wrong idea of instruction. Your mother was never allowed to know when she was a child; your father[70] picked up what knowledge he could from older boys, which was generally wrong knowledge gathered from another generation of boys, and your teachers and those of your parents were either criminally silent or themselves ignorant.
From all this false attitude of teachers has grown much of the misery and disease which is with us to-day. It is my intention to have this misery and disease abolished, and it can be done by giving you the information your parents and teachers did not possess until too late. All information regarding right sex living and care should be in the possession of the boy and youth while they can utilize such information. Of what use is it to you after the harm has been done through ignorance? No use; more—it does much harm when it comes too late.
“Oh, Doctor; if I had only known. Can I never be a well man again? Why didn’t my teachers and parents tell me all this was wrong?”
I am going to try to stop the cause for these pitiable cries so that in your and future generations they shall be no longer heard.
In the same manner you have been kept from knowing the absolute necessity of attending to the sex organs with the absence of any ideas except those of cleanliness. It is as[71] reasonable for you to clean the teeth and leave the wax to accumulate in the ears until deafness follows, as it is to wash your hands and neglect the penis.
Your sex organ needs attention at an early age. If you have parents who understand this matter, they have instructed you in the details; but if you are like most boys, these have been left to chance and possible wrong treatment.
The gland of the penis secretes a cheesy material. This is constantly being poured out in small quantities and unless cleaned away will at first become offensive to the nostrils, then irritating and in some cases proceed to an inflammation which will require the services of a surgeon.
But to begin with the small boy. He should pull back the foreskin every morning as he washes, and with a soft cloth soaked in warm water, remove all the accumulation. Do it carefully; but don’t forget to do it, even if you have to let the face go. The reason for being so particular about this matter I shall explain further on in these Chats.
If your foreskin is too long, or if it hangs over so as to retain some drops of urine after you have relieved the bladder, go first to your father; and if you are so unfortunate as not to have a father or mother to whom you can[72] go in these matters—and I know there are many such—go to your doctor and explain to him.
Many boys are far better off when circumcised. This is a simple little operation—just the snipping off the overhanging foreskin. If your parents have been wise and instructed in this necessary detail of the sex toilet, you will have been circumcised when a baby. But you cannot blame them if it has been neglected. However, your boy will have a right to blame you if he is allowed to be a victim of irritation and inflammation of the penis when he is a youth.
As you grow older this detail of the toilet becomes more and more necessary, for at puberty—fourteen to sixteen years of age—all your glands become very active, and those of the penis especially so.
I have told you in the first Chat about the bad effects of allowing your bowels to retain matter that should always be kept out of the body. The absorption of the poisons from this dead stuff left from food causes headaches, laziness and in time affects the complexion. It is a lot of natural filth left in the pocket of the lower bowel which Nature intends should be thrown out daily. There are muscles in this bowel or pocket especially for this purpose. If you neglect to work the[73] muscles placed for this purpose, they soon become weak, inactive and refuse to perform their duty unless irritated by some drug, salts or castor oil. In a healthy boy—one who has taken any decent care of himself—these medicines are never needed. If such methods to make the muscles of the lower bowel work are constantly used, the muscles lose their tone and of course usefulness. Then in later life the veins become full of black blood, swell and often burst. These swollen veins are generally called piles. You see how you can avoid these disagreeable things, which are only plain signs that the man or boy has kept in his lower bowel filthy stuff. Just think for a moment; would you allow filthy stuff to remain in your pocket? Of course not; yet if this stuff were kept there, it would not do you physical harm. It would be a little disagreeable, I admit, but not bring about the ill health it does when kept in the pocket of the bowel.
Now, when you have the gland of the penis inflamed from the gathering of the matter behind it, you can readily see how it may be aggravated by any other dead material in the same region of the body. And this region in the growing boy is very sensitive to all disturbances. So here is another reason why you should empty your bowels EVERY day.
You will ask: Why is this secretion coming[74] behind the gland of the penis harmful if it is natural?
It is there to keep the gland and its covering from growing together. If it were not there the urine would irritate and inflame the parts. Whenever we have inflammation we have a tendency to growth. Under these circumstances the covering of the penis would adhere to the gland, and then would come great trouble.
The secretion is a sort of oil for the sliding parts. But this oil has to be renewed by fresh oil—this is the reason for washing the old, rancid oil and letting fresh oil take its place. Again, if this rancid secretion is allowed to remain it becomes absorbed and then you have another poison in your system.
It is useless for a boy to try to become a strong man unless his sex organs have the best of care. I don’t mean that you should keep your mind upon the subject; quite the contrary. If you have kept them clean and attended to the little matters I have mentioned, your mind will not be upon the sex organs. If you wash your teeth every day and have them always in good condition, you do not think of them. You chew your food thinking of the coming ball game—not of your teeth. But if you neglect them soon come pain and trouble; then in spite of all the thinking of the next[75] ball game, your mind WILL go to those awful teeth.
Just so with your sex organs; a decent regard for their care drives out all thoughts but what are necessary and decent.
The neglect or abuse of the sex organs—this latter subject we shall have a plain talk about—affects all the other portions of the body. It causes stupidity and soft muscles. Sometimes big muscles will be seen in a youth who has neglected the toilet of his organs. But these muscles are fatty muscles. They do not contain strong, blood-red fibres of true muscles. Moreover, the FORCE behind these muscles, the nerve cells, are themselves weakened by the absorption of secretions and the whole general effect of the unclean and often abused parts.
Remember this fact: You cannot perform big deeds when a man if you have neglected the little ones belonging to the development of your body. The foundation of every big structure, brain or building, is the essential part of the work. Unless this is built upon solid ground and of solid material, ruin comes when pressure is brought to bear.
I have seen hundreds of men with powerful brains and intellects unable to utilize them because their foundations for withstanding[76] pressure were weak. And it was ever the same old cry: “No one ever told me, Doctor!”
At an early age you will be faced by a great injury to all boys. It is the appearance in the public schools of smutty pictures, lecherous talk and nasty stories. Now all these go to make for a weak foundation. If you have grasped the full sense of sex life,—what it means to your future, what it can do for a glorious life or a miserable end,—you will shun such nasty things as you would a boy with the smallpox. I want you all to know everything about sex life; but smut and filth are not connected with this knowledge. They have nothing to do with sex development. Nothing more to do with a full appreciation of the powers growing in you than the ulcers of a foul disease have to do with the growth of a healthful skin.
These nasty tales and pictures befoul a good mind. In listening or looking you are simply allowing your growing brain to wallow in a pigsty of thought. Scientific books on sex life, all the real knowledge you can obtain covering the real meaning of life, are proper reading. It is not necessary to roll in a manure heap to understand the care and diseases of cows. It is not necessary, but harmful, to live in an atmosphere of vice and mental filth to understand man and woman.
[77]
So you can see that it is as important to keep the mind clean as it is any organ. For one affects the other. If you have an unclean mind, poisons flowing through the brain from filthy talk, you will find that the sex organs will feel the effect. This is a dangerous state. Clean both at once and keep them clean as they grow.
Why, boys, there is scarcely one of your waking dreams of big deeds that is not possible of being true if you keep a mind clean for big thoughts and work. But this mind cannot work if it has to compete with foul matter working alongside.
If you were engaged upon some delicate work and had a chap working alongside of you who pulled down as fast as you built up, what would you do? Throw that fellow out. Of course. Well, if he gets along inside of your good thoughts, throw HIM out.
At this early age in your career I would not advise you to attempt any missionary work among those boys of evil thoughts and acts. Just let them alone; have nothing to do with them. This will appeal to such boys much more than any attempt at “goody-goody” talk. I don’t believe in this kind of education for the boys of vicious habits; it doesn’t appeal to them. What you can do if they ask questions is to show them the PRACTICAL side of the[78] whole matter: That you want to be a strong man, a man who can do things, a man whose children will bless instead of curse him.
Sometimes it is necessary to smash a boy who makes evil suggestions to you. Don’t talk to him, smash him in the face. Smash him good and hard. Remember that if you have followed my advice and directions you will have much more strength than a boy of evil thoughts and habits. Such a one will be a coward; even if he LOOKS larger than you.
But beyond all, don’t blame such a boy; don’t unjustly blame him for what he is. Perhaps he had not had the chances you have had. Possibly he has had no parents to care for him and his associations have been such that he cannot see the good in life. Remember that such a boy has some good in him; often he wants to be the right kind of a fellow but does not know how. After you have licked him—if he makes any really bad suggestions—then he may become your good friend. If so, then you can tell him what you know. But no preaching, mind you. Don’t try to make him think you are any better than he is. Just let him understand that you know what is necessary to make a strong and successful man. Then he will want to know.