Windsor Castle July 1172 I sat in royal splendor at table with all the great lords of the kingdom arrayed about me like stars. Some sat at the high table with me, but many seats stood vacant: my son’s, which would not be filled that day, and also Alais’ chair, and the king’s. I called for my wine, because my steward had not brought it as he always did. There was some tumult among the house servants; it seemed my silver ewer had been mislaid, so that my wine was brought to me in a vessel of gold. I raised one hand, and had my steward taste my wine there in front of me. When he did not fall retching, I let him pour it into the golden goblet that stood by It was good to drink from gold, better than silver, except that I had not called for it, which meant that someone else had. I drank my wine, but the food sat untouched on the trencher before me. All the hall waited, as I did, for the king to come in and begin the feast. No one would eat a grape or a morsel of squab until the king had come and seated himself among us, and raised the first bite to his own lips. There was laughter in the hall that night, but to my court-trained ears, the sound was false, and rang with fear. I wondered if they feared for Richard still, for another confrontation between the king and my son. Richard was tucked safe away, half a day’s ride from court. He would stay there until I called for him. I had yet to make his peace with the king. So something else kept the courtiers on edge. The Earl of Hertford raised his glass to me in salute, but would not meet my eyes. One of my own ladies laughed behind her hand. It was then that I began to know that whatever these people feared had something to do with me. I felt but did not see the eyes of the lower tables raised to me. They stared at me, and whispered, but whenever I turned my head their way, as if to ask one of my ladies a question, the courtiers at the lower tables shifted their gaze from mine, as if I might read their lips, or their thoughts.
Henry’s castellan came to me, his piggy eyes averted out of fear. This man hated me, as so many of Henry’s men did, especially the men who lived at Windsor. He thought me a whore and worse, no doubt, though I had never cuckolded Henry in all the years we had been married. I knew my husband. It would not have been worth my life to defy him in that way; Henry would not have killed me outright, but he would have locked me away if I had ever betrayed him. This man was a fool, and hated me for no other reason than that I had held the king’s ear for years longer than anyone else ever had. His eyes shifted away from mine, and I knew that he hated me still. Henry’s castellan bowed low to me, as if he respected me. I saw then his fear of me was real, and I leaned back on the cushions of my chair, smiling. Whatever was going on, it must be good news indeed to make this man bow so low. “Your Grace,” he said, his voice not even stumbling over my title, as if he honored me. “The king is not coming to the hall this night.” I held myself very still. My smile did not fade. “Indeed. Did His Majesty send word telling us why?” He flushed, the pale skin of his sweaty face turning red with the effort not to breathe in my presence. He bowed again, very low. “No, Your Grace. I believe the king is taken ill.” “But you are not certain.” “No, Your Grace. I am not.” I raised one hand, and he withdrew, still bowing, backing away from me as if I were a lion that might maul him if he turned his back on me. I caught Marie Helene’s eye. She was sitting next to Alais’ empty chair. I heard a muffled laugh from the end of the high table, and something in its tone touched my heart with cold. I called Marie Helene to me. She came at once, her eyes averted, as everyone’s eyes were averted from mine that night. Whatever news was being bandied about the court regarding my husband, everyone had heard already. Everyone but me. She sat beside me when I gave her leave, in the chair that would have been Richard’s had he been there. Still, she would not meet my eyes. I touched her hand, once, very briefly Surprised, her blue eyes met mine. “You served me, Marie Helene, for years before you served Alais. Is this not so?” “It is, Your Grace. I serve you still.” “Indeed. But you serve her first.” This time her blue gaze did not drop from mine. “Yes, Your Majesty. I serve the Princess Alais.” I sighed, and sat back once more against my cushions, lifting my cup of gold, taking a sip of my newly watered wine. “That is fitting,” I said. “I would ask you a question, Marie Helene. I could ask it of another woman, to win her loyalty, to flatter her, so that in days to come she may sit close and flatter me. Or I could ask one of my spies, who serve me for gold, and for fear, and they would tell me. But I would rather ask you. Do you know why that is?” “Because I do not lie?” she asked. In spite of all the years she had lived in my court, she was still naive, as Alais was. She still believed in honor and in duty. No doubt, she even kept her given word. I sipped my wine in its golden goblet, and wondered where my silver one had been taken, and to whom. My spies would tell me that before the meal was done, but for now, I spoke to Marie Helene, the woman to whom I had given my daughter’s keeping. “Marie Helene, I ask you because you love me. Am I wrong in saying that?” I saw the pain on her face, the pain of divided loyalty. She knew, no doubt, as all the court did, that Alais and I had quarreled over Richard. Being close to Alais, she no doubt knew more than most. She met my eyes. I saw that, in spite of her other loyalties, she would not lie to me. “You are not wrong, Your Majesty. I love you, as all men do.” I waved her attempt at flattery away. “We need not trouble ourselves with niceties, Marie Helene. I want only the truth. Will you give it?” “If it lies in my power, Your Grace.” “Very well. Tell me what the court is whispering. Tell me, where is the king?” She did not look away, though I knew she wanted to. She was honest, as Alais was honest, which was why I left her to serve my daughter without asking her to spy for me. I had plenty of spies, and Alais had needed a friend. She had found one in Marie Helene. “Your Grace, it is news that............