SHOWING THAT AN ATTACK OFRHEUMATISM, IN SOME CASES, ACTS AS AQUICKENER TO INVENTIVE GENIU
She constitution of Mr. Pickwick, though able to sustain avery considerable amount of exertion and fatigue, was notproof against such a combination of attacks as he hadundergone on the memorable night, recorded in the last chapter.

　　The process of being washed in the night air, and rough-dried in acloset, is as dangerous as it is peculiar. Mr. Pickwick was laid upwith an attack of rheumatism.

　　But although the bodily powers of the great man were thusimpaired, his mental energies retained their pristine vigour. Hisspirits were elastic; his good-humour was restored. Even thevexation consequent upon his recent adventure had vanishedfrom his mind; and he could join in the hearty laughter, which anyallusion to it excited in Mr. Wardle, without anger and withoutembarrassment. Nay, more. During the two days Mr. Pickwick wasconfined to bed, Sam was his constant attendant. On the first, heendeavoured to amuse his master by anecdote and conversation;on the second, Mr. Pickwick demanded his writing-desk, and penand ink, and was deeply engaged during the whole day. On thethird, being able to sit up in his bedchamber, he despatched hisvalet with a message to Mr. Wardle and Mr. Trundle, intimatingthat if they would take their wine there, that evening, they wouldgreatly oblige him. The invitation was most willingly accepted; andwhen they were seated over their wine, Mr. Pickwick, with sundryblushes, produced the following little tale, as having been ‘edited’

　　by himself, during his recent indisposition, from his notes of Mr.

　　Weller’s unsophisticated recital.

　　THE PARISH CLERKA Tale Of True Love‘Once upon a time, in a very small country town, at a considerabledistance from London, there lived a little man named NathanielPipkin, who was the parish clerk of the little town, and lived in alittle house in the little High Street, within ten minutes’ walk fromthe little church; and who was to be found every day, from nine tillfour, teaching a little learning to the little boys. Nathaniel Pipkinwas a harmless, inoffensive, good-natured being, with a turned-upnose, and rather turned-in legs, a cast in his eye, and a halt in hisgait; and he divided his time between the church and his school,verily believing that there existed not, on the face of the earth, soclever a man as the curate, so imposing an apartment as thevestry-room, or so well-ordered a seminary as his own. Once, andonly once, in his life, Nathaniel Pipkin had seen a bishop―a realbishop, with his arms in lawn sleeves, and his head in a wig. Hehad seen him walk, and heard him talk, at a confirmation, onwhich momentous occasion Nathaniel Pipkin was so overcomewith reverence and awe, when the aforesaid bishop laid his handon his head, that he fainted right clean away, and was borne out ofchurch in the arms of the beadle.

　　‘This was a great event, a tremendous era, in Nathaniel Pipkin’slife, and it was the only one that had ever occurred to ruffle thesmooth current of his quiet existence, when happening one fineafternoon, in a fit of mental abstraction, to raise his eyes from theslate on which he was devising some tremendous problem incompound addition for an offending urchin to solve, they suddenlyrested on the blooming countenance of Maria Lobbs, the onlydaughter of old Lobbs, the great saddler over the way. Now, theeyes of Mr. Pipkin had rested on the pretty face of Maria Lobbsmany a time and oft before, at church and elsewhere; but the eyesof Maria Lobbs had never looked so bright, the cheeks of MariaLobbs had never looked so ruddy, as upon this particularoccasion. No wonder then, that Nathaniel Pipkin was unable totake his eyes from the countenance of Miss Lobbs; no wonder thatMiss Lobbs, finding herself stared at by a young man, withdrewher head from the window out of which she had been peeping, andshut the casement and pulled down the blind; no wonder thatNathaniel Pipkin, immediately thereafter, fell upon the youngurchin who had previously offended, and cuffed and knocked himabout to his heart’s content. All this was very natural, and there’snothing at all to wonder at about it.

　　‘It is matter of wonder, though, that anyone of Mr. NathanielPipkin’s retiring disposition, nervous temperament, and mostparticularly diminutive income, should from this day forth, havedared to aspire to the hand and heart of the only daughter of thefiery old Lobbs―of old Lobbs, the great saddler, who could havebought up the whole village at one stroke of his pen, and never feltthe outlay―old Lobbs, who was well known to have heaps ofmoney, invested in the bank at the nearest market town―who wasreported to have countless and inexhaustible treasures hoardedup in the little iron safe with the big keyhole, over the chimney-piece in the back parlour―and who, it was well known, on festiveoccasions garnished his board with a real silver teapot, cream-ewer, and sugar-basin, which he was wont, in the pride of hisheart, to boast should be his daughter’s property when she found aman to her mind. I repeat it, to be matter of profoundastonishment and intense wonder, that Nathaniel Pipkin shouldhave had the temerity to cast his eyes in this direction. But love isblind; and Nathaniel had a cast in his eye; and perhaps these twocircumstances, taken together, prevented his seeing the matter inits proper light.

　　‘Now, if old Lobbs had entertained the most remote or distantidea of the state of the affections of Nathaniel Pipkin, he wouldjust have razed the school-room to the ground, or exterminated itsmaster from the surface of the earth, or committed some otheroutrage and atrocity of an equally ferocious and violentdescription; for he was a terrible old fellow, was Lobbs, when hispride was injured, or his blood was up. Swear! Such trains of oathswould come rolling and pealing over the way, sometimes, when hewas denouncing the idleness of the bony apprentice with the thinlegs, that Nathaniel Pipkin would shake in his shoes with horror,and the hair of the pupils’ heads would stand on end with fright.

　　‘Well! Day after day, when school was over, and the pupils gone,did Nathaniel Pipkin sit himself down at the front window, and,while he feigned to be reading a book, throw sidelong glances overthe way in search of the bright eyes of Maria Lobbs; and he hadn’tsat there many days, before the bright eyes appeared at an upperwindow, apparently deeply engaged in reading too. This wasdelightful, and gladdening to the heart of Nathaniel Pipkin. It wassomething to sit there for hours together, and look upon thatpretty face when the eyes were cast down; but when Maria Lobbsbegan to raise her eyes from her book, and dart their rays in thedirection of Nathaniel Pipkin, his delight and admiration wereperfectly boundless. At last, one day when he knew old Lobbs wasout, Nathaniel Pipkin had the temerity to kiss his hand to MariaLobbs; and Maria Lobbs, instead of shutting the window, andpulling down the blind, kissed hers to him, and smiled. Uponwhich Nathaniel Pipkin determined, that, come what might, hewould develop the state of his feelings, without further delay.

　　‘A prettier foot, a gayer heart, a more dimpled face, or a smarterform, never bounded so lightly over the earth they graced, as didthose of Maria Lobbs, the old saddler’s daughter. There was aroguish twinkle in her sparkling eyes, that would have made itsway to far less susceptible bosoms than that of Nathaniel Pipkin;and there was such a joyous sound in her merry laugh, that thesternest misanthrope must have smiled to hear it. Even old Lobbshimself, in the very height of his ferocity, couldn’t resist thecoaxing of his pretty daughter; and when she, and her cousinKate―an arch, impudent-looking, bewitching little person―madea dead set upon the old man together, as, to say the truth, theyvery often did, he could have refused them nothing, even had theyasked for a portion of the countless and inexhaustible treasures,which were hidden from the light, in the iron safe.

　　‘Nathaniel Pipkin’s heart beat high within him, when he sawthis enticing little couple some hundred yards before him onesummer’s evening, in the very field in which he had many a timestrolled about till night-time, and pondered on the beauty of MariaLobbs. But though he had often thought then, how briskly hewould walk up to Maria Lobbs and tell her of his passion if hecould only meet her, he felt, now that she was unexpectedly beforehim, all the blood in his body mounting to his face, manifestly tothe great detriment of his legs, which, deprived of their usualportion, trembled beneath him. When they stopped to gather ahedge flower, or listen to a bird, Nathaniel Pipkin stopped too, andpretended to be absorbed in meditation, as indeed he really was;for he was thinking what on earth he should ever do, when theyturned back, as they inevitably must in time, and meet him face toface. But though he was afraid to make up to them, he couldn’tbear to lose sight of them; so when they walked faster he walkedfaster, when they lingered he lingered, and when they stopped hestopped; and so they might have gone on, until the darknessprevented them, if Kate had not looked slyly back, andencouragingly beckoned Nathaniel to advance. There wassomething in Kate’s manner that was not to be resisted, and soNathaniel Pipkin complied with the invitation; and after a greatdeal of blushing on his part, and immoderate laughter on that ofthe wicked little cousin, Nathaniel Pipkin went down on his kneeson the dewy grass, and declared his resolution to remain there forever, unless he were permitted to rise the accepted lover of MariaLobbs. Upon this, the merry laughter of Miss Lobbs rang throughthe calm evening air―without seeming to disturb it, though; it hadsuch a pleasant sound―and the wicked little cousin laughed moreimmoderately than b............