I proceed to other passages of my narrative. From the goodness ofall about me I derived such consolation as I can never think ofunmoved. I have already said so much of myself, and so much stillremains, that I will not dwell upon my sorrow. I had an illness,but it was not a long one; and I would avoid even this mention ofit if I could quite keep down the recollection of their sympathy.
I proceed to other passages of my narrative.
During the time of my illness, we were still in London, where Mrs.
Woodcourt had come, on my guardian's invitation, to stay with us.
When my guardian thought me well and cheerful enough to talk withhim in our old way--though I could have done that sooner if hewould have believed me--I resumed my work and my chair beside his.
He had appointed the time himself, and we were alone.
"Dame Trot," said he, receiving me with a kiss, "welcome to thegrowlery again, my dear. I have a scheme to develop, little woman.
I propose to remain here, perhaps for six months, perhaps for alonger time--as it may be. Quite to settle here for a while, inshort.""And in the meanwhile leave Bleak House?" said I.
"Aye, my dear? Bleak House," he returned, "must learn to take careof itself."I thought his tone sounded sorrowful, but looking at him, I saw hiskind face lighted up by its pleasantest smile.
"Bleak House," he repeated--and his tone did NOT sound sorrowful, Ifound--"must learn to take care of itself. It is a long way fromAda, my dear, and Ada stands much in need of you.""It's like you, guardian," said I, "to have been taking that intoconsideration for a happy surprise to both of us.""Not so disinterested either, my dear, if you mean to extol me forthat virtue, since if you were generally on the road, you could beseldom with me. And besides, I wish to hear as much and as oftenof Ada as I can in this condition of estrangement from poor Rick.
Not of her alone, but of him too, poor fellow.""Have you seen Mr. Woodcourt, this morning, guardian?""I see Mr. Woodcourt every morning, Dame Durden.""Does he still say the same of Richard?""Just the same. He knows of no direct bodily illness that he has;on the contrary, he believes that he has none. Yet he is not easyabout him; who CAN be?"My dear girl had been to see us lately every day, some times twicein a day. But we had foreseen, all along, that this would onlylast until I was quite myself. We knew full well that her ferventheart was as full of affection and gratitude towards her cousinJohn as it had ever been, and we acquitted Richard of laying anyinjunctions upon her to stay away; but we knew on the other handthat she felt it a part of her duty to him to be sparing of hervisits at our house. My guardian's delicacy had soon perceivedthis and had tried to convey to her that he thought she was right.
"Dear, unfortunate, mistaken Richard," said I. "When will he awakefrom his delusion!""He is not in the way to do so now, my dear," replied my guardian.
"The more he suffers, the more averse he will be to me, having mademe the principal representative of the great occasion of hissuffering."I could not help adding, "So unreasonably!""Ah, Dame Trot, Dame Trot," returned my guardian, "what shall wefind reasonable in Jarndyce and Jarndyce! Unreason and injusticeat the top, unreason and injustice at the heart and at the bottom,unreason and injustice from beginning to end--if it ever has anend--how should poor Rick, always hovering near it, pluck reasonout of it? He no more gathers grapes from thorns or figs fromthistles than older men did in old times."His gentleness and consideration for Richard whenever we spoke ofhim touched me so that I was always silent on this subject verysoon.
"I suppose the Lord Chancellor, and the Vice Chancellors, and thewhole Chancery battery of great guns would be infinitely astonishedby such unreason and injustice in one of their suitors," pursued myguardian. "When those learned gentlemen begin to raise moss-rosesfrom the powder they sow in their wigs, I shall begin to beastonished too!"He checked himself in glancing towards the window to look where thewind was and leaned on the back of my chair instead.
"Well, well, little woman! To go on, my dear. This rock we mustleave to time, chance, and hopeful circumstance. We must notshipwreck Ada upon it. She cannot afford, and he cannot afford,the remotest chance of another separation from a friend. ThereforeI have particularly begged of Woodcourt, and I now particularly begof you, my dear, not to move this subject with Rick. Let it rest.
Next week, next month, next year, sooner or later, he will see mewith clearer eyes. I can wait."But I had already discussed it with him, I confessed; and so, Ithought, had Mr. Woodcourt.
"So he tells me," returned my guardian. "Very good. He has madehis protest, and Dame Durden has made hers, and there is nothingmore to be said about it. Now I come to Mrs. Woodcourt. How doyou like her, my dear?"In answer to this question, which was oddly abrupt, I said I likedher very much and thought she was more agreeable than she used tobe.
"I think so too," said my guardian. "Less pedigree? Not so muchof Morgan ap--what's his name?"That was what I meant, I acknowledged, though he was a veryharmless person, even when we had had more of him.
"Still, upon the whole, he is as well in his native mountains,"said my guardian. "I agree with you. Then, little woman, can I dobetter for a time than retain Mrs. Woodcourt here?"No. And yet--My guardian looked at me, waiting for what I had to say.
I had nothing to say. At least I had nothing in my mind that Icould say. I had an undefined impression that it might have beenbetter if we had had some other inmate, but I could hardly haveexplained why even to myself. Or, if to myself, certainly not toanybody else.
"You see," said my guardian, "our neighbourhood is in Woodcourt'sway, and he can come here to see her as often as he likes, which isagreeable to them both; and she is familiar to us and fond of you."Yes. That was undeniable. I had nothing to say against it. Icould not have suggested a better arrangement, but I was not quiteeasy in my mind. Esther, Esther, why not? Esther, think!
"It is a very good plan indeed, dear guardian, and we could not dobetter.""Sure, little woman?"Quite sure. I had had a moment's time to think, since I had urgedthat duty on myself, and I was quite sure.
"Good," said my guardian. "It shall be done. Carriedunanimously.""Carried unanimously," I repeated, going on with my work.
It was a cover for his book-table that I happened to beornamenting. It had been laid by on the night preceding my sadjourney and never resumed. I showed it to him now, and he admiredit highly. After I had explained the pattern to him and all thegreat effects that were to come out by and by, I thought I would goback to our last theme.
"You said, dear guardian, when we spoke of Mr. Woodcourt before Adaleft us, that you thought he would give a long trial to anothercountry. Have you been advising him since?""Yes, little woman, pretty often.""Has he decided to do so?""I rather think not.""Some other prospect has opened to him, perhaps?" said I.
"Why--yes--perhaps," returned my guardian, beginning his answer ina very deliberate manner. "About half a year hence or so, there isa medical attendant for the poor to be appointed at a certain placein Yorkshire. It is a thriving place, pleasantly situated--streamsand streets, town and country, mill and moor--and seems to presentan opening for such a man. I mean a man whose hopes and aims maysometimes lie (as most men's sometimes do, I dare say) above theordinary level, but to whom the ordinary level will be high enoughafter all if it should prove to be a way of usefulness and goodservice leading to no other. All generous spirits are ambitious, Isuppose, but the ambition that calmly trusts itself to such a road,instead of spasmodically trying to fly over it, is of the kind Icare for. It is Woodcourt's kind.""And will he get this appointment?" I asked.
"Why, little woman," returned my guardian, smiling, "not being anoracle, I cannot confidently say, but I think so. His reputationstands very high; there were people from that part of the countryin the shipwreck; and strange to say, I believe the best man hasthe best chance. You must not suppose it to be a fine endowment.
It is a very, very commonplace affair, my dear, an appointment to agreat amount of work and a small amount of pay; but better thingswill gather about it, it may be fairly hoped.""The poor of that place will have reason to bless the choice if itfalls on Mr. Woodcourt, guardian.""You are right, little woman; that I am sure they will."We said no more about it, nor did he say a word about the future ofBleak House. But it was the first time I had taken my seat at hisside in my mourning dress, and that accounted for it, I considered.
I now began to visit my dear girl every day in the dull dark cornerwhere she lived. The morning was my usual time, but whenever Ifound I had an hour or so to spare, I put on my bonnet and bustledoff to Chancery Lane. They were both so glad to see me at allhours, and used to brighten up so when they heard me opening thedoor and coming in (being quite at home, I never knocked), that Ihad no fear of becoming troublesome just yet.
On these occasions I frequently found Richard absent. At othertimes he would be writing or reading papers in the cause at thattable of his, so covered with papers, which was never disturbed.
Sometimes I would come upon him lingering at the door of Mr.
Vholes's office. Sometimes I would meet him in the neighbourhoodlounging about and biting his nails. I often met him wandering inLincoln's Inn, near the place where I had first seen him, oh howdifferent, how different!
That the money Ada brought him was melting away with the candles Iused to see burning after dark in Mr. Vholes's office I knew verywell. It was not a large amount in the beginning, he had marriedin debt, and I could not fail to understand, by this time, what wasmeant by Mr. Vholes's shoulder being at the wheel--as I still heardit was. My dear made the best of housekeepers and tried hard tosave, but I knew that they were getting poorer and poorer everyday.
She shone in the miserable corner like a beautiful star. Sheadorned and graced it so that it became another place. Paler thanshe had been at home, and a little quieter than I had thoughtnatural when she was yet so cheerful and hopeful, her face was sounshadowed that I half believed she was blinded by her love forRichard to his ruinous career.
I went one day to dine with them while I was under this impression.
As I turned into Symond's Inn, I met little Miss Flite coming out.
She had been to make a stately call upon the wards in Jarndyce, asshe still called them, and had derived the highest gratificationfrom that ceremony. Ada had already told me that she called everyMonday at five o'clock, with one little extra white bow in herbonnet, which never appeared there at any other time, and with herlargest reticule of documents on her arm.
"My dear!" she began. "So delighted! How do you do! So glad tosee you. And you are going to visit our interesting Jarndycewards? TO be sure! Our beauty is at home, my dear, and will becharmed to see you.""Then Richard is not come in yet?" said I. "I am glad of that, forI was afraid of being a little late.""No, he is not come in," returned Miss Flite. "He has had a longday in court. I left him there with Vholes. You don't likeVholes, I hope? DON'T like Vholes. Dan-gerous man!""I am afraid you see Richard oftener than ever now," said I.
"My dearest," returned Miss Flite, "daily and hourly. You knowwhat I told you of the attraction on the Chancellor's table? Mydear, next to myself he is the most constant suitor in court. Hebegins quite to amuse our little party. Ve-ry friendly littleparty, are we not?"It was miserable to hear this from her poor mad lips, though it wasno surprise.
"In short, my valued friend," pursued Miss Flite, advancing herlips to my ear with an air of equal patronage and mystery, "I musttell you a secret. I have made him my executor. Nominated,constituted, and appointed him. In my will. Ye-es.""Indeed?" said I.
"Ye-es," repeated Miss Flite in her most genteel accents, "myexecutor, administrator, and assign. (Our Chancery phrases, mylove.) I have reflected that if I should wear out, he will be ableto watch that judgment. Being so very regular in his attendance."It made me sigh to think of him.
"I did at one time mean," said Miss Flite, echoing the sigh, "tonominate, constitute, and appoint poor Gridley. Also very regular,my charming girl. I assure you, most exemplary! But he wore out,poor man, so I have appointed his successor. Don't mention it.
This is in confidence."She carefully opened her reticule a little way and showed me afolded piece of paper inside as the appointment of which she spoke.
"Another secret, my dear. I have added to my collection of birds.""Really, Miss Flite?" said I, knowing how it pleased her to haveher confidence received with an appearance of interest.
She nodded several times, and her face became overcast and gloomy.
"Two more. I call them the Wards in Jarndyce. They are caged upwith all the others. With Hope, Joy, Youth, Peace, Rest, Life,Dust, Ashes, Waste, Want, Ruin, Despair, Madness, Death, Cunning,Folly, Words, Wigs, Rags, Sheepskin, Plunder, Precedent, Jargon,............