HAVING felt my mind drawn towards a visit to a few meetings in Pennsylvania, Iwas very desirous to be rightly instructed as to the time of setting off. Onthe 10th of the Fifth Month, 1761, being the first day of the week, I went toHaddonfield Meeting, concluding to seek for heavenly instruction, and comehome, or go on, as I might then believe best for me, and there through thespringing up of pure love I felt encouragement, and so crossed the river. Inthis visit I was at two Quarterly and three Monthly Meetings, and in the love of truth I felt my way open to labour with some noted Friends who kept negroes.
As I was favoured to keep to the root, and endeavour to discharge what Ibelieved was required of me, I found inward peace therein, from time to time,and thankfulness of heart to the Lord, who was graciously pleased to be a guideto me.
Eighth Month, 1761. -- Having felt drawings in my mind to visit Friends inand about Shrewsbury; I went there, and was at their Monthly Meeting, and theirFirst-day meeting; I had also a meeting at Squan, and another at Squanquam,and, as way opened, had conversation with some noted Friends concerning theirslaves. I returned home in a thankful sense of the goodness of the Lord.
From the concern I felt growing in me for some years, I wrote part the secondof a work entitled "Considerations on keeping Negroes," which was printed thisyear, 1762. When the overseers of the press had done with it, they offered toget a number printed, to be paid for out of the Yearly Meeting's stock, to begiven away; but I being most easy to publish it at my own expense, and offeringmy reasons, they appeared satisfied.
This stock is the contribution of the members of our religious society ingeneral, among whom are some who keep negroes, and, being inclined to continuethem in slavery, are not likely to be satisfied with such books being spreadamong a people, especially at their own expense, many of whose slaves aretaught to read, and such, receiving them as a gift, often conceal them. But asthey who make a purchase generally buy that which they have a mind for, Ibelieved it best to sell them, expecting by that means they would moregenerally be read with attention. Advertisements were signed by order of theoverseers of the press, and directed to be read in the Monthly Meetings ofbusiness within our own Yearly Meeting, informing where the books were, andthat the price was no more than the cost of printing and binding them. Manywere taken off in our parts; some I sent to Virginia, some to New York, some tomy acquaintance at Newport, and some I kept, intending to give part of themaway, where there appeared a prospect of service.
In my youth I was used to hard labour, and though I was middling healthy, yetmy nature was not fitted to endure so much as many others. Being often weary, Iwas prepared to sympathize with those whose circumstances in life, as free men,required constant labour to answer the demands of their creditors, as well aswith others under oppression. In the uneasiness of body which I have many timesfelt by too much labour, not as a forced but a voluntary oppression, I haveoften been excited to think on the original cause of that oppression which isimposed on many in the world. The latter part of the time wherein I laboured onour plantation, my heart, through the fresh visitations of heavenly love, being often tender, and my leisure time being frequently spent in reading the lifeand doctrines of our blessed Redeemer, the account of the sufferings ofmartyrs, and the history of the first rise of our Society, a belief wasgradually settled in my mind, that, if such as had great estates generallylived in that humility and plainness which belong to a Christian life, and laidmuch easier rents and interests on their lands and moneys, and thus led the wayto a right use of things, so great a number of people might be employed inthings useful that labour both for men and other creatures would need to be nomore than an agreeable employ, and divers branches of business, which servechiefly to please the natural inclinations of our minds, and which at presentseem necessary to circulate that wealth which some gather, might, in this wayof pure wisdom, be discontinued. As I have thus considered these things, aquery at times hath arisen: Do I, in all my proceedings, keep to that use ofthings which is agreeable to universal righteousness? And then there hath somedegree of sadness at times come over me, because I accustomed myself to somethings which have occasioned more labour than I believe divine wisdom intendedfor us.
From my early acquaintance with truth I have often felt an inward distress,occasioned by the striving of a spirit in me against the operation of theheavenly principle; and in this state I have been affected with a sense of myown wretchedness, and in a mourning condition have felt earnest longings forthat divine help which brings the soul into true liberty. Sometimes on retiringinto private places, the spirit of supplication hath been given me, and under aheavenly covering I have asked my gracious Father to give me a heart in allthings resigned to the direction of His wisdom; in uttering language like this,the thought of my wearing hats and garments dyed with a dye hurtful to them hasmade lasting impression on me.
In visiting people of note in the Society who had slaves, and labouring withthem in brotherly love on that account, I have seen, and the sight has affectedme, that a conformity to some customs distinguishable from pure wisdom hasentangled many, and that the desire of gain to support these customs hasgreatly opposed the work of truth. Sometimes when the prospect of the workbefore me has been such that in bowedness of spirit I have been drawn intoretired places, and have besought the Lord with tears that He would take mewholly under His direction, and show me the way in which I ought to walk, ithath revived with strength of conviction that if I would be His faithfulservant I must in all things attend to His wisdom, and be teachable, and socease from all customs contrary thereto, however used among religious people.
As He is the perfection of power, of wisdom, and of goodness, so I believe Hehath provided that so much labour shall be necessary for men's support in this world as would, being rightly divided, be a suitable employment of their time;and that we cannot go into superfluities, or grasp after wealth in a waycontrary to His wisdom, without having connection with some degree ofoppression, and with that spirit which leads to self-exaltation and strife, andwhich frequently brings calamities on countries by parties contending abouttheir claims.
Being thus fully convinced, and feeling an increasing desire to live in thespirit of peace, I have often been sorrowfully affected with thinking on theunquiet spirit in which wars are generally carried on, and with the miseries ofmany of my fellow-creatures engaged therein; some suddenly destroyed; somewounded, and after much pain remaining cripples; some deprived of all theiroutward substance and reduced to want; and some carried into captivity.
Thinking often on these things, the use of hats and garments dyed with a dyehurtful to them, and wearing more clothes in summer than are useful, grew moreuneasy to me, believing them to be customs which have not their foundation inpure wisdom. The apprehension of being singular from my beloved friends was astrait upon me, and thus I continued in the use of some things contrary to myjudgment.
On the 31st of Fifth Month, 1761, I was taken ill of a fever, and after ithad continued near a week, I was in great distress of body. One day there was acry raised in me that I might understand the cause of my affliction, andimprove under it, and my conformity to some customs which I believed were notright was brought to my remembrance. In the continuance of this exercise I feltall the powers in me yield themselves up into the hands of Him who gave mebeing, and was made thankful that He had taken hold of me by His chastisements.
Feeling the necessity of further purifying, there was now no desire in me forhealth until the design of my correction was answered. Thus I lay in abasementand brokenness of spirit, and as I felt a sinking down into a calm resignation,so I felt, as in an instant, an inward healing in my nature, and from that timeforward I grew better.
Though my mind was thus settled in relation to hurtful dyes, I felt easy towear my garments heretofore made, and continued to do so about nine months.
Then I thought of getting a hat the natural colour of the fur, but theapprehension of being looked upon as one affecting singularity felt uneasy tome. Here I had occasion to consider that things, though small in themselves,being clearly enjoined by divine authority, become great things to us; and Itrusted that the Lord would support me in the trials that might attendsingularity, so long as singularity was only for His sake. On this account Iwas under close exercise of mind in the time of our General Spring Meeting,1762, greatly desiring to be rightly directed; when, being deeply bowed in spirit before the Lord, I was made willing to submit to what I apprehended wasrequired of me, and when I returned home got a hat of the natural color of thefur.
In attending meetings this singularity was a trial to me, and more especiallyat this time, as white hats were used by some who were fond of following thechangeable modes of dress, and as some Friends who knew not from what motives Iwore it grew shy of me, I felt my way for a time shut up in the exercise of theministry. In this condition, my mind being turned toward my Heavenly Fatherwith fervent cries that I might be preserved to walk before Him in the meeknessof wisdom, my heart was often tender in meetings, and I felt an inwardconsolation which to me was very precious under these difficulties.
I had several dyed garments fit for use which I believed it best to wear tillI had occasion for new ones. Some Friends were apprehensive that my wearingsuch a hat savoured of an affected singularity; those who spoke with me in afriendly way I generally informed, in a few words, that I believed my wearingit was not in my own will. I had at times been sensible that a superficialfriendship had been dangerous to me; and many Friends being now uneasy with me,I had an inclination to acquaint some with the manner of my being led intothese things; yet upon a deeper thought I was for a time most easy to omit it,believing the present dispensation was profitable, and trusting that, if I keptmy place, the Lord in his own time would open the hearts of Friends towards me.
I have since had cause to admire His goodness and loving-kindness in leadingabout and instructing me, and in opening and enlarging my heart in some of ourmeetings.
In the Eleventh Month this year, feeling an engagement of mind to visit somefamilies in Mansfield, I joined my beloved friend Benjamin Jones, and we spenta few days together in that service. In the Second Month, 1763, I joined, incompany with Elizabeth Smith and Mary Noble, in a visit to the families ofFriends at Ancocas. In both these visits, through the baptizing power of truth,the sincere labourers were often comforted, and the hearts of Friends opened toreceive us. In the Fourth Month following, I accompanied some Friends in avisit to the families of Friends in Mount Holly; during this visit my mind wasoften drawn into an inward awfulness, wherein strong desires were raised forthe everlasting welfare of my fellow-creatures, and through the kindness of ourHeavenly Father our hearts were at times enlarged, and Friends were invited inthe flowings of divine love to attend to that which would settle them on thesure foundation.
Having for many years felt love in my heart towards the natives of this landwho dwell far back in the wilderness, whose ancestors were formerly the owners and possessors of the land where we dwell, and who for a small considerationassigned their inheritance to us, and being at Philadelphia in the EighthMonth, 1761, on a visit to some Friends who had slaves, I fell in company withsome of those natives who lived on the east branch of the river Susquehanna, atan Indian town called Wehaloosing, two hundred miles from Philadelphia. Inconversation with them by an interpreter, as also by observations on theircountenances and conduct, I believed some of them were measurably acquaintedwith that divine power which subjects the rough and froward will of thecreature. At times I felt inward drawings towards a visit to that place, whichI mentioned to none except my dear wife until it came to some ripeness.
In the winter of 1762 I laid my prospects before my friends at our Monthlyand Quarterly, and afterwards at our General Spring Meeting; and having theunity of Friends, and being thoughtful about an Indian pilot, there came a manand three women from a little beyond that town to Philadelphia on business.
Being informed thereof by letter, I met them in town in the 5th Month, 1763;and after some conversation, finding they were sober people, I, with theconcurrence of Friends in that place, agreed to join them as companions intheir return, and we appointed to meet at Samuel Foulk's, at Richland, in BucksCounty, on the 7th of Sixth Month. Now, as this visit felt weighty, and wasperformed at a time when travelling appeared perilous, so the dispensations ofdivine Providence in preparing my mind for it have been memorable, and Ibelieve it good for me to give some account thereof.
After I had given up to go, the thoughts of the journey were often attendedwith unusual sadness, at which times my heart was frequently turned to the Lordwith inward breathings for His heavenly support, that I might not fail tofollow Him wheresoever He might lead me. Being at our youth's meeting atChesterfield, about a week before the time I expected to set off, I was thereled to speak on that prayer of our Redeemer to the Father: "I pray not thatThou shouldest take them out of the world, but that Thou shouldest keep themfrom the evil." And in attending to the pure openings of truth, I had tomention what He elsewhere said to His Father: "I know that Thou hearest Me atall times;" so, as some of His followers kept their places, and as His prayerwas granted, it followed necessarily that they were kept from evil: and as someof those met with great hardships and afflictions in this world, and at lastsuffered death by cruel men, so it appears that whatsoever befalls men whilethey live in pure obedience to God certainly works for their good, and may notbe considered an evil as it relates to them. As I spake on this subject myheart was much tendered, and great awfulness came over me.
On the first day of the week, being at our own afternoon meeting, and myheart being enlarged in love, I was led to speak on the care and protection of the Lord over His people, and to make mention of that passage where a band ofSyrians, who were endeavouring to take captive the prophet, were disappointed;and how the Psalmist said, "The angel of the Lord encampeth round about themthat fear Him." Thus, in true love and tenderness, I parted from Friends,expecting the next morning to proceed on my journey. Being weary I went earlyto bed. After I had been asleep a short time, I was awoke by a man calling atmy door, and inviting me to meet some Friends at a public-house in our town,who came from Philadelphia so late that Friends were generally gone to bed.
These Friends informed me that an express had arrived the last morning fromPittsburg, and brought news that the Indians had taken a fort from the Englishwestward, and had slain and scalped some English people near the saidPittsburg, and in divers places.
Some elderly Friends in Philadelphia, knowing the time of my intending to setoff, had conferred together, and thought good to inform me of these thingsbefore I left home, that I might consider them and proceed as I believed best.
Going to bed again, I told not my wife till morning. My heart was turned to theLord for His heavenly instruction; and it was an humbling time to me. When Itold my dear wife, she appeared to be deeply concerned about it; but in a fewhours' time my mind became settled in a belief that it was my duty to proceedon my journey, and she bore it with a good degree of resignation. In thisconflict of spirit there were great searchings of heart and strong cries to theLord, that no motion might in the least degree be attended to but that of thepure spirit of truth.
The subjects before mentioned, on which I had so lately spoken in public,were now fresh before me, and I was brought inwardly to commit myself to theLord, to be disposed of as He saw best. I took leave of my family andneighbours in much bowedness of spirit, and went to our Monthly Meeting atBurlington. After taking leave of Friends there, I crossed the river,accompanied by my friends Israel and John Pemberton; and parting the nextmorning with Israel, John bore me company to Samuel Foulk's, where I met thebefore-mentioned Indians; and we were glad to see each other.
Here my friend Benjamin Parvin met me, and proposed joining me as acompanion, -- we had before exchanged some letters on the subject, -- and now Ihad a sharp trial on his account; for, as the journey appeared perilous, Ithought if he went chiefly to bear me company, and we should be taken captive,my having been the means of drawing him into these difficulties would add to myown afflictions; so I told him my mind freely, and let him know that I wasresigned to go alone; but after all, if he really believed it to be his duty togo on, I believed his company would be very comfortable to me. It was, indeed,a time of deep exercise, and Benjamin appeared to be so fastened to the visit that he could not be easy to leave me; so we went on, accompanied by ourfriends John Pemberton and William Lightfoot of Pikeland.
We lodged at Bethlehem, and there parting with John, William and we wentforward on the 9th of the Sixth Month, and got lodging on the floor of a house,about five miles from Fort Allen. Here we parted with William, and at thisplace we met with an Indian trader lately come from Wyoming. In conversationwith him, I perceived that many white people often sell rum to the Indians,which I believe is a great evil. In the first place, they are thereby deprivedof the use of reason, and, their spirits being violently agitated, quarrelsoften arise which end in mischief, and the bitterness and resentment occasionedhereby are frequently of long continuance. Again, their skins and furs, gottenthrough much fatigue and hard travels in hunting, with which they intended tobuy clothing, they often sell at a low rate for more rum, when they becomeintoxicated; and afterward, when they suffer for want of the necessaries oflife, are angry with those who, for the sake of gain, took advantage of theirweakness.
Their chiefs have often complained of this in their treaties with theEnglish. Where cunning people pass counterfeits and impose on others that whichis good for nothing, it is considered as wickedness; but for the sake of gainto sell that which we know does people harm, and which often works their ruin,manifests a hardened and corrupt heart, and is an evil which demands the careof all true lovers of virtue to suppress. While my mind this evening was thusemployed, I also remembered that the people on the frontiers, among whom thisevil is too common, are often poor; and that they venture to the outside of thecolony in order to live more independently of the wealthy, who often set highrents on their land. I was renewedly confirmed in a belief, that, if all ourinhabitants lived according to sound wisdom, labouring to promote universallove and righteousness, and ceased from every inordinate desire after wealth,and from all customs which are tinctured with luxury, the way would be easy forour inhabitants, though they might be much more numerous than at present, tolive comfortably on honest employments, without the temptation they are sooften under of being drawn into schemes to make settlements on lands which havenot been purchased of the Indians, or of applying to that wicked practice ofselling rum to them.
Tenth of Sixth Month. -- We set out early this morning and crossed thewestern branch of Delaware, called the Great Lehie, near Fort Allen. The waterbeing high, we went over in a canoe. Here we met an Indian, had friendlyconversation with him, and gave him some biscuit; and he, having killed a deer,gave some of it to the Indians with us. After travelling some miles, we metseveral Indian men and women with a cow and horse, and some household goods, who were lately come from their dwelling at Wyoming, and were going to settleat another place. We made them some small presents, and, as some of themunderstood English, I told them my motive for coming into their country, withwhich they appeared satisfied. One of our guides talking awhile with an ancientwoman concerning us, the poor old woman came to my companion and me, and tookher leave of us with an appearance of sincere affection. We pitched our tentnear the banks of the same river, having laboured hard in crossing some ofthose mountains called the Blue Ridge. The roughness of the stones and thecavities between them, with the steepness of the hills, made it appeardangerous. But we were preserved in safety, through the kindness of Him whoseworks in these mountainous deserts appeared awful, and towards whom my heartwas turned during this day's travel.
Near our tent, on the sides of large trees peeled for that purpose, werevarious representations of men going to and returning from the wars, and ofsome being killed in battle. This was a path heretofore used by warriors, andas I walked about viewing those Indian histories, which were painted mostly inred or black, and thinking on the innumerable afflictions which the proud,fierce spirit produceth in the world, also on the toils and fatigues ofwarriors in travelling over mountains and deserts; on their miseries anddistresses when far from home and wounded by their enemies; of their bruisesand great weariness in chasing one another over the rocks and mountains; of therestless, unquiet state of mind of those who live in this spirit, and of thehatred which mutually grows up in the minds of their children, -- the desire tocherish the spirit of love and peace among these people arose very fresh in me.
This was the first night that we lodged in the woods, and being wet withtravelling in the rain, as were also our blankets, the ground, our tent, andthe bushes under which we purposed to lay, all looked discouraging; but Ibelieved that it was the Lord who had thus far brought me forward, and that Hewould dispose of me as He saw good, and so I felt easy. We kindled a fire, withour tent open to it, then laid some bushes next the ground, and put ourblankets upon them for our bed, and, lying down, got some sleep. In themorning, feeling a little unwell, I went into the river; the water was cold,but soon after I felt fresh and well. About eight o'clock we set forward andcrossed a high mountain supposed to be upward of four miles over, the northside being the steepest. About noon we were overtaken ............